Welcome to all of you who read my devotion and are visiting my blog for the first time from the Proverbs 31 website, http://www.proverbs31.org/. I am always so thankful to make new girlfriends!!
This devotion grew out of a weariness from continually feeling slighted and hurt by people’s words. I always saw the worst in people’s words rather than the best. Perhaps it came from past hurts, perhaps it came from a self-centered heart…I really am not sure. But one thing I did know, I was tired.
How precious it is that the Lord would use my 15-year-old daughter to speak a powerful Truth into my life. She caused me to look inward and ask WHY do I allow people’s words to hurt me.
I looked to God’s Word for direction. I prayed Psalm 139:23-24:
Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way of everlasting.
Friends, beware of praying that prayer!!! For the Lord was faithful to answer it in ways that pierced to the depths of my soul. As I continued to search His Word, I realized that my sensitivity was because I often made everything about me. I looked for ways to be offended…inserting motives, creating scenarios, drawing conclusions. That is what was so exhausting!!!
Can anyone identify with me???? God’s Word tells us,
My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.
Wow, those words hit me hard!! My actions…the way I received words…the way I harbored them…the way I responded to them did not bring about the righteous life that God desires. My self-centered attitude pointed people to me and not to Christ!!
Choosing not to be offended brings glory to God. It is not easy!!! It takes surrendering your heart to God’s Spirit. It means turning your eyes from yourself to your Father. It means listening before you speak. It is SELF-CONTROL.
David prayed in Psalm 141:3,
Set a guard over my mouth, O Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips.
We can expand that by praying for the Lord to set a guard over our heart. Romans 12:1 says,
Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God – this is your spiritual act of worship.
Friends, this is not easy. I continue to struggle sometimes with how I receive words. But the struggle is now in my heart and my mind…not so much in my spoken word. I made the decision to hold my tongue and speak Truth over my heart. It is now between the Lord and me. I see God doing a new thing. Baby steps…every day…every conversation. Transformation will come because God is faithful.
I would love to hear from you. f you have verses, spiritual guidance, or words of wisdom on this subject please share your thoughts by leaving a comment on my blog.
If you want a great resource to help with TAMING YOUR TONGUE, Proverbs carries a book entitled Taming Your Tongue. Visit our web site at www.proverbs31.org to order a copy.
Sweet Blessings to you!
Hidden Joy in a Dark Corner: The Transforming Power of God's Story 
All Things Wise and Wonderful: Applying God's Wisdom in Everyday Life (E-Book)
Wendy….Been there, done that, still occasionally let it rise to the surface. She says, "Oh, I haven't seen one of those jackets in a long time." I hear, "Oh, you are so out of style and behind the times. You look silly." Yep, I know exactly what you're talking about.
I hope to email you later today to tell you a little about the weekend….God is so good
Wedding: 11 days and counting!
Good Morning Wendy, Great topic this morning. I too struggle with wanting the appoval of men. Being hurt by the things people say. I've grown alot but still working on it. A big encouragement to me is that there is an "attraction" to the confident women. A women who knows who she belongs to, whose beauty/glory comes from the lord. This attractions allows her to point to Christ and to encourage others. I know I don't like to be around the whining, angry, self centered kind of women that I can sometimes be. I want to be all that God says I am! Have a blessed day!
Hi Wendy, it was very nice to read your blog today; it literally felt like I was reading my own story, my own words. I can relate on a lot of diffrent levels here. A few weeks ago the Lord started to reveal to me my tongue and the words I constantly am speaking. He is also revealing in the same sense, my out of control emotions, where I respond out of a selfish heart. I know I have a long road ahead of me, but I am encouraged that God is faithful. He will continue to help me along better paths, and He will be by my side the whole way; just like He was faithful to walk you through it. Thanks for sharing your walk with us.
Hi Wendy – I can't tell you how much your post on Proverbs 31 meant to me today – I choose not to be offended. I too have a 15 year old daughter who says the same exact thing to me all the time and I always thought it was her just being mean. I too always read devotions or listen to sermons and think I am going to send this to so and so or I will tell so and so what this was about, I thank the Lord so much for having you bring this to my attention and heart- I wish I could talk to you more!
Wendy,
Thank you for revealing this to me about letting my hurts go out of control. I constantly feel that "others' say words that hurt me and are a direct attack on me. I need to give these thoughts and feelings over to God. I have never heard the verse from Proverbs about it "being a glory to overlook an offense"! Wow….how long do I hold onto words that pierce my heart when i could overlook these and move on and begin to pray an honest and sincere prayer for that other person. Thank you for prompting my heart today to let go of hurts and to realize that God views of me are more important than anyone else's.
"I often made everything about me. I looked for ways to be offended…inserting motives, creating scenarios, drawing conclusions. That is what was so exhausting!!!"
