Welcome Encouragement for Today devotion friends. I am so excited you stopped by.
Today we will talk about taming our tongues. I would love to hear your stories, struggles and successes on this topic. Please leave a comment at the end of today’s post, and I will choose five names from the comments to win a copy of my e-book Bible Study, All Things Wise and Wonderful: Applying God’s Word in Everyday Life.
Now, let’s get to work on taming our tongues.
Words matter. Words have power. They can build up or tear down. They can encourage or discourage. They can pour forth love or spew forth hate.
Scripture teaches that the words we speak are a reflection of what fills our heart (James 3:8-12). So, if we want to tame our tongue, we must examine our hearts.
Our first step in this process is examining our speech.
Scripture reinforces this truth in Matthew 12:33-34 (NLT) :
A tree is identified by its fruit. If a tree is good, its fruit will be good. If a tree is bad, its fruit will be bad. For whatever is in your heart determines what you say.
Friend, our words and deeds reflect what fills the treasury of our hearts. What fills yours? Is it God’s Word or the world’s wisdom. Is it forgiveness or bitterness? Is it love or hate? Is it peace or anger? It is only when we have the Word of God inscribed on, dwelling in, and ruling over our hearts that our treasury will be full and our tongues will be tamed!!
Some of you have joined us from our Hidden Joy on-line study for a thirty day journey to go deeper still with God. I invite you as part of this journey to examine your speech. Some of you read the Encouragement for Today Devotion in which I invited you to keep a journal and examine your speech. Whichever way brought you here today, I hope you will take this first step in taming our tongue.
The second step to taming our tongue is disciplining our tongue.
Here are a few valuable tips I have learned through the years.
We must THINK before we speak. Ask yourself these questions.
1. Is it True?
2. Is it Helpful?
I
3. Is it Necessary?
4. Is it Kind?
I have learned that if I cannot answer “yes” to the majority, if not all, of these questions, I should hold my tongue.
God has also taught me to check my words before I allow them to leave my lips by asking myself another series of questions.
1. Is this something I really need to say?
2. What is my motive in saying it?
3. Will my words heal or hurt?
4. Will my words draw me closer to God or further away?
5. Will my words drive a wedge between the one to whom I am speaking or bring us closer together?
Of course, I don’t always follow these guidelines. Far from it. But what matters is that I know what I need to do. And committing it to prayer helps me actually do it!
God calls us to cultivate a habit of speaking life-giving words. Why? A cultivated heart produces a tamed tongue. A tamed tongue speaks words of love, mercy, grace, and encouragement. And words of love, mercy, and grace enable us to speak truth in love the times we have to speak hard truths.
I love this verse from Psalm 141:3,
Set a guard over my mouth, O Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips.
This is a great prayer to pray…to help us check our words before we speak them.
God is for us, my friend! He wants us to speak life-giving words. He wants our words to edify. If you commit taming your tongue to Him, you will succeed. My study, All Things Wise and Wonderful, grew out of my struggle with my teenage daughter. God taught me some powerful lessons that totally transformed my relationship with her. Be encouraged, and remember, with God ALL things are possible!! We can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens us.
Thank you again for stopping by today. Please remember to leave a comment sharing your thoughts on our topic today for a chance to win a copy of All Things Wise and Wonderful. If you would like to check out the abridged version of this study on-line, click here.
Also, if you are interested in signing up for future on-line studies, please sign up on the right side of my web site where you see “Sign up for Wendy’s on-line studies.” To keep up with new on-line studies we will be doing, find “Subscribe to Updates” also on the right side of my blog and sign up. By doing this, you will receive my posts and any announcements about future studies in your inbox.
Blessings,
Hidden Joy in a Dark Corner: The Transforming Power of God's Story 
All Things Wise and Wonderful: Applying God's Wisdom in Everyday Life (E-Book)
What you are saying here is so true. I think we should really also make sure of the hard truths we speak. I find that is where all fall short most often. I say to myself that what I want to say is the truth, but I so not take care to say it in a kind way and most of the time it comes out completely wrong.
I so need to hear and be taught this very important lesson…so struggle with speaking (thinking I’ll forget what my point is if I don’t say it right now) before really thinking about its impact. Thanks for your sharing of wisdom on this tipic
Yes, speaking Truth in Love is one of the hardest acts of obedience!!! It is so much easier to just spew out the words that come “naturaly.” Speaking truth in love takes swallowing our pride and putting another’s feelings before our own…and sometimes it is someone who has hurt us!!! But I have learned that God rewards our obedience!!! And He gives us His Word to guide our tongue and His Holy Spirit to enable us to follow His instructions.
W
I needed that reminder today, as I too often think after I have spoken and regret my words. So glad to have found your website and your online bible studies! Look forward to studying with you!
Thank you for sharing these words of wisdom. Just last week I opened my mouth & inserted my foot by sharing some things that were not necessary, and I have felt convicted since. I need to be reminded: Speak words of life, not death. I appreciate that you shared Ps. 141:3 with us; I’m going to write it out on a index card and post it on my mirror. Blessings…..
One of my favorite things to do…post a verse on my bathroom mirror so that it is ever before me!! That is one of the things I share in my Proverbs study. It has helped me change my heart and tongue on more than one occassion.
Blessings,
Wendy
Wendy,
glad he had me come across your web site.I was just reading the bible PETER, wow! totally confirms that MY CONTROL over my tongue is helping!!! that it is serving a CHEERFULLER PURPOSE!! its all about Jesus 
thank you for the reminder 
Thank you LORD for your words of encouragement
This is also something I need to work on. I find that I do the same thing to my kids. Especially my teen-aged son. I pray the Lord will guide me to find good things to say to him instead of always seeming to fuss at him about his chores or other things. Thanks for the devotion for today, I’m sure a lot of us need to hear it.
God is so gracious in His timing! My Desert Storm veteran husband is unable to control his anger and frustration and is often unable to stem the flow of hurtful, angry words. God continues to provide His strength to me to be loving and less reactive;your writing for today was His gift. Thank you for being open to God’s leading in your writing; it provided additional guidance for me.
Oh my goodness, how very true. I have so many times not thought about what I say before I say it, and boy does it end up hurting the people that I say it too. I am trying so hard to keep my mouth shut! This has really helped me so much.
Wow. You really nailed it. For me, the hardest part of taming the tongue is to be consistently edifying with family…the people I spend the most time with. Why is it easier to choose kind words with those we love less (if at all) than it is for the people we love most? Why does family get the brunt reaction of an insane day?
I copied the four verses you provided about words (Encouragement for Today) with a follow-up of Phil. 4:13, as this week’s power verses to memorize.
Thank you for this message.
You are so right. We are all guilty of being kind and patient with those outside our family!! I think about that so much and wonder why can’t I hold my tongue with my husband the way I do with my friend’s husband…who also irritates me at times. It is a CHOICE!! May we all make better choices beginning today!
W
This is something I truly struggle with. I always seem to speak my mind BEFORE I think about how it will affect the person I’m speaking to!!! I really want to do better!!! Thank you for reminding me to THINK before I speak and to keep my heart in the right place – focused on God & His word.
I love this Wendy! It can be a challenge sometimes to THINK before we speak, but it makes such a huge difference when we do! Praying my words would reflect my heart for Jesus and that when they don’t…I would return to Him quickly!
<3 Heather
PS. I already have your Proverbs study
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It is truly amazing how God works! He sends me just what I needed through the email I received from Crosswalk’s Encouragement for Today with your “Did I Really Say That?” devotion! God has been dealing with me for quite some time about my words and when I ready your article…God confirmed that I must focus on spending more time in His Word, praying for myself, my husband and daughter, that God will give us His words in living with a bright, strong-willed teenager. Thank you!
I grew up an army brat and was raised as a miniature soldier. Words were not soft or sweet they were orders barked. My siblings and I were often treated as if we were in basic training, degraded and compared to others. It was hurtful and for me, caused me to wear my heart on my sleeve but in order to protect it I became just as harsh, demanding, and my words just as vile. Now I am a mother of three beautiful children, 7/5/3mos, and I find I am hurting them as I was hurt with words growing up. This is a constant and very painful battle. I often take the same tone with my wonderful God-fearing husband. I know this is poison go their (and my) lives. I’ve prayed for, about, and over it any any every way I can and it hasn’t gotten any better. At this moment my mother has the two older kids for the summer and I am trying to work on myself while they are away so that I can be the tender hearted, sweet, godly mother they deserve. This message definitely hit home for me. Please pray with me that this area in my life is filled with love, peace, patience, and joy. I want to have a loving relationship with my children as they grow and them see me as the godly mother/wife they want to be/marry when they are grown. And I want my husband to know me as the woman of Proverbs 31 whom he will love AND cherish all the days of our lives, not the bitter angry woman who is spoken of in Proverbs 21:9,19.
