**Hey friends! I have missed you these past few weeks, but I have enjoyed precious time with my family. Although I have not been posting, I have continued to pray for you.
Wanted to let you know that I have a new FB Ministry Page and would so appreciate it if you would stop by and “Like” my page. To visit, click here. I will share more about it in my next post. **
If you are taking a child to college or have a friend taking a child to college, it is my prayer that God will use this post to encourage you. I begin with a post I wrote in August 2011 and then share a new one written today.
Written from my heart August 2011….
No one ever prepares you for the hurt that accompanies sending your baby off to college. Moms share their experiences. They give advice. They pray. They send Scripture. But when the moment arrives…nothing prepares you.
As we stood in the darkness of the parking lot outside Lauren’s dorm, I felt as if I could not breathe. Waves of grief overcame me. She hugged her Daddy. Next she hugged her brother. I stood, waiting for my turn, tears streaming down my cheeks. Finally she came to me. I held her for what seemed forever as we both wept…no words just tears. Finally, we spoke our last goodbyes. I watched her walk up the stairs to her new home. Everything in me wanted to run after her. I wanted to turn back time and take her home…just one more year with me. But I knew that was not possible.
It was time…time for her to journey into the next phase of God’s plan for her life…a plan I know is perfect…a plan I know is one planned by God since before time began…a plan to prosper and not to harm her…a plan to give her Hope and a future.
But knowing those truths does not make saying goodbye hurt any less. As we drove home, the ache in my heart grew.
Walking into the house brought waves of tears. It hurts so much. How do I walk this walk? How do I live each day knowing her bright, smiling face won’t be walking through the door every afternoon. How do I serve dinner every night with one less place setting? How do I go to Target knowing she isn’t with me to stop at Chick-fil-A to get our sweet tea? How do I watch “Bewitched” without her at 4:30 every afternoon? She is everywhere!!!
How will I walk this walk? The only way I know how…one step at a time…with my Lord guiding each and every step and with you, my sweet friends, whose prayers and words of encouragement have held me up. It is such a lonely feeling, yet you have helped me know I am not alone.
My friend Marlo Huffington wrote these beautiful words:
Let the sweet waves of loss wash over you for they will eventually give way to joy!
So, I will wait patiently for the Joy that always comes in the morning.
Written from my heart August 2012
I wrote the post above about this same time last year, and guess what? I survived! Joy did come in the morning. Yes, with Lauren’s departure, our house was different…my life was different. I got used to saying “three” instead of “four’ at our favorite restaurants. I adapted to shopping at Nordstrom by myself. Eventually I could walk into Lauren’s room without bursting into tears.
We all survived. In fact, I came to enjoy our new normal. I was able to spend more time with Monty and with Bo and that was a blessing.
When Lauren returned home for the summer, I was overjoyed. We returned to the “old normal,” and it was fabulous! I could not have asked for a better summer. It included a wonderful trip to New York…just the two of us…and a two week trip to California for our entire family.
When the time came to take her back to Georgia, dread rose up in me again. Would I go through another time of deep despair? Would by heart feel as if it was ripped in two all over again?
Much to my surprise and delight, it was different. Although tears still flowed as we hugged our last hug (and for about 30 minutes down I-85), it was easier this time.
Easier because she loves the University of Georgia. It has become her ”home away from home.” She lives with 5o of her closest friends in the sorority house. She is well on her way as a journalism and communications major. She has found a church home and a great Bible study. She is in the center of God’s will. How could I not be excited and grateful God’s faithfulness to answer all my prayers!
If you are taking your child to college, whether for the first time or not, please leave me a message here and share your heart. I want to pray for you! I know it feels like you will never survive saying “goodbye.” But you will. I promise.
And you will not just survive, you will delight as you watch your child mature and grow. You will be shocked when she actually takes your advice…when you hear your words come out of his mouth. (Can you believe he was listening?)