I am sorry to say I can relate all too well to those words! Thanks so much for sharing how God is helping you overcome this–what I call–SELF centeredness! I'm sick to death of it!
Have a blessed day
Amy
Wendy,
The post today was truly a blessing to me. I have been nursing hurt words spoken to me for a long time and your blog posting today ministered to the depth of my soul. I have a choice, and I can choose not to be offended which is a really hard thing to do. In turning the other cheek, I see that God will be glorified and that's all that really matters. I called my church to talk about 'what someone had said to me' and they told me that the person didn't have the problem, but that I had the problem. The minister told me to look at 1 Corinthian regarding love. I want to thank you so much for writing this today. I will review the scriptures you posted and pray to overcome my self-centered heart.
Anonymous
Wendy, thanks so much for sharing. This weekend even though I was among such a wonderful crowd of women, I had opportunities to feel slighted or rejected or just plain hurt by words and actions. At those times I made a bee-line for the prayer room where God reminded me that it's not all about me. And that's the problem when I feel those hurt or rejection feelings- I'm making it all about me.
Thanks for the reminder and for your transparency.
Hi Wendy,
You are a blessing to many….I get on the pity-pot more often than I would like to from peoples words and actions. This past 2 weeks I've been finding myself not saying too much….just been sitting,watching,wondering,reading, praying. (Searching for answers???)….I could be?
Is it God changing my heart?…Could be? Is it God using Wendy Blight for his Glory?. I have to give you a big applause for all your time and energy you been putting into this and the bible study on your book. After reading your devotion today I felt a baby-step being taken.
Wish there were more girlfriends like you.
God Bless!!
A sister in Christ
Wendy, your post was perfect timing for me. I have dealt with hurtful words for several weeks now, hurt by the words that were said to me, my son and other parents and children. Unfortunately, this has led to her dismissal as a teacher at school. This isn't the end all. I need to show forgiveness not just for me, but the eyes of my teen who is watching how his mom handles this.
You are right, I must choose not to be offended.
I enjoyed meeting you this weekend and look forward to popping in on you here.
This blessed me in a way that only my sisters in Christ can understand. I beat myself up because even though I am a Christian I would let people offend me all the time. The worse part of it was thinking I was the only one that did this! I shared your message with my girlfriends not knowing if they struggle with it or not. It hinders me from moving forward, because I am always stuck in the muck with my anger and resentment. I am sure that is where the devil would love to keep me, but thanks to God's word and people such as yourself, we can fight the good fight together. Keep pouring your heart out, it ministers to so many!
Oh my goodness…this has been my thought process this past week…with me it isn't words that hurt, it's actions and lifestyles of those I love! God has given back to me a thousand times over laughter, close family unity, joy in my marriage!!! August/July has been reunion time-old friends, relatives…then after each meeting
I get so bogged down, family especially. I am checking myself now on why I am discontent…5 min. have passed…gonna take your advice and reenlist my journal to write..to bring forth prayer. Thank you, thank you…I am already seeing this burden of spiritual attack lessoning, because lets face it…noone has spoken an unkind word to me all summer!
Wendy,
Thank you so very much for this devotion! I have a problem with being offended by others words also! I take everything to heart! I need to read this every time this feeling surfaces, which is often. What a blessing to have this to fall back on to remind me what this is all about. God bless you and your family.
Hi Wendy,
I struggle with being overly sensitive all the time – even when others don't intentionally mean to hurt me. I didn't realize I could come across as being self-centered because I never looked at it from that perspective. But, that is so true. I am being a hindrance to others because I am taking the focus off God and putting it on myself like I'm more important than Him. Obviously, I have a long ways to go but I thank you for opening my eyes and helping me to step out of God's way and let Him work – especially in me.
Blessings to all this week,
Chauncey
i love how practical your devotion was this morning (i got it in my email). i often get so caught up in the theoretical/theological stuff, that i forget that the Bible is a practical self-help book! thankyou for highlighting that for me!
I get caught up sometimes in what others say to/about me, too. Thanks for the simple truths in your devotion today–I kind of said "Duh!" to myself when I read what you had to say–it's practical advice that we should already know!
Thanks!
♥Susan
Hey Wendy! This was the best post! You could have written it just for me! THere are so many spiritual truths that God shows us through others–especially those closest to us who can and will be completely honest!! Thank goodness for family!
The scriptures that you referenced are wonderful. I will get my new little pink journal that my sweet friend Kelly gave me for She Speaks and write these down! Wendy P's talk has opened my eyes and heart to some things that I need to be doing regularly!! You two Wendy's are amazing. So loved catching up with you this weekend, Talk to you soon!
Hugs!