Rachel,
I just love your heart to want to be God’s Proverbs 31 woman. He wants the same for you and will give you the desire of your heart. Seek hard after Him in this process. He will be faithful!! Praying for you now.
Blessings,
Wendy
Words are so important. I have so many words that I wished I could take back. We really need God’s Holy Spirit to help us with that. Thank you for your encouragement today and to help me to try and change my heart so my words can be a blessing.
When I was a child we used to say “Sticks and Stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me”. How untrue! Truthfully I can not recall from my childhood times of being struck by any stones or sticks or any other things but I certainly carry with me today the scars and wounds of unkind, angry, demeaning and hurtful words from years past. But I also carry with me those words spoken long ago in encouragement and praise…they are like a refreshing spring whose waters still bear fruit today. Word are powerful, powerful to destroy and powerful to build up. Words are one of our greatest ministry tools and that is why it is so important to use them in a Godly manner.
Adriana, thank you for reminding us that ENCOURAGING words, EDIFYING words are so very important. We tend to focus on what we should not say, but just as important is what we should say to build up and encourage one another. Even hard words can be spoken with a gentle and quiet spirit in love.
W
This is such an issue with me. And even worse, when the uglies do come out, I never apologize! I know I should but I can’t admit I’m wrong. Thank you for your on-target devotions this morning!
Janet, admitting we are wrong is HUGE in making amends for our words. I have to remind myself all the time that God exalts those who humble themselves, and He ABHORS a prideful heart!!! I pray for a tender and repentant heart for both of us!!!
W
This is so true. Our whole family needs to work on this one. I’m printing this out and sharing it with my husband and children. I pray that I can be an example of this even though I have fallen short so often in the past.
Love that you are sharing this with your family!!!
W
Hi Wendy,
I had a swell time reading your P31 devotion and the post in your blog.
Our words are indeed powerful and they have the power to affect lives and influence people in a positive way. It can also tear down and devastate lives. But i thank God that He has taught us to season our words with salt. I am also encouraged when I see how His words healed and caused people to truly repent. I really pray that as I tame and discipline my tongue, I will minister God’s grace to the needy and hurting people around me.
I would also like to add that receiving your e-book will be a very big blessing to me. I live in Ghana in Africa and it is very difficult to get wonderful books like yours or even buy it on the internet. I am praying that I’ll be one of the blessed people to win your book.
How wonderful to hear from a sister in Africa!!! And thank you for reminding us what God teaches about our speech in His Word…season our words with salt and model Jesus’ words. His words healed, forgave, restored, and brought people to repentance. Even when He had to speak hard truths, He spoke them in love and caused hearts to change.
Blessings,
Wendy
A daily challenge and I am not proud of myself when I fail to THINK before I speak. I don’t like being challenged when I tell someone what to do or what is expected of them, and when they do challenge me, then my tongue runs out of my mouth and starts slapping them up side the face…..not a pretty picture but that is almost how it comes across. It is a challenge and I do cause pain to others and I honestly don’t intend to do that. I have gotten better over the past few months, takes a lot of praying and staying obedient to to the Lord. I have a long way to go before I overcome this and I know it will remain a struggle for a long time, however, I do find hope in this devotion and I am noting so much of your advice in my journal. I would like to ask for prayer in this area of my life, it is not easy admitting that I have this problem. I will write Psalm 141:3 in my journal, on my heart and memorize it so that I can speak it verbally everyday. Thanks Wendy, you always have the right words at the right time.
Always love hearing from you Charlotte!!!
W
Ouch… and AMEN! James 3:10 “Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. my sisters, this should not be.” Please God, help all of us daughters to tame our tongues, for your Glory!
~blessings and victory~
Amen and amen!
W
Oh wow ~ what perfect timing for this message! I feel like I start over every Monday, resolving to be kinder, speak gentler, to co-workers and family alike. I think I generally do a better job at work, than at home.
I LOVE the verse from Psalm 141:3 “Set a guard over my mouth, O Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips.” I SO needed to hear this today. I’m going to print it out and put it on my computer monitor, so I can see it continuously throughout the day.
This is what I hope to model for my daughter. She is 8, and has reached that age where I know the time is coming (soon) that my words will be heard less, and the world’s words heard more. So I know that to be a role model to her, I need to spend more time in God’s word, so that the fruit I’m bearing will take root in her as well.
Thanks so much!
You are so wise to already see this with your daughter. May He fill you with the truths and promises you will need to parent her with Truth and in love over this next decade. It is such a challenge to raise a daughter, but with God, His Word, and His Holy Spirit, we are equipped for the task!!!! I encourage you over time to find verses you both can print out, discuss, pray, and memorize. It really helped me with both my kids.
Blessings,
Wendy
THANKS for these words of encouragement & Wisdom!! The acronym is a great help in remembering to THINK before speaking…easy to remember; but I also have it posted in a couple spots in my house as reminders!! Words are important & I try to remember to pray for God’s help in saying the right things. I want to be a blessing; not a hindrance to others! It’s a daily thing I work on…keeping my heart right & striving to be more like Jesus. Looking forward to this study time together…God Bless! <3 Loves, hugs, & prayers to you!
Wow this is perfect timing! Something I am focusing on as I study Proverbs this month and for the next 2 as well. I have MS and my cognitive functioning has been compromised and the shield most of use to filter our word before speaking is pretty much gone in me BUT GOD !!! I am praying with all my heart that He will give me back the godly woman I was( sort of, i was trying) before the MS wrecked my brain. I have lost friendships and my family is affected I know I need to THINK I love that True Necessary Helpful and Kind Oh Help me Jesus You are bigger than any dis ease and I am trusting you to help me. Thank the Lord for woman like you Wendy Be Blessed
Praying for you DIane. God is ABLE!! He will help you filter your words through the power of His Holy Spirit!!
Blessings,
Wendy
Oh how I needed this! I often fuss with my family about Ephesians 4:29, then I find myself being harsh. I want Jesus to control what comes out of my mouth, not me. Thank you again and have a blessed day!
PS. I hope I win your bible study:)
Thank you so much for reminding me the weight of my words. Psalm 141:3 is exactly what I need!
So true! A relationship in my life has been ruined because we both said hurtful words to each other. I don’t know if our relationship will ever be mended but I do try to watch my words more carefully…it can be so easy to slip up though.
Thanks for your writing!
Christina
Thanks Wendy…….This topic has been surrounding me everywhere I turn lately…….boy God is really hitting me over the head with this….It is so hard to stop and think before we speak. This is a struggle for me and I find myself thinking why did I just say that. I am doing Wendy Pope’s study of Psalm and I have been meditating on Psalm 19:14 May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer. I do this many many times throughout the day and the Lord has been faithful in helping me in this area.
Thank you Rhonda! I wrote this down to keep me with me.
I am also doing Wendy’s study and am leading a Psalms Bible study using her questions weekly and we have taken the challenge of this vs for a month! I think I should wear it on my forehead so I can constantly see it though!!
Wendy P is one of my dearest friends!! I love that you are doing her study. She is a wonderful Bible teacher. I too LOVE Psalm 19:14.
W
Hi,
Thanks for the words of wisdom. I said something to a co-worker/friend last week that once it was out…I wanted to crawl in a hole. I saw the hurt and really wanted to take it back. I said I was sorry as I truly was but the damage had already been done. Actions speak louder than words but words still hurt. God bless!
I have no idea how this was sent to me today but I’m guessing it was God sent. I sent off an email at 11:03 AM to some co-workers and to my boss. It was about internal miscommunication that may or may not cause problems to a client. I did ask God for guidance because I was angry but I didn’t want to come across as bitter.
What confuses me the most about taming my tongue is I want to be in control of what I need to say but I also don’t want to squash my feelings. This situation (I felt) needed to be addressed because it could have an adverse effect. But again I don’t want anyone to read between the lines that I’m thinking their idiots.
At home, I know how to bridle my tongue. I can remain quiet when I’m being attacked or someone is expressing their thoughts. That’s only effecting me. But at work, it is a totally different story. Sometimes if you don’t say something, it could come back to bite you. And if you do say something, you look like the complainer.