Claim God’s promise:
I will turn your mourning into gladness; I will give you comfort and joy instead of sorrow. Jeremiah 31:13b
Blessings,
Hidden Joy in a Dark Corner: The Transforming Power of God's Story 
All Things Wise and Wonderful: Applying God's Wisdom in Everyday Life (E-Book)
Thank you Wendy for taking the time to remember those of us that are going through the heartache of watching our first bird leave the nest. You have been a dependable source of encouragement to me (and my family) for many years. I’m very fortunate to have you as a friend and neighbor. Your words of wisdom have given me comfort as I begin this journey that feels like a chainsaw in my stomach! <3
Vanessia, it is a deep ache that only time heals. Thank you for your sweet words of encouragement. I love Hannah and pray God’s highest and best for her as she embarks on the next leg of her journey with God. I will be remembering all of you moms in my prayers over the next few weeks.
Love you, friend,
Wendy
My son, my youngest – his sister and brother are 27 and 25 – is leaving next week and I’m dreading it. All of my children will be hours away. My husband (their stepdad) does not share in my sadness. I feel very alone. I will be leaning heavily on Him to carry me through this and into the next season of my life. Thank you for your blog.
Renae, I think most husbands do not feel the same ache we do. Our God is the God of ALL Comfort, and I pray you will know the fullness of that comfort during this time.
Blessings,
Wendy
Such great encouragement, Wendy. My one and only baby boy went off to college five years ago and it was truly one of the hardest things we ever experienced. Always tenders my heart toward other parents around this time of year. This year, my sister is in this place. I’ve been praying and trying to be a support to her and just forwarded your wonderfully encouraging blog post. I’ve posted on FB for other parents as well. Thanks again!
Thank you for sharing this on FB for other parents to read. I pray it will be an encouragement to them. My heart is always tender towards parents whose kids are heading to college too!!
W
Wendy,
It was by God’s providence that I “liked” your blog yesterday and you posted this message today! God knows just what we need! We left my daughter at college (600 miles away) last Sunday. You described every emotion I have experienced since we hugged goodbye. This has been one of the most difficult moments in my life. I have had several moments where I literally felt like my heart was going to burst from the pain. Please pray for me and my family as we transition into this new season of life and learn our new normal. Thank you for your latter post. It gives me hope that in a year, God will help me work through the pain and I will have joy again. I do accept that God has her in HIS perfect will and she is right where HE planned for her to be. I know God doesn’t waste our suffering and this season is just a step in the process of God using his chisel to make me more in HIS image.
God Bless You!
Thanks Wendy! I remembered your post from last year and thought at the time, that’s me in a year. After returning home this weekend, I couldn’t believe how heartbroken i am feeling. My oldest son was no longer going to be a part of our lives every day.
He wasn’t involved in a youth group or interested in church while in highschool, so my biggest prayer is that God will touch his heart while he is away at college and that he will become a young man who walks with Christ.
My prayers are with the rest of you and your college freshman.
Praying now that this would be your son’s time to make his faith his own. Praying that God will place harvesters across his path to draw him to a church family and/or a Bible study or college fellowship of believers. Trusting God that He will be faithful with our request, knowing God wants it even more than we do!!
Blessings,
Wendy
Oh Wendy, how did you know? In fact I take my first born daughter to college Friday, Aug. 17. I know it is a good thing, that God will protect and guide her, and this is the normal next step in her young life, but oh it is still hard on this momma! I am excited for her and I know she is ready, but my heart breaks not having her at home every evening to share about her day. I have already thought about the restaurant issue, saying “three” instead of “four” now. Please pray for peace in my heart knowing God has her right where He needs her to be.