Susan
Thank YOU!!!!! Words I needed to hear! Thankkkkkk You!
Wendy
Just wanted to leave you a quick comment letting you know I enjoyed your P31 devotional today. I need to CHOSE not to be offended myself. Thank you for sharing the lesson God taught you,with us.
Thanks, Wendy, for your devotional today. This is an area that I've struggled with. It seems my day is full of opportunities to take offense, and boy, am I quick to do so! And I have a tendency to hold onto the offenses, which isn't healthy to me physically or spiritually. I never realized how self-centered I am when I do this, but thanks so much for pointing this out. I pray that the Lord will remind me of your devotional the next time I jump to offense. Thanks!
Sister, I love you! I am so easily offended when people say things to me to, but God has been working on my heart with that issue… because it is pride. My wicked, prideful flesh. Ack!
How uncanny to read this topic in today's Crosswalk devotional. I have struggled for a long time with not letting the words of others (my husband, mainly) get to me…I really have a hard time not replaying over and over some of the arguments we've had, and today was one of those days where I was hurting and just struggling with not letting resentment take over my heart, and I asked God for help. When I got home, I opened my daily e-mail devotional and your words were EXACTLY what I needed to hear. Thank you, and praise God!
Wendy, thank you for this excellent, life-changing post. Thank you for the reminder that we are to ONLY get our approval from God. The Lord told me to say "I WILL walk in the Spirit; therefore, I WILL NOT fulfill the lust of the flesh" (Galatians 5:16) daily. Not just daily, but throughout the day! I have also added, "I choose not to be offended". Being offended truly means you are not walking in the Spirit, but are definitely walking in the flesh. Thanks for such a confirming email to support what the Lord had already begun in me!
It also is easy for me to feel offended in emails or online conversations since typed words don't convey emotions or intent too well. You can't tell whether someone is snippy or just joking or in a hurry, so what they write may come across as flippant, criticism, dismissal. Or if no one replies, I might think everyone is ignoring me. But I have decided to over-look any slights (intentional or not) and take the upper road. My validation of worth comes from my Father, not from what others write. I choose to not be offended, to continue reaching out to try to help others.
http://www.wikihow.com/Stop-Taking-Things-Personally
This is a secular article, but makes some good points. When someone compliments, that too should not change your self-esteem or value. Sometimes I depend too much on others' opinions of me for how I view myself, instead of keeping focused on God alone.
Wendy, I loved this devotion! We were away on vacation, so I read it on my email via cell phone. I completely missed that you had written it! It really touched me…something I need to hear on a regular basis. Or keep tatooed on my forehead. Thank you!
Thanks Wendy (slap, slap) I needed that.
I needed to be reminded. I'm always so amazed that I can learn a really solid lesson and then find myself later falling back into old habits. This is what I'd been doing. Again, I was so touchy, touchy. I'd lay awake at night thinking about all the things that hurt me. It was all justified, of course. I had choosen to NOT let things offend me, but time has lapsed and I saw myself in your words. I was wondering why my life was getting so mulled up again and not so peaceful lately. You have such a tender and gentle spirit, Wendy. God is blessing me with your words. God is just so gracious to us all!
joy
I just found this site by accident. My husband hurts my feelings this morning. Something happened & I did not tell him. I just did not think it was important. I told him that I was sorry. His response, "You could have saved a lot of trouble if you had told me." I just wish that he would have said, "I know & it is OK. Next time, just tell me."
Why does he have to "dig the knife" in?
I think I am the most sensitive person I know. One man who I nearly married told me "You are the most sensitive female I have ever met!" I am not disputing the goodness of someone whose words hurt me, but words can hurt so badly. I have a professional family, some very successful in the arts or education, but I am a healthcare provider who has yet to get a degree. I have not felt apolegetic about it until they started acting like they were both proud of me for my love of those who are sick while appologizing for my lack of education. Sometimes it becomes ironic, because a very prominent scholar asked me to write a book on a subject he felt I wrote well about, and he did not care about my lack of a degree. So, now I have a family member who just called me an ASS today. This person thinks they are just being humerous but it really hurt. A very accomplished world class musician was coming to our home and the person I mention said, " Blank is coming to the house." Now, I had not seen this relative for years but am not living in their home. I was treated like an idiot for not knowing who the person was, even though I had just heard the first name. Just because I hear the name Albert, does not mean I assume Einstein is coming to dinner. I was given an apology and felt better, but I am tired of being called an ASS. I have asked the Lord to show me what it is about me that provokes people, but what they say is wrong. These people are Christians and I feel too much respect for them to ever call them the things they call me, or say the things they say to me. I KNOW THEY LOVE JESUS. I just think words hurt, and I do think sometimes we are sensitive because others are insensitive.