So I say all that (I am venting) to say, thank you for sending this to me. I needed it because I was about to fly off the handle. I think I need to pray about giving me the right things to say. For the Lord to guide me in saying things that are factual and honest yet saying it gently.
Thank you again!
That is a GREAT prayer!!! God will be faithful to give you the words you need because He wants to be honored and glorified in your life…especially at your workplace. You are His witness and may be the only way some of them may ever really “meet” Christ.
W
Wendy, right after I read your devotion for today and checked out your blog, I was looking at Groupon deals and found this website…and thought of you….http://dalidecals.com/Think-Before-You-Speak-Quote-Printed-Wall-Decals-Stickers-Graphics.htm… the writing is on the wall
Thankful for your devotion; though it cut deep, it was entirely necessary and so very helpful! I never thought about those nagging moments as being controlling or manipulative; thanks for putting that into perspective and letting me see how sinful that behavior really is.
http://dalidecals.com/Think-Before-You-Speak-Quote-Printed-Wall-Decals-Stickers-Graphics.html
Sorry- left off the ‘l’ in previous post address…sigh! Hopefully this link will get you there!
I love that you sent the link with the THINK acronym. I can’t remember where I first saw it, but it was years ago when I was writing my Proverbs study. It has stuck with me ever since. Never saw the “Inspiring” word before, but it fits so well!!
Thanks,
Wendy
What a timely devotion and all these comments today! Just yesterday I was sitting watching as my daughter and her boyfriend were texting each other back and forth with hurtful words! I kept trying to tell her say this or say that – trying to instill LOVE within her words but they both were so hurt by what was texted – not outwardly said. We have become a society of words by texting not speaking! I am so afraid that the young people of today will never learn correct communication skills because it is so easy to text words that you would not “say” if you were actually speaking to that person, I have become very keen to that and if I send out a text or email will read it again and more times than not I hit delete and start over. My words have hurt many people through the years – words that I spoke about others came back to me by them being told by others what I said. OUCH! A friend of mine told me he had a friend one time that actually would wait before he spoke. When he asked him about it he said God had convicted him of his words and he always thought about what he was going to say first and then spoke! What a lesson we could all learn from that!
Yes, we definitely can learn from him. I SO long to do this…and sometimes I am successful. But more often than not, I think I speak before i think.
Your texting message is also VERY imporitant…one we should all keep foremost in our mind. Same can be said for e-mail. We tend to say harsher words via the written word because we cannot see or hear the other person.
W
The Lord led me to this! Oh how I needed to have this put in my heart TODAY!
Thank you for your words of encouragement and wisdom. I woke up this morning over whelmed with duties around the house and I immendiately lectured my kids about how much I clean up after them and that they need to be more responsible. My children were frustrated and in tears,making me feel awful about what I had just said. I needed your encouragement and the Word to re-focus my attention on what is really important and that is the three littles miracles God had given to me. Lord, I pray for a guard over my mouth and that only words of encouragement and love come from a very tiny part of my body but a powerful one, my tongue.
Thank you so much! This is something that I’ve dealt with for a long time & I’m happy to say that the Lord has been right there walking with me, guiding me the whole way to make the tough changes that need to be made. This is a daily process & something I work on constantly. It has improved greatly but I do have to be aware of it at all times because it’s so easy to slip right back into the old habits. My daughter who was there & got to be apart of (she began changing also) the changing process will be the 1st to call me out & say Mom “your starting to Lecture”. LOL This is my cue that I’m being controling & condeming! I love how someone said earlier that she was raised this way & wants to change for her children ~ breaking the cycle is a hard thing to do but so wonderful to see the changes it makes in their lives! It’s never to late to start doing better ~ learning not to beat myself up after slipping but admitting my mistake & asking for forgiveness allows me to feel so much better about myself & give me the encouragement to try again! Thanks again for the encouragement!!
How wonderful that you and your daughter have worked out this little system…almost like a warning system. It shows what a humble heart you have. It is a wonderful example for all of us!!
Blessings,
Wendy
What a great blog. Thank you for sharing! It seems like I can never be reminded enough to think before speaking!
I’m looking forward to joining one of your on-line studies soon!
We would LOVE to have you join us. We have an incredible group of women from all over the world!!!
W
Thank you for these words of encouragement. I’ve been convicted that although I have made progress in this area over the years, I still have miles to go. However, it is only by grace that the tongue can be controlled. Let’s keep encouraging one another to submit this area to the Lord and trust Him to work in and through us.
I have 5 sons. I. am. supposed. to. control. them. Right?!!! Such a hard thing for me as a mom to be balanced. Teaching my sons to do a good job with their chores, but not being so controlling that they have to do everything MY way. But also, making myself NOT give up when I get upset and overwhelmed with them, which makes me not have any control at all! Oh, boy, oh boy! (X5)!!! LOL Its a hard think learning to encourage, not discourage as you are training boys. After raising boys for 15 years,(and I’m only 1/2 way through!) one thing I have truly learned is that they are just “little” men—inside and out! If I don’t hold my tongue and speak kindly to them, they are just going to shut me me off!
So true, Cona. It is a balance, and with the Lord’s help, we can be successful in balancing both!!! He equips those he calls to be mothers. Our equipping is found in His Word and in the wisdom of those who have gone before us. I learn so much from the older godly moms in my circle of friends.
W
Oh my goodness… is this ever me! Reading this post today has made me cry and feel very sad. I have done this same thing to my family on so many occasions. Not because I feel I need to control anything, but because I like things neat and feel my family doesn’t always respect this. I guess I’ve got a lot to learn.
Thank you for giving me some food for thought.
Blessings to you.
Definitely got “hit” right upside the head with this devotion. Made me think of a conversation I recently had with my adult son when he told me I was being so negative. Ouch! I need to start asking myself these same questions. Thank you for this reminder.
I have been empowered by what you have written and by what comments have been added.
I found it interesting that not only does this apply to people but to Our God. So often in the past I have rattled off a list of things in a prayer. I have said them in a hurry, or said them to bring something off of my shoulders into God’s hand… all of that is good.
But, in the last few years I learned something from my friend Petra’s husband…a wonderful German man. It was such a blessing to me. This couple was given to me by God as my adoptive family in this foreign land of Germany. God has such surprising story lines… the missionary being ministered to by those she is ministering to…
This man taught me to be still and quiet myself before speaking to the God most High. At first, when I was at their home I thought he had nothing to say, we would bow our heads and he would say, Let’s pray – … … … total silence for several seconds – sometimes minutes. Then I learned that he was getting quiet and bringing himself before the Throne of God with a humbled heart. What powerful prayer times these have been. And what a mighty learning curve for this mutating missionary!!!! And once again – may God be glorified in our weakness.
One more thing – as a teacher in the states, I often had children that would say ugly things about other children. The hurt child would run to me and say: So and So said Such and Such… I learned a very powerful lesson early on from my mother: Check their words. Think about what they have said. Is it true? If it is not true, let it go. If it is true, change it!
I found these invaluable – not only for myself and my own growth, but for my own children and those that I have mentored.
Thank you for shairng such great words of wisdom!! Being still before the Lord is one of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves as we prepare for our day. It is when we will hear His voice and when He will fill us with more of Him. He loves to see us sitting at His feet…worshipping, praying, resting, and listening.
I also appreciate your last few words, “Is it true? If it is not true, let it go. If it is true, change it!” This is great.
W
Wow, your words hit me square between the eyes today. Such a great reminder to think before I speak. I am in a situation now where words have been twisted and if they had been spoken in a different matter it wouldn’t have happened at all. Thank you for this awesome reminder.
Wendy, you are so right. I had so many yes answers when it should have been no. I feel like I am a bad mom and wife. I just feel like crying today. I try hard but I just get so overwhelmed at times. Thank you for doing this for us. I need to put a lot of things in perspective and forget about things that really do not matter.
God gave you the perfect words to send to me (and obviously many other women agree) today. I struggle with this “word problem” way too often. Thank you!
This is definitely an area I need to work on. I am fairly good about not saying bad words around others, but haven’t gotten them out of my thoughts. Heard them so much at a couple jobs I had that without wanting to or realizing it, I picked them up. Also need to watch what I say with certain people in my life. Tend to say something about someone (such as my mother) to someone else (knows situation & won’t pass on) & then end up saying I need to shut up. So definitely area still need lots of work.