Oh, Wendy, your words are such comfort to my mama heart. My oldest heads off to a college campus and ten hours away from home in just two days. I can hardly believe this day has come, but what you said is so true. There is no other place I’d rather him be than smack dab in the middle of where God wants him. And where he is headed is where HE wants him. HE has opened the doors for this opportunity and I know HE has a perfect plan for my son. One that is filled with hope and a future! Yes, the words and encouragement from sweet mamas that have gone before me are such a treasure to me right now. And much of what they’ve said to me in past weeks and what you have said here in this post today will continue to echo in my heart. The best is yet to come!
Thank you Wendy for your encouraging words and reminders of God’s promises. I know him to be faithful and present. I know his plans are perfect and I trust his love for my daughter and for me and the rest of the family. I am trying to be thankful and not mourn the way it was,but to anticipate the blessings that are ahead. We make that trip on Saturday. I know my daughter is prepared, she knows God is with her.
It is a hard lesson to accept that control has always been God’s job not mine, He is the one that has protected,provided and he will continue to be the lover of her soul.
I know He will be in the car with me when I turn it around to head home without my precious daughter,and when I walk into her empty room he will be there too. He cares about the tears that fall even as I write this. He knows how to comfort me in my sadness. He reminds me not to be selfish, this is a wonderful season for my child and me as well. He encourages me that I have loved her well and most importantly I have shared his love for her with her. I have taught her that He hears her prayers and that prayer changes things.
It has helped me to read your letter,as a member of the sisterhood of mothers. It comforts me to hear of God’s comfort and his faithfulness. Thank you, Wendy for your prayers, please pray that I renew my mind and not let my feelings over rule all that I know to be true. That I rest in God, in his love, his truth and his peace, knowing that what I commit unto him, he is faithful to keep.
I will cherish his promise from Jeremiah 31:13…comfort, joy and gladness are surely mine!
Beth
Oh, Wendy….I remember reading your post last year, crying, remembering how hard it was to say goodbye to my parents so many years ago. Next week, I will be on the other side, dropping my firstborn off at college. Even though he will only be 75 miles away, I have shed many tears already. My precious boy, the one given a diagnosis of autism at age two, the one whose voice we longed to hear yet at age 3, who struggled with so much as a child, is now leaving our nest? I have clung to Jeremiah 29:11 over the years, praying it unceasingly over this beautiful boy, and am overwhelmed with thankfulness at all the Lord has done in his life. I could have never imagined that he would be able to go off on his own to college, yet here we are. How hard to let go now, to trust that others will be kind. Yes, my heart aches like never before, but in the midst of it, I give thanks! Thank you for your beautiful words of encouragement, and your prayers!
I’m so glad I found your blog today, perfect timing. It was great to read your last letter and to see how far you’ve come. Makes me happy and gives me hope that I’ll be ok again.. My oldest daughter is moving out this Sunday. I am living with a lump in my throat and wondering if it will go away.
Thanks so much for this post. We are taking my first born to school tomorrow. I’m very excited for him but heartbroken for me. He is an amazing kid that God has already been using to touch lives. I just pray he keeps his focus on God at a state university. I could definitely use some prayers to get me through tomorrow
I am so glad I stumbled across this post of fb. We left our son on Monday, 13 hours away from home, it was by far the hardest thing i have done as a mom. I cried almost all the way home and then when we got home an his room was empty it all started again. I am still fighting back the tears… I know he is where God wants him and where he is going to be happy. this post just brightened my day. thank you!!!
Thank you SO much for this encouragement! I will be taking my only daughter, and mini-me to college this coming weekend. While I am so proud & excited, the sorrow is building up as I know saying good bye will be so difficult. But who learned to fly from being held in the nest? And as your encouraging words touch me, I’m reminded of how truly blessed I am to be able to see my child off to college, as I have several friends who have lost their children in recent years before their opportunity for college ever arrived. I am so blessed. Thank you for the reminder!
Loved reading this post. I, too, am experienced my second good-bye on Saturday. It was a little easier this time, but I still had a day of grieving. Praying for my “baby” and all of the others going off to spread their wings. Also praying for the Mammas left behind. It is nice to know I am not alone!
