Wow, ladies, I was totally blown away by the response to my devotional for Proverbs and my post last week, “I Choose NOT to be Offended.” In one sense, it made me feel better that I am not the only woman out there who feels offended by the words of others. But it also saddened my heart to think so many of us feel that way.
Surely this is why our heavenly Father directly addresses this in His Word…so many times! He created our very beings. He knows our hearts; He knows our flesh. He knows our hurts. Below are some powerful TRUTHS from Proverbs Chapter 17 and 18:
Better a dry crust with peace and quiet than a house full of feasting, with strife
He who covers over an offense promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends.
Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam; so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out.
A cheerful heart is like good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.
A man of knowledge uses words with restraint, and a man of understanding is even-tempered.
Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue.
A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions.
He who answers before listening – that is his folly and his shame.
An offended brother is more unyielding than a fortified city, and disputes are like the barred gates of a citadel.
There are so many more nuggets of Truth in these two chapters. I encourage you in a quiet time to read through them. When I am offended by another’s words, my immediate reaction is to lash back…to let them know they hurt my feelings…sometimes even to hurt back. I want them to KNOW they hurt me, hoping they will then feel bad and apologize. Friends, that rarely happens. What usually happens next is that they get defensive and then a battle ensues.
For some of you, when you are offended rather than lash out, you withdraw. The real word for that is you pout. I have been known to do that as well on occasion. You don’t speak your words out loud, but you might as well because your face and behavior says it all. You are punishing the person for their words with the “silent treatment.”
Don’t get me wrong, silence is good when it is “godly silence.” Silence without pouting. Prayerful silence. Silence that considers the offending words in light of the reality of your own hurting heart and the offender’s true motives. Godly silence asks the Lord to reveal Truths from His Word you can speak over your heart. It takes your eyes off of yourself and the offending words and places them on God.
Oh, when I write you this please know that I am writing these words to myself. What I am learning on this journey is that allowing the offender’s words to anger me quickly turns into a quarrel which then turns into strife which is then SIN in the eyes of my God. Greater harm comes as hurtful words pour forth from my mouth.
I invite you to join me this week and put these Truths into practice. Let’s examine our words. Let’s ask ourselves what are our motives…do we speak to get even…do we spout off words to heal or to hurt…will our words draw people to the Lord or away from the Lord…will our words drive wedges in a relationship? These are difficult questions but ones I think we must answer to CHOOSE not to be offended.
Please share your stories with me this week. They will serve as such encouragement as I work on this area in my life.
Let me pray for us:
Father God, thank You for Your Word. Thank You that is is LIVING and ACTIVE meant for us today. Father, will You help us this week to put a guard at our mouth? Through the power of Your Holy Spirit will You convict our hearts to think and pray before we speak? Keep our hearts focused on You and not on ourselves. Give us ears to hear other’s words through Your Word. Father, thank You that in You ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE…even taming our tongue. We ask this in the Powerful and Effective name of Your Son, Jesus Christ our Lord. AMEN.
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Wendy,
Thanks for your boldness and reminding us just how the Father calls us to relate to each other! Thanks for your kind words about my new blog. Have a super week!
Lynn
I love your blog, it really opens up a great perspective on our words. Have a blessed day ;0)
Winnie
This post helped me so much today! Thanks for your encouragement and exhortation! Thanks also for helping me place God's Word in my heart rather than letting offense fester.
I appreciate your wisdom and your heart!
Wendy, I think our hearts beat in tandem sometimes! I love your encouragement here!
The Lord taught me such a valuable lesson of truth through Proverbs 17:9 (you have it above) this past spring. I JUST started writing about it over the weekend. His truth is truth…it is unfailing! I had been offended by a friend and God spoke to me "cover in love, do not repeat the matter….not even to a confidant". Oh the blessing and joy in obeying Him! I'll be writing about it.
Love what you shared here! I thank God for you my sister in Christ. We are kindred spirits.
Hello Wendy and other ladys:)
What i have a request for doesnt really tie into this blog but im asking for prayers at this critical time in my cousins life. I recieved a call from my cousin Donnie on saturday past he has not been in touch with any of us in the family since hes dad passed away 2 years ago. He has mental illness, Addictions to drugs and alcohol and anger management issues.
He told me he wanted to get help and he tried but noone returned hes phone calls but the grace of God i was able to meet up with him that day and take him to emergency at the hospital and wait with him and get him seen by someone. the sad part is they really didnt do much however he has an appointment tommorow morning at addiction center and im going to meet him there for hes appointment.
I please ask that you would cover me in prayers and also for donnie cause he is really having a hard time, it hurts me to see my flesh and blood suffering in this bondage that satan has him in and i just need to continue to have Gods strenght to do as Hes asking me to do. And please pray that Donnie will continue getting the help he needs and not get discouraged or feel he is beyond help. This is a battle and i know God has the Victory, but prayers of a righteous man or women in this case availth much and we are all the Righteousness of God in Christ Jesus. Thank you dear sisters, any thing God lays on your heart about this while praying i would love for you to share it with me, thanks so much and God bless you all.
your sister in Christ
Lisa
Nova Scotia
Lisa, we are praying right now for Donnie. Heavenly Father, we praise You as Jehovah Rapha, God our Healer, and we call upon You as Redeemer, Deliverer, and Savior. Lord, we ask that You reign down Your power and Your presence in Donnie's life right now. We ask that Your angels form a wall around him as He stands against deception, addiction, and the lies of the evil one. Father, Donnie's sole Deliverer, deliver Him from this addiction and bring Donnie out of darkness and bondage into Light and the Freedom that is found only in You. We ask this in the Name of Jesus Christ our Lord. AMEN
Thank you so much Wendy, i will send you an email shortly. God bless you:)
Wendy,
I was away on vacation and didn't have internet access but just came back to catch up on the bible study and found this post. I truly find this is one area I struggle with especially because in the midst of expressing myself I can often come across sarcastically and blunt. So I too will keep the prayer of taming the tounge in my heart and meditate on ways to do so. Thank you Wendy for your continued diligence in bringing the word of God to us Gals and admiting times when you fall prey to SIN. God Bless
Jessica B from NYC