Thank you for this reminder today. This is something I am always working on, especially in how I speak to my young kids.
Thank you so much for such a great reminder! If I were honest this is my biggest struggle in my marriage. As a young mother and pastors wife it is so easy to be selfish and controlling when your at home. I feel torn in a hundred directions in ministry sometimes and I feel like my home is the place I have a little “control” but I use it so wrongly most of the time. Home should be the place where our husbands & children find refuge from hurtful words and attitudes, but sometimes home is a battleground from the words we speak so freely. I am thankful for the Lords equipping power to obey what His Word commands on how to use our tongues. Thanks again for your encoragement in my life today!
Kristi, thank you for sharing so honestly about being a pastor’s wife. I never thought about this before, but it makes total sense. Praying God will put a guard at your mouth and a sentry at your lips and help you to speak words of love, encouragment, grace, and mercy. And when you do have to discipline and correct, may He help you speak truth in love. He will be faithful!!!
W
I came to your blog through the Proverbs 31 Ministries-encouragement for today. It was as though you were a fly on my kitchen wall! I journal for a prayer group that I attend and consistently ask for prayers for grace. Grace in my parenting, grace in being a wife and grace in my relationships with co-workers, family and friends. I have been given a not so Godly gift of sarcasm, passed down to me for at least three generations (that I know of). I have suffered with the realization that not everyone “gets” sarcasm. Not everyone finds my speech as witty and entertaining as my family did growing up. And it certainly does not fit with the Biblical definition of Grace. The brunt of my sarcasm is most often those I love most. I am learning, struggling, and praying daily for God to guide my words and actions to reflect those of His son.
Erica, I live with a husband who has your same “gift” of sarcasm. Sometimes it is so funny, but othertimes it is a great source of stress and hurt in our family for both me and my children. We have learned to tell him with kind words when his words bite and hurt, and he has really been trying to stay away from those comments. It’s wonderful that you recognize this same thing and are praying for guidance to help you. I know God will be faithful!! But don’t lose that gift of sarcasm. It brings lots of joy and laughter into our house!
W
I feel like the reason you had to post this particular devotion today was for ME!! My husband and I have been struggling in our relationship these days. The strain of a sick child and financial concerns have made us both act very selfishly and yes, even childlike, I am sad to say. Yesterday was not a good day for us. We started out with a minor financial “discussion” that got out of control and escalated way beyond where the conversation began. Before all was said and done (and now that I look back on it, pretty much all was said), we had both said some really hurtful things. The apologies have been said and all is well, but we both know that it is often hard to forget those things that we have said. I plan to share this devotion with my husband along with my hearts desire to be more obedient to God’s word in my communications. Thank you for sharing your heart today and for allowing God to use you in a special way in my life.
I love the suggestions for controlling out tongues. This is something I have been battling with especially at work after losing my twins. I feel so strongly about life and when that is challenged by mere stupidity or lack of education, I am often tempted to lose by tongue… Quickly to I might add. Thank you Wendy for your encouraging devotion.
Wendy,
Thank you so very much for all the scriptures that show me how to tame my tongue. I have been married for 23 years & we have a 21 year old son serving in the US Navy. You would think after all this time i would be able to speak with the proper tone & words to both my husband & son. But I still haven’t got the hang of it yet. Your posting today is a start & I want to thank you for all the insight that hits the nail on the head in God’s word. I’m excited to have the Lord walk me through this problem & finally get the solution under my belt! While I consider myself to be a fledgling, having been saved in 2005, I too consider myself to be a sponge! So again Wendy, thank you!
Warm regards,
Kathie
Just yesterday some of the meanest words I could have ever spoken came from my mouth (via text) I knew as I was typing it my blood began to boil and my body literally started shaking with anger. I could have simply granted the person on the recieving end Grace, but I did not. I have apologized and repented to God and plan to do to the same to the person that the message was directed too. She used words to hurt me 2 months ago and yesterday as we discussed the incident the feelings of hurt, anger, disappointment, and belief became so fresh it was almost like reliving the orignal moment. The difference is at the orginal moment I granted her grace. I stepped away from my phone and I prayed about it. In an efforts to clear the air the incident was brought up again and after my feelings of hurt were acknowledged my friend still said she would make the comment all over again and that’s when I lost it. I have never been so disappointed. I had the perfect opportunity to let my light shine. To show the grace and mercy so often granted toward me. And I did not. I let MY feelings get the best of me, it took 5 seconds to spew out a life time of bitterness and anger. Please continue to pray with me with taming my tongue.
I pray for complete forgiveness and restoration. Because you have such a tender and repentant heart, I know God will be faithful to do this!!!
Blessings,
Wendy
Thank you for this awesome word, I so wish there are words that I can “un – say”,
I said TOO MUCH, in the heat of the moment, you see I was so angry, and now after some cooling off time, I regret the words I spoke , our words are forever echoing throughout eternity, now I am saddened, I can never take them back,
THANK YOU for the prayer, Lord help me to think before I speak and place a guard on my mouth❤
I really appreciate this blog on taming the tongue. I believe this is the main “secret” to happy, peaceful relationships. I’m still learning this truth.
Karen C
I am so thankful for today’s “Encouragement For Today” For a long time I have asked myself the same question. “Did I really say that?” After much prayer and journaling the Lord revealed to me I had let my fear of abandonment create a stronghold in my thinking. Having grown up in foster care, I was always thinking “I won’t be here long, and someone else will leave me too” and I had brought this way of thinking into my relationship w/ my husband and would speak from a place of these intense emotions, when I felt fear, anger, or insecurities. I am now praying more before I speak, and replacing the fear with the word of God. As he promised to never leave me or forsake me. However, I have to be REALLY careful whenever negatives thoughts come to my mind and right away begin to pray the word to combat the enemy. To God be the Glory.
Hi Liz,
Yes, love the verse that directs us to take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ!!! It goes to the heart of what you are saying.
Thanks for sharing.
Blessings,
Wendy
I so thankful for your devotional on taming the tongue
Blessings Kare
What you have so beautifully put in your blog today is something that is useful and practical for everyone. I don’t know of anyone who at one time or another doesn’t need help taming their tongue. That is why in the Bible it states that it is so hard to manage. It is amazing that something so small and seemingly insignificant can get us into so much trouble. I am looking forward to reading and “practicing” more of exercises that will help me to tame my tongue. It is never too late to teach an old dog new tricks. Thank you for sharing.
Carolyn
What a blessing to have this appear in my inbox just 20 short hours from my last “it’s just the way I am speech”. This post will be one I save as a reminder that God did not create me that way. He created me in His image to be a loving and kind daughter, sister, wife and mother.
Thank you!
Well said! How quickly our tongue lashes out before we are able to think about our words. Something to meditate about! Thanks again!
Hi, thank-you for your teaching. Wow, this is REALLY AN EYE OPENER!!! When I read it, it felt like God was SPEAKING STRAIGHT TO ME….COS I DO IT TOO, I AM CONTROLLING & HURTFUL & HAVE BEEN STRUGGLING WITH THIS & TRYING TO CHANGE FOR YEARS!!!!
I pray that through this teaching, my journaling of my words this week (as confronting as it is) & with your tips, that I FINALLY will change. I’ve said SORRY tooooooo many times, only to again HURT my family with MY IDEALS & MY WAYS & my mouth!!!! Thank-you for helping me see so many truths. Today I start afresh, KNOWING GOD IS FOR ME & STILL LOVES ME DESPITE MY ATTITUDE. Sincerely repentive, Teena.
You are so welcome!! So thankful God used the message He laid on my heart to speak directly to you!
W
Thank you Wendy! This is an area I struggle with. I appreciate the verses to meditate on as well. I alos liked how you said “The truth is, it is not who I am. It is who I am used to being.” So true.
thanks for the give-a-way!
Wow! I can so identify with what you said in the Encouragement for Today devotion about wanting to be in control and doing things my way. There are so many times that I open my mouth and say things when I know I should just keep it closed. The area that I struggle the most in is when I am riding along in the car with my husband. I cannot keep from correcting him when he drives and telling him all the things that he is doing wrong……..sigh! I am going to put the verses up on my bathroom mirror to help me to think about using my words more wisely. Thanks so much for the encouragement that we can change because we have a big God on our side to help us do just that!
