Contentment, Part 2

Let’s start again with the thought that to be content you must accept your circumstances, no matter how difficult or frightening or painful, as being allowed by God. Contentment comes only through acceptance of your circumstances. Acceptance requires believing God at His Word when He says:

I know the plans I have for you. They are plans for good and not disaster, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11.

Those words rang empty to me as I suffered at the hands of my rapist. How could God define my circumstance as good, as giving me a future and a hope. No, at age 21, I believed my life was over, and I had no hope, no future.

The truth is believing Jeremiah 29:11. You must begin with trusting that God KNOWS the plans He has for you. Psalm 139:16 says:

You saw me before I was born.
Every day of my life was recorded in Your book.
Every moment was laid out
before a single day passed.

These words were hard for me to read as I considered my rape. If God knew me before I was born and every day was recorded in His book and every moment laid out before I lived out a single one, what this man did to me was in God’s plan. God knew it before it happened. Worse, He watched from His throne in heaven as this man committed unspeakable acts against His child…and He did NOTHING to stop it! My heart cried out, God how could this be on Your schedule? Why would You plan such an event? How could you watch it unfold and do NOTHING!

Do you know that place? Have you ever wondered why a loving God would allow your pain?

The more I read, the more questions I had. Part of me was scared of what God would reveal next as I asked more questions. Yet the other part of me was desperate for answers. But in my search, I was led to God’s greatest character trait of all: His love. The Bible plainly says that “God is love” in 1 John 4:16. Love is the essence of His being. Further, He promises in Romans 8:38-39:

And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow – not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below – indeed, nothing in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Through these verses, God was drawing me closer and closer to Himself, revealing His character bit by bit. He was not revealing His plan. He wanted me to take a leap of faith and trust Him with my questions. He was not asking me to do it blindly. He was showing me why He was trustworthy, why I could trust Him.

As I read these verses and met God in His Word, I physically felt part of my anger against God subside. Somewhere deep within me, I knew God grieved for me as I suffered at the hands of my rapist. How could He do any less? I was His child, created in His image, loved with His everlasting love.

Was I content yet? Definitely not. But God was changing my perspective of Who He was in baby steps. The answer to “why” would be found only as I began to know God more fully.

If you find yourself in a place of searching for answers to your “why,” pray this prayer:

Heavenly Father, Author of Life, Sovereign Lord, enter into my pain, enter into my doubts, help me with my unbelief. Open my eyes to see and my ears to hear Your Word. Grow my roots deeper, anchor me in Your Word. Through revelation and knowledge of Who You are, fill me with peace and contentment. Teach me contentment in all things and in all circumstances, especially in the difficult place I find myself today. I love You, Lord, and I ask this in the powerful name of Your Son Jesus!!

This post includes excerpts from my new book, Hidden Joy in a Dark Corner: The Transforming Power of God’s Story, Chapter Two, Why Did God Allow This?

Sweet blessings to you,