Oh Wendy, even though the time for me to take Luke to college is yet still a year away, I read this with tears streaming, and I mean STREAMING down my face. I look at him sometimes and burst into tears. I remember the time Luke saw Lauren on the cover of the P31 magazine and thought she’d make a great, beautiful wife!
And so I prepare for what is only a year away….and as it’s not just 4 years but 10 as Luke has committed and been accepted to West Point, to play basketball for them, and then gives 5 years to Army as an officer…after being at their prep school for one year, college for 4 and then Army…gracious….I wonder if I can follow him and then I remind myself that I can only ‘follow’ God and his plan for me. Oh dear, I feel like my chest might break. Please, please post this again next year so I can read it then….love you girl…and miss seeing you.
Shari,
Just LOVE hearing all that is going on in Luke’s life. You must be so proud of him!!! What an exciting future he has ahead of him. I know you will miss him. I pray this is a year filled with lots of fun and laughter as you prepare for him to leave next year. ENJOY every minute. Don’t be afraid to say “no” to something to be with him because you will never get the time back. I did this with Lauren her senior year. I took no speaking engagements for the entire fall season so I could watch her cheer at every game and be together every Sunday as a family. It was WELL WORTH IT!!
Love you,
Wendy
I am so glad that I found this post! I took my oldest to college yesterday and although I know that she is protected I just wanted to keep her,not even a year but just a day. I am so excited for what the Lord has in store for her but the selfish part of me wants to keep her with me. My prayer is that she and every other student leaving home is able to keep their mind set on the path the Lord has set for them. Praying for all of the families that will or have been taking kids to college and ask you do the same for me!
Wendy,
I have never read one of your “articles” before today. It was sent to me via Facebook by a very good friend. I am sending my one and only child, Cody, to college 2 weeks from tomorrow. On most days I handle it well, and then I read articles. LOL! Cody is such an intergral part of who I am, who my husband and I are, who are family is, that the thought of his laughter and presence not being in our home seems unimaginable. I know there is hope and joy on the other side and I am praying daily that God will surprise me with a peace I have nver known before. Cody selected a Christian college 12 hours away from our home in Reno, Nevada. He will be living in Spokane, Washington. The school, Whitworth, is a PERFECT fit for him – couldn’t have chosen better for him. But my heart is still breaking. I appreciate all the prayers I can get. Thank you for sharing your heart. This empty nester is mourning greatly today.
Oh, Michelle, my heart does go out to you as you send your one and only away to school. Praying for the God of all Comfort to comfort your mamma’s heart and for you to TRUST God to keep His hand upon your baby boy each and every day.
Blessings,
Wendy
I am so grateful for this message! I am taking my son (my first) to college next week. I felt bad at first for being so sad, as I do trust that God has a plan for him and I know He loves my son more than I ever could imagine. I want to say I’m fine and I’ll get through it with no problem, but it hurts! I am so thankful to hear your words that you hurt too and it did get better. I’m claiming the verse you mentioned and I know that God will guide us both through this new chapter in our lives. Thank you!
I feel as though I was standing in your shoes last year. My heart ached and ached. The tears…..well, I couldn’t stop them from coming. I thought I was going to be fine when I left my baby boy. But, to my surprise, when it came time for the two of us to hug and say our good byes, he held ME tight and I felt him crying. I didn’t think about it being hard on HIM, my strong son. I know his tears didn’t last as long as mine, but they had an impact on my life. He didn’t have to say a word. I FELT his love and I KNOW that he missed me like I missed him. I did survive that first year, because he was HAPPY.
I left my second and last baby boy three days ago and the tears still flow. The second experience was a little different but still HARD. I have been prepping myself for this for four years, but NOTHING could prepare me for an EMPTY HOUSE. I know that one day the tears won’t come as easy because I know that my babies are together and they are HAPPY. I will rise up and I will SMILE because my God is with me and He loves me (and because my boys NEED me to).