Recently, my husband’s children came to live with us. This is a huge adjustment for all of us. They miss their mom.She will soon have supervised visits with them. I mentally promise myself that I won’t make a fuss about the dishes, laundry, or the amount of food they consume. I try. I fail. I try again. The messes get on my nerves, as does the running in and out of doors. Not to mention the lack if privacy. You see, my children are adults, or teenagers, who know my rules. They font slam doors, break things, bother things that don’t belong to them,etc. These children have been neglected among other things. I am glad they are here. I am. But I find myself correcting constantly. I have thought on this very subject. I have,asked God to help me,think before I speak. Lord help me be the example you want me to be,and show them you in all I do.
Please excuse the ill placed words.. I am on my phone and cooking dinner for my family at the moment.. Thanks so much Wendy for sharing!!!
I join you in your prayer…that you will be a godly mother and mentor for these children…that you will shine His Light and Love. Praying He will give you the words to teach them by speaking truth in love!!
W
Thank you so much for the post and devo. I have a hard time controlling my tongue with my family. I loved your use of Phil 4:13 (my fave verse). I also like Ps 39:1 “I said, I will take heed to my ways, that I sin not with my tongue: I will keep my mouth with a bridle…”
Blessings!
This devotional was truly heaven sent. I have a lot to pray & think over.
~Blessings~
God’s timing is SO perfect! Just yesterday, I said something to my sweet husband that set off a blame game between the two of us – and the bickering ensued (we’re in the process of moving, so it is a stressful enough time for ALL involved without the added stress of hurtful words). I’ve also found myself being a bit snippy with my two beautiful girls, as well. I prayed last night for the Lord to PLEASE help guard my mouth and speak kind words. So, you’re Encouragement for Today devotion was like a message straight from above, telling me how to get my act together. Thank you so much. I am thrilled that He guided me to your blog – I very much look forward to reading more of your posts and learning more about God’s Word and diving deeper into my relationship with Him. Blessings to you!
So excited he brought you here too!! I look forward to getting to studying God’s Word with you.
W
After reading this topic,I can finally fully make-up this message,”It’s not what you swallow that pollutes your life, but what you vomit up”–because what we say starts from the heart where it can be polluted with anger, lies,evil arguments and other wrongful things( that can be regretful and haunting). Slowing our speech and anger isn’t easy at times, but with God’s words anything is possible. Thank you for the words of encouragement!
Philippians 4:13!!!!
W
This is a daily struggle for me. Sometimes an hourly struggle. I hate it. Sadly, I usually end up feeling defeated most days. I know that it was a Divine appointment for me to read this today. Thank you for your insights today!!
What timely words! Thank you.
Oh how I struggle with this! I am a mother of two young children (5&21mo) and on those hard days (and there are many of them) when my patients is thin I think those same words. I feel like I have no control of myself or my words. When I become frustrated with my children and I’m completely overwhelmed my poor husband ends up getting slaughtered by words. It is these times I want to retreat and find quiet place, but even this is difficult to do especially when I need it the most. I recognize my need to be in Gods word but the needs of my “needy” children just seem to take priority over much of my time. I grab onto the brief moments I have but it never seems to be enough.
Thank you for sharing this. I have recently been so encouraged by your devotions and blog. I have even been “slowly” working through your study Hidden Joy. I am finding that we share many personality traits. God is truly using you! You have been a blessing and encouragment!
Melissa,
Persevere, sweet friend. I remember those times with two young children and feeling that I had no time for myself…especially quiet time. I encourage you to find ways to invite your kids into quiet time. For your five year old maybe find a Christian video for him/her to watch. I bought a few and they LOVED them and would ask to watch them over and over again. Maybe have him/her watch that during naptime for your other child. Then you can sit by yourself with your Bible and ENJOY a time of rest and refueling with your Father in Heaven. Or maybe give your five year old a kids Bible and invite them to have a quiet time the same time you are. There are ways to be creative!!! It does not have to be long…just long enough to draw you into your Father’s presence and let Him minister to and speak to you.
Blessings,
Wendy
Wendy,
Thank you so much for encouragement and giveaway! Recently I have also been encouraged by our friend Glynnis Whitwer and her organizational inspirations. This week I finally sat don’t and put some organization in our summer with a schedule. I scheduled in my quiet time during my daughters( 21month) nap. I explained to my son (5year) that this is our quiet time. He is allowed to do a quiet activity or movie for 30 min during this time. After ( his reward) we have some time together just him & I to do something fun!
So I guess we are on the same page. God has been patient and he has led me to you wonderfully encouraging ladies to help me get to a better place! Thank you again for your prayer and encouragement!
Melissa
Hi Wendy,
In recent days I have asked God to reveal himself to me and to help me find the right words to say to my 22 year old son. Without a doubt reading your blog today has been part of God’s plan for me to think before I speak to him about a formidable decision he is facing in his life. I want so badly to share my 30 day challenge with him, but I have made the decision to wait for the moment that I feel acceptance of my words will be received as encouragement.. I am so thankful to God for his remarkable dwelling in your heart because your words have softened mine!
Please pray for peace for my son-he truly needs it.
Edie Clavelli
Edie, I do pray for God to give your son a tender heart. And I pray for God through His Holy Spirit to give you the words and the perfect timing to speak to your son. I pray He would be recptive to your words.
blessings,
Wendy
Thank you for this much needed devotion. What has helped me is memorizing verses dealing with the tongue.Amazing how the Lord will bring a verse to mind just before I go to say something or part take in some gossip.
Hiding God’s Word in your heart is KEY to taming our tongue. Thanks for sharing a real life example of this for us.
Blessings,
Wendy
Wow! I was just talking to a friend of mine today about this. I’ve had a problem for years with my words and tone of my speech. I really need this devotion today. I love the prayer verse.
Thank you !!!
Oh how timely this message is! My husband just stopped me from responding to a text I received because he knew it would not have been nice! His help gave me the perfect opportunity to practice giving him words of affirmation. I’m calling this a 2-4-1!! Yea me!!
Love that your husband encourages you in this!!! What a blessing for your marriage. You both set a wonderful example for us.
W
Thank you Wendy for the opportunity to win this wonderful book! My toes were stepped all over in this devotion, today
I just prayed the same prayer yesterday for help in taming my tongue. If I don’t win……I’ll certainly be buying 
I so appreciate your honesty with us. This really struck a chord with me as I just finished yelling at my kids for the nth time since they got home from camp. I am going to commit this to prayer that I will control my tongue and just wait long enough to actually think before I spew. I would really love your ebook.
Thanks Wendy
Thank you so much for this post. It really was perfectly timed, and it was exactly what I needed to hear. I have recently come back to my Christian roots after spending several years going it on my own. I have also recently gotten married, and have moved countries to be with my husband. With all of the newness I am struggling…especially as I don’t yet know anyone in my new country. My husband and I had a rough weekend – and I know a big part of it was my lack of “taming my tongue”. I have been feeling horrible all morning as I know I have hurt my husband with some of the things I have said. In a way, I’ve felt like a failure – allowing my emotions to control me and what I say. Thank you for reminding me that God is for me and that He wants me to succeed and that he will help me. Thank you also for reminding me that I am not alone.
Rachel, the fact that your heart is so tender that you “feel” the hurt you have caused is a GREAT sign. Your heart is aware of your words, and that is the first step to taming your tongue. God will be faithful to lead you to transforming your speech as you seek Him in His Word and prayer.
W
Thanks for the reminder and helpful advice on taming our tongues!
Wow! I felt like I was reading a page from my own life while reading today’s devotion from you at Proverbs 31 today. I am really, really, really, struggling with my “filter”. I have never had any problem telling people what I thought, giving advice, putting someone in “their place”. Well, let me tell you how these traits do NOT fit into my walk with Christ!! I often (daily) feel torn, guilty, frustrated and so very unworthy of the forgiveness I ask for because of my choice of words or the tone that I speak the words in. I do not understand why I can hear that still small voice saying “That’s enough” “Don’t say that” “Silence is best right now” BE QUIET!” “Enough!” seriously the list goes on & on – unfortunately so does my mouth! So if I can hear the voice, why can’t I obey it? Why do I feel like I MUST have the last word, the solution, the idea, the witty banter, etc?? Honestly I think it comes from years of feeling like nobody listened or that they didn’t care about anything I had to say or the thought that what I said was perceived as ridiculous – whatever the root of the problem is, it is a very deep root that I battle with everyday, overcompensating by talking too much or speaking my mind when I really should hush. Your blog has hit home with me & I will be printing a copy of this and wallpapering my office walls with it, keeping a copy in the car and anywhere else I can find
Thanks so much for sharing this!!
It’s like Paul writes in Romans, we know what we ought to do, but we just can’t seem to do it. Lesley, be enocuraged because even Paul, one of the greatest men of God, felt the way you and I feel. But God provides a way for us to be victorious in this battle through the power of His Holy Spirit. So when you feel defeated and like things will never change, REMEMBER you CAN do ALL things through CHRIST who STRENGTHENS you!!! He will be faithful!!!
Blessings,
Wendy
Wendy, Wow! I can totally relate to this and am convicted. Thank you for sharing so openly and honestly with us.
I especially appreciate your statement in the P31 devo about this is “how we are used to being”. ouch! That is so true,
God bless you sister as you serve our King. And, I would sure love to have your Bible study girl!
Love, Hester Christensen
Wendy,
I heard a story where a dad took his son outside to hammer nails into a piece of wood to help him vent his anger. When he was finished, he told him to pull out all the nails. Then the dad explained the exercise.
The wood represented the person who is the object of his anger, the nails were his angry words. The pulling of the nails was an apology, and the resulting holes were the damage done from angry words.
The point being that forgiveness can be extended to us when we spout off, but we do lasting hurt when we don’t take account of our words.
I learned this lesson the hard way when my first husband left me after ten years of marriage. Thank and praise God, He brought another man into my life. Things have not been easy for us, but after fifteen years, we have learned to treat each other with grace and respect–and that has certainly upped the harmony level in our home!
Thanks for this much-needed word, Wendy!
Blessings,
Selena
Wow!!! What an amazing visual reminder of the truths we are talking about today. Thank you so much for sharing this with us!!! And I love that your story has a happy ending and that God has given you a wonderful godly man with whom to share your life.
W
My greatest talent…open mouth and insert foot! I have such trouble with my tongue, especially when I’m tired. I have kept several Proverb verses close heart. It is a constant challenge.
You example of the words you spoke to your husband were so convicting because I too often say these “nagging” type of words sweetened with “please” and “thank you” but nagging nonetheless. Thank you for your “think” tips and reminding me to ask God for the help I need.
Great message Wendy. I so often don’t control my tongue and say things I regret. I so want God to help me have conversation seasoned with grace and kindness. I especially liked your reminder about examining the heart first in order to tame the tongue. Thank you!
My problems with my tongue often come with those I love most.. my husband and my son. I am quick to respond even though I KNOW that is not what God wants from me!
Hi Wendy,
Were you a fly on the wall at my house today?? LOL so many parts of your post today hit home for me. First and foremost I asked God to lead me where he wanted me to read today and it did speak about the fruits in that part of the bible I was reading. Then I did have a confrontation w/ a family member that I am not proud of. Even though everything I said was true, it wasn’t necessary and I really wish I would have handled the situation differently. I was hurt, this was a family member that I helped out for the past few months and they were saying some very untrue, and hurt fulls things to me and about my family!! I wish I would have just done or said NOTHING!!! At first I didn’t let it bother me and just said I will continue to pray for you…. then they just kept on and kept on…. and I well…. I gave in to Satan and started lashing right back. I have asked God to forgive me and in all reality this family member was so intoxicated that they probably won’t even remember…. But I will. I know I am a work in progress, and am not perfect but dang it sure does sting when we get is oh so wrong!! I know that I am just learning and getting closer to God and My Fruit is good and producing!! Thanks for being you Wendy!! I am so Glad that I have found your blog. God Bless!!!!
How wonderful that God used what He laid on my heart to meet you right where were. He knows what we need when we need it!!! Rest in knowing that the moment you asked forgiveness, God forgave you. And carry with this memory with you the next time so that you will be more able to think before you speak. God wants us to succeed in this endeavor, and He will be faithful to help us!!
W
Thank you for reminding me that what comes out of my mouth is influenced by what is or isn’t in my heart. I find that when I start my day in the Word and in prayer my day is always better, but then why don’t I start everyday like that…because of the flesh. Every time I allow my flesh to win over listening to the Holy Spirit’s prompting my loved ones always suffer and I’m filled with shame and guilt. Oh I’m so thankful for my Jesus, he loves me and welcomes me back into is warm embrace when I have strayed, isn’t He great like that? I’m thankful to be a “weak” sheep be because I have a STRONG shepherd.
Amen!!!
W
I’m currently living in India, which really shouldn’t be an excuse, but let’s face it, life over here is difficult. It seems with the Indian culture I’m a little more apt to not spew things out of my mouth…mainly because I don’t know the words to convey what I’m thinking. But that hasn’t spared my American roommate. Sometimes I find that I’m so frustrated with things that are happening around me that I let loose on her. Funny, or not…as I started reading this, it thought, oh, she needs to read this, she says some hurtful things. But it was really I who needed to read it. I think, the next time I return home from a frustrating day, I may just take a few minutes in my room and prayerfully vent my frustrations to my Father in heaven. What a novel idea. Thank you so much for your divine words.
Isn’t it funny how God works that way? We think what we hear is for the OTHER person and really it is for us!! But we have to have tender, open, humble hearts to receive that. You clearly do!! So I know God will do a work in your life to help you tame your tongue.
Love having a friend in India!!
Blessings,
Wendy
Thank you for the encouragement. I could really identify with your story about the clean kitchen. I feel so bad when I nag my kids and hubby about keeping things clean. I regret many things I say to them and really need to pray more about taming my tongue. I need God’s help! It’s impossible to do in my own.
Great blog post Wendy! There is life and death in the tongue through the words we speak. I’ve been working on my big mouth over the years. When working to tame my tongue I try to keep my mind on the cross and remember to speak in love at all times. It’s not easy by far especially when I’m frustrated, upset or stressed. In those moments I try to remember to always go to my heavenly father about whatever I’m dealing with first. If I do that I find a sense of peace and that keeps my tongue from lashing out based on emotions rather than THINKING.
Wendy thank you so much for your teachings they have been such a blessing and inspiration in my life. Because of them I have began a new journey with my God and a transformation that can only come from Him. What an awesome word/teaching, I wish I had found/read this many years ago, it would have saved me from so many heart aches and disappointments But thanks be to God it’s never too late. I will began to apply this teaching in my life and believe God for the transformation of my heart. I believe He will help me to cultivate a heart that produces a tamed tongue.
Briana, you bless me more than you will know as I read your words that the messages God has laid on my heart have helped begin a deeper journey with God for you. That is the prayer of my heart every time I write!!! Keep persevering. God will be faithful.
W
Wow. This writing could have been penned by my heart. I do the exact same thing and so want to change. Thank you for blessing and inspiring me.
This was just what I needed to hear. As a mother of a 4 year old boy I am constantly finding myself in disbelief of how I talk to him sometimes. I tend to raise my voice to him over the silliest things. I need to remember to pray that God wil help me tame my tongue when it comes to speaking to my loved ones!
That’s really a very helpful devotion for me for today. Thanks so much.
IT IS SO HARD TO DO WHAT’S RIGHT AND I STRUGGLE WITH HOLDING MY TONGUE. I’VE BE HURT SO MUCH VERBALLY BY MY SPOUSE AND I TEND TO LASH OUT AT TIMES. i THANK YOU FOR THESE WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT AND THESE VERSES OF PROMISE AS TO WHAT GOD REQUIRES OF ME. GOD BLESS KEEP ENCOURAGING.
Wow, Wendy! Good stuff and soooo timely! I’m really struggling with my 13 yr old son these days as he flexes his young muscles and hurts me with his tone and words – and I am not always able to resist firing back! Thank you for the perfect words and verses! Gonna post them on the mirror as they help show us ALL God’s heart in how we are to treat one another! The two younger brothers are so vulnerable right now – watching and learning from their big bro & how we respond to him! Need God’s Word and Wisdom EVERY day!! I’m so excited to read “All Things…. ! “
Three boys!!! Wow!! Praying God will lead your every decision as you parent. Remember He equips those He calls, and He called you to mother these three boys. He will be faithful to lead you as you are faithful to seek Him.
We love having a freind from Germany!!!]