Great post…Left our daughter last Friday at University of Arkansas. (2 hours away) She and I have always been so close. She is our one and only child and the change in my role as mom changed so abruptly, I wasn’t prepared for the heartache. She is adjusting so well and is so excited to be there and to get on to the next chapter of life. She has a heart for the Lord and I know she will grow in her dependence and love through whatever comes her way. Thank goodness for texting! I am trying to be a “big girl” mom and allow her time and space.
My oldest daughter will be a Senior at Taylor University and my 2nd daughter will be a freshman at Indiana Wesleyan this fall. One leaves on Sunday and the other on August 31. My younger daughter is so afraid and she is having major second thoughts about going. We trust that IWU is God’s plan for her and greatly expect her to thrive there. Please pray that she finds the peace and the strength to go. I know once the time comes, I will be the one who needs the prayers to let her go. Thanks for this post, it’s timing was perfect. God bless!
Thank you so much for posting this. Our only child is moving into her dorm on Saturday. With all of the busyness of shopping and preparing, it has finally hit home that she is really leaving. She’s only going to be 45 minutes away, but I can’t help feeling that I won’t be anyone’s mom anymore. I know that is silly – I will always be her mom. I’ve just loved every single minute of having her close to me. It’s know it’s time to let her fly and move forward in God’s plan for her… And me…
Renee, moms of only children have firsts and lasts at the same time. Totally understand! I choose everyday to cherish and not cling….it’s a process! It helps to know that every mom goes through this and survives/thrives.
Prayers to you!
Boy, did I need this post. My daughter leaves for college soon, but it’s been a rough road to get there.
Teenagers are hard enough, but once they hit 18 lol watch out!
We seem to argue so much this summer as she wants to go constantly, hardly ever home. I pray it all works out and am so trying to learn to let the worry go, but it’s so hard!
18 year olds, well, mine, don’t like to listen to mom lol
We’ll get there, one step at a time.
Thank so much,
Love
Denise of Ingleside
Wow, are you sure you don’t have my daughter there?? Haha! That was exactly how it was with mine. It sounds like she is trying to exercise her independence right now. You’ll be amazed at how close you two will grow this year through the separation. At least that’s what happened with mine. You just have to lean on God every single day and ask for guidance through it all. The peace that comes from trusting Him completely with your child is so peaceful:) I’ll say a prayer for you!
I agree with Sue. You will grow close through this year of separation. They come to realize how much they miss us and truly grow to appreciate us. It is so cool!!! Nearly every friend of mine has had this experience. I pray the same for you!!!
Blessings,
Wendy
Denise of Ingleside, I have had THE hardest time with my son this summer. I really want him to leave for college and experience life without the help of his mother or anyone else. He really needs this part of life to start. He came out of a horrible teenage beginning and grew into a man that GOD has tried to form. Church Youth Group (Living Proof) has made such a transition. Hoping he keeps his word to live the life god is directing him to go. I have faith and prayers for everyone entering into their freshman year at college.
I am really feeling bad and guilty after reading all of your posts cause I am really not sad about my son going off to college. We have had some really hard times with him and to be honest I am ready for him to go. I do have fear for him and pray that he will make good decisions and to do his very best. I also have fear on whether I have taught and prepared him enough. I guess I have more fear than sadness but that might come later when we move him.
Missy, please do not feel guilty. Sometimes moms are ready and that is not a bad thing…maybe almost better emotionally. Praying that your son will mature and grow this year….praying he will look back and appreciate his family and all you have done for him…praying for godly friends and mentors to come alongside and invest in him. Praying you will not fear but trust God to care for your son now that you cannot.
Blessings,
Wendy
Missy, I can’t agree with you more! Hoping our kids get on the right track after this summer of immaturity and irresponsibility. Mine is off to a Christian College. God is in control!!
This post hit home for me, too! 3 years ago we drove our oldest daughter to her college 7 hours away – leaving her