W
I pray to God daily for help in curbing my razor-sharp tongue. Knowing I cut my family with my words doesn’t seem to stop me from doing it almost on a daily basis. Unfortunately, the deep wounds I leave on them are physically invisible, so I can’t “see” the damage I do. But I know in my heart, because God’s quiet voice tells me. My heart aches over it; I think that’s why your post resounded so loudly in my ears. God’s word resounds also: “Set, O Lord, a guard over my mouth; keep watch at the door of my lips.” (Psalm 141:3)
With God ALL things are possible. He will help you soften your razor-sharp tongue!!
Blessings,
W
Thank you so much for posting this!!!!!! I think this is something almost all of us can relate to!!!! I know I struggle with this. I am getting better at letting go of some things, but I have a really tough time in other areas. I have a hard time asking for my hubby’s help with things when he doesn’t do them when I want them done!!!! I have also related this to my children. We made a little poster for each of them to post in their room about “THINK”. We used Inspiring /Encouraging for “I”. No we can use that to guage our speaking behavior with each other – helps out wonders!!!!!!! Teaches them (and me) to truly take every thought captive!!!!!!! Thanks again for the great resources – would love to win your book!!!! Staci
Love that you made a poster for their rooms!! Kids really love to please and obey when given the opportunity. I know God will bless your heart of obedience to walk in His ways and teach His ways to your children.
Blessings,
Wendy
Thank you! I so needed this going into my day. I am filing a civil suit against a tenant this morning. I had the heart to go in and show her she was wrong, and make her pay up! I probably would say something ugly. I will pray to hold my tongue and not let anything ugly spew from my mouth. I will pray and repeat these words of “THINK” as I am in court today. I can do all things through Christ witch strengthens me!
Wendy… I LOVE this! It amazes me that words are like a surgeon’s scalpel… they have the power to devastate if used incorrectly… and they have the power to heal a heart. Your “please don’t…” illustration really hit home with me! Father, help me to be wise with the words I speak. Please sharpen me and use me- to heal hearts by affirmation, and to bring others to You by speaking the truth in love. In Jesus’ Name!
I already have All Things Wise and Wonderful! Whoever wins it will be so blessed!!!
Thank you for the devotion…it struck a chord with me. Challenged to seek God’s guidance on not only word choice, but attitude of the heart.
I just was browsing your website and stumbled on this post. The acronym “THINK” is great. I teach at a high school, and I’m sure you know how quickly teens can blurt out something that is hurtful. I’m going to create a poster of this for my room and refer to it as needed!
Today’s topic fits so well with Hebrews 4:12. That particular verse has stood out so many times in my recent journey to finally have a relationship with my Father. This has resulted in a compulsion to learn Hebrew so I can have a better understanding of His Word. My daughter had taken a course in college on the Old Testament, using a Hebrew-English version of the Tanakh. After doing an online search for resources, it turns out there’s an excellent site that provides a whole course in learning Hebrew for Christians; in fact, its link is http://www.hebrew4christians.com.
I want to thank you, also, for your 30-day challenge. Its so easy to become lazy in my reading although I talk with God throughout each day. I can feel my spiritual life blossoming with its daily feeding of God’s Word.
I have been married 2 1/2 years. Before that, I spent all my time alone. I was a home body and just didn’t get out much or spend much time with people. When I all of a sudden had to share my home with someone else, I was floored to hear some of things I would say out loud. It took me about a year of being married to him before I really started trying to watch my tongue. I love my husband so much and he deserves to be built up, not nagged and torn down. He is really good at choosing his words carefully, which makes me feel even worse when I don’t. He never lashes back at me. He just responds in a kind way which reveals that my words weren’t kind. Unfortunatley, I caused quite a bit of damage to my husbands self esteem in that first year. He began to feel like everything he did was wrong (something his mother had always done to him too). I was always nagging. I am doing my best to be different and I feel like in the last 3 months I can see him begin to feel appreciated. I pray the Lord will help me to continue to change and help me to choose the words I say to everyone more carefully. I’m beginning to be a little more outgoing so now I’m finding my words to others aren’t as kind as I’d like either. I just don’t think before I speak… but the Lord is changing me and I believe that one day I will be one of those people that have only good things to say and I will master (as much as possible) keeping my mouth shut and my opinion to myself. I will be an encourager. I will help others to believe in themselves. With God…. ALL Things are possible.
This is SO true. I almost lost my husband due to my words and actions. My heart was so not in the right place. I can not share our story here. But let me just say that when I allowed God back into my life, things changed. We are now closer than we’ve been in years. I still struggle with my words and actions. But remembering that all things are possible through our Lord gives me the strength I need. If you are reading this and also struggling, may God bless you as you allow him to transform you into the woman he wants you to be as he is in me.
The devotion did I really say that was just what I needed. Actually I thought this is so me! I absolutele love that God knows just what we need and we when we need it. Thank you for sharing and being obedient to the Lord. I am going to be doing my homework because, I’m so bad about just blurting and then justifying that I have the right because ism the mom, or I did just work hard cleaning the kitchen – do not even think about messing it up. Wow I really needed this, thanks again! Debbie
Oh the tongue…so appreciate your honesty, Wendy. And can so relate to the kitchen scene. Not just with my hubby, but with my kids as well. We are works in progress…and like many other struggles I have against my willful flesh (eating healthily), I’m not giving up…and God’s not finished with me yet. We are assured victory in Him. Thanks for the great questions to ask. And thanks for the reminder that God is indeed with us and will help us become our best.
So true! Thanks, I need that reminder often.
What a timely post – thank you! We have been working with our children on the power of their words and actually use the “THINK” acronym that you posted. But through working with my kids on this – the Lord has been working on ME and my words as well!! I love how God works!! =)
What a great message for me today. For every day! It is easy to justify our actions instead of giving them to God and allowing Him to change us.
oh wow, what a powerful message-I flunk this lesson all of the time in a big way!!
60 and still struggling with taming my tongue
Thank you for this devotional Wendy. It is always so uplifting to know there are others struggling with the same issues. I spend a lot of time going over what I say in a given day and I’m so lucky God forgives! I have a very outgoing personality and God has shown me that putting up that “guard” means slowing down and really considering each word. I still mess up often but realizing the impact words have has also made a big impact on my marriage as well.
I learned from some of the masters of all time to cut people into confetti, just with my tongue. I learned in my 30′s that some of my friends actually admired my ability to do that; oddly, their admiration did not bless me! Over time, but mostly in just the past 11 years, I have learned to tame my tongue–literal and figurative–most of the time. So many scriptures have worked into my heart, which is the source of all of my words, good or bad. My heart’s deepest desire is to be so thoroughly transformed, so deeply changed, that as I move into my late, late years (I’m 66) and my mind begins to fail me, that I will not revert to old patterns; that I will not grow old as the women of my family have done, before me; that I will truly have become so like Christ that I am sweeter, kinder, more gracious and more loving.
But recently, after a shocking announcement by our lead pastor–a man I truly love and count as my friend–my husband and I were both so hurt and so angry, that we both wrote to “John” with our concerns. As you can see, I write in paragraphs; my husband writes in bullet statements. We shared our first drafts, and I accompanied mine with this qualifier: “This is my VENTING draft!”
Instead of helping me pare it down, my husband urged me to send it, as it was, with all the angry, hurtful words, accusations, suppositions, etc. I was shocked. I did not want to do that, but this was so different a suggestion from my normally very wise husband, that I was ultimately persuaded. And the e-mail I received the next day assured me that “John” was deeply hurt.
In my anger and hurt, I had lost faith in his integrity and trustworthy heart. When I protested to my husband that “John” is my friend, I was told, “He doesn’t deserve it!” My husband was an hurt and angry as I, and he has not known our pastors as long as I have.
All week I cried, brokenhearted to have hurt my friend, to have thought for a moment that he lacked the integrity that I knew he had; brokenhearted to have violated all those admonitions in scripture to control my tongue, to be kind, compassionate and tender-hearted; brokenhearted to realize that I still have the ability to do as I had done. I know God had forgiven me the first time I asked, but I was in deep mourning over my sin.
“John” and I had a few moments the following Sunday morning to talk, as I made my confession to this forgiving, grace-giving man. The incident no longer stands between us. But I have learned the truth of the warning to be careful where we stand, lest we fall. And I have renewed my prayer for real transformation to go deeper, ever deeper, for as long as I remain here.
One cause for encouragement and hope, though: I have never grieved over this sin of ripping people apart, as I did this last time–and it had been so long since the last time, that I don’t remember when that was or who was involved. And my grief this time was not only for wounding the heart of a friend, but for having violated so many admonitions in God’s love letter to me. This time, I did not try to justify myself; even when “John” offered me an out, saying that sometimes, we just need to” let it all out, I could not reconcile that with the scriptures I had taken to heart. And James does tell us to “be doers of the word, and not hearers, only” (1:22).
I hope you will choose my comment as one of the five winners of your e-book, All Things Wise and Wonderful…. It sounds like something we could use in a life group, at church.
This is exactly what I needed. Right now, as my daughter turns 6, I’m already struggling with taming my tongue. I’ve found myself asking for forgiveness too many times. Thankfully, she’s just 6. So she is currently snuggled next to my arm as I type this. For that I am thankful. Though I desire to be better with my words as she grows and learns (and watches me!). Thank you for your words of wisdom and timely scripture.
Thank you. Today, every day really, I needed this reminder.
The good Lord has changed me in so many ways. My mouth used to get me into trouble all of the time, and then I met Michael. He has a way of edifying everyone he comes in contact with. He speaks with love and in truth when someone/something needs correction – including me. My mouth caused many fights in the beginning of our marriage that I really didn’t think we would survive. I know how frustrated he must of been, as he is a sweet, loving, calm-mannered southerner, and I am a high-strung northerner. While I was pouring my heart out to my mother one day in the beginning of our marriage, she looked at me point-blank and said, “If you want your situation to change, you change.” I was thinking to myself, “Me? Why does it have to always be me?” She encouraged me to spend more time in the Word, and more time on my knees. I set my alarm for 30 minutes earlier than I normally wake up, and to this day I still spend the first part of my day in His word, and in prayer. Our marriage has just begun it’s fourth year, it’s happy, fun, loving and God-centered. We thank Him for EVERYTHING. We love each other, but love Him first and most!
Oh, I love what your mom said, “If you want your situation to change, YOU change!” What a powerful statement packed with truth. And we do say “why me,” “why do I have to be the one?” But when we do, God does amazing things. Those who humble themselves WILL BE EXALTED. Blessings follow OBEDIENCE!!
Thank you for sharing!!
Wendy
Let me just put it this way…
You hit the nail on the head today in a very kind way.
I am convicted lately by my “timing” not necessarily the content just the “when.”
This is difficult for me because I have a hard time waiting on anything.
So thank you sister for the message.
God bless you!
Within the past year, I had a friend approach me about taming my tongue. Not easy for either of us, and yet I’m so thankful she had the courage to take that step. She was so sweet in pointing out that she never doubted my motives for anything that passed my lips, but that much of it was simply unnecessary. I think if she had not said anything, I wouldn’t think through what I say so thoroughly. Now, just like you said…most of the time, or when I’m attempting to be deliberate, I really do THINK about what I share. The two most crucial questions I find being,
“Will it hurt or heal?” and “What is my motive?” My sinful nature is ashamed to admit that that motive question cuts to the core. Man, many times I find myself thinking, “My motive was to tear someone down”. How horrible! Great reminder, and reminder to talk to other women about this. I’m glad my friend approached me in a loving manner.
I love your words, ” will it hurt or will it heal” simple but effective!
I so needed this today (and everyday)! I will be writing out Psalm 141:3 and posting it on my kitchen cabinet for frequent reminders! I love that the Lord led me here and to the truths that are shared. I, as others have also said, struggle the most with this in my home with those I love dearly. Thank you!
Today is my catch up day and I’m so thankful to come across your devotion from 6/11/12. I copied Ephesians 4:29 on a posted noted and placed it on my computer as a reminder. Would not life be so much better if we lived this verse out everyday, especially in our work place. Thank you for increasing our awareness. I hope to join this study and avoid the pitfull of daily obligations interferring. PS I gave your book Hidden Joy away to a friend that was having forgiveness issues. Spreading your inspiration to others! You are a blessing!
Thank you for sharing Hidden Joy with your friend. It means so much when someone shares the book because it shows me you found it valuable to your life and THAT is an answer to the many prayers I prayed as I wrote it.
Blessings to you,
Wendy
I really needed this reminder and I am so glad I found this site. I am struggling in this area
Guilty! God forgive me for not holding my tongue Struggling with 2 teenagers
Thank you so much for your devotional. I had this acronym and questions taped to the inside of my kitchen cabinet for years now. Funny but I think I got it from one of your online studies. My mentor saw it once and wanted a copy of it. Unfortunately I have not put it into practice as well as I once had. I wrestle with being more than just a hearer of the Word but a doer of the Word. I now have 3 teenagers and a preteen and I am struggling to control my tongue and be more positive and encouraging. Your study All Things Wise and Wonderful ” looks to be most helpful.. Thanks for your ministry.
Oh, Wendy!
How I wish I had taken the time to read this before starting work yesterday. But, i was exhausted. Driving down to Chicago to take my daughter to see doctors for her 3 rd relapse with cancer, having her refuse further treatment, be told by her doctor she is a adult now, capable of making her own decisions with me feeling so helpless. Then having to drive back home, 90 minutes each way without traffic. I had to work. I was working because we have been so short of staff I did not want to force my coworkers to loose their summertime off.
So I cried my way through work that day but had come in late so really did not see any of the new changes at work. Then coming into work at Friday, I have now found out I need to inform emergency room physicians their facility will be charged 300 dollars for my treatment recommendations. These doctors only call when they need help to care for a critically ill patient. After that email, I read our new vacation policy which informed me I will only be allowed 1 weekend off a year. I should have remembered my Bible instructions regarding my tongue. But I didn’t. I told my supervisor I am not able to ask for money from someone in a time of dire need, and with me working Friday, Saturday, Sunday evenings, I need more than 1 weekend off a year!
I cried my way through the conversation. Once done the manager informed me that this was unprofessional as I brought up information that may be concerning to a new employee. This policy had been in place at the time of my daughter’s wedding, I nearly was not able to be off work. I had to cancel a family vacation as I could find no one to work for me. We finally had come to a workable vacation policy and now a new supervisor changed it all.
I just wish I had remembered how mighty this tongue is. I perhaps could have held back.
I very much appreciated this Bible devotional, it is so important to THINK before you say. That the tongue really sometimes a trouble maker.
Susie
Wisconsin
Hi, I’m fairly new here to this blog and have been enjoying it very much. I’ve been devouring the Hewbrews study. This is good stuff. I have a question though. Where is the study for chapter 10? I haven’t seen it anywhere. I’m not sure how I’m missing it.
This blog has already helped me grow in my walk with Jesus. Thank you for all the time and effort you put into this.
Hi Jean, simply click on “Older Posts” at the very end, and it will take you to the remainder of the chapters. Let me know if you have any trouble finding it. So thankful you are enjoying it!!! I love hearing how God is using the studies.
Blessings,
Wendy
Thank you for the encouragement. With two teenagers, this is a great reminder for me right now!
Thanks for this. I used the T.H.I.N.K to explain to kids at kids church that we need to think about what we say. But I changed N to needed
Also I said the ‘I’ was left out because its about the OTHER person not us.
Wendy. Lately there has been this college student who threatens and belittles anyone who calls him out on anything or challenges him. I recently sent him a message on facebook that called him out on the things he was doing with some not so nice words myself and now the boiling point has turned into fire. I so desperately want to control my toungue and I was wondering if you had any words of wisdom to help me.
Isn’t so funny that we know what we should do, but we struggle with doing it!! Just what Paul wrote in Romans. It too struggle with this very thing!
I wish I had more words of wisdom for you. Of course, repenting of your words with the Lord is step one. And then, returning to Facebook and asking forgiveness for your words spoken in anger. That is all you need to do to make things right with you in the eyes of God. And you set a godly model for all on Facebook to see.
Then, if the issue comes up again, I would PRAY before taking any action. Definitely pray for this college student and his heart. It must be filled with so much hurt to be so mean and cruel to others. Then, depending upon what the Lord says, you can either hold your tongue and let others address this student’s behavior. Or you can prayerfully write words that will not tear down or hurt but that will be productive in the healing process. The problem is that with people like this, they generally are not reasonable people. So any words you speak may go unnoticed or even criticized.
Praying God will grant you great wisdom on how to interact with this person. He promises that when we seek Him with all our heart, we will find Him. Trusting He will guide and direct your steps and your words.
W
Good day! Would you mind if I share your blog with my facebook group?
There’s a lot of people that I think would really appreciate your content. Please let me know. Cheers
My blog is not closed, so you may share it with your friends. thank you for your kind words.
Blessings,
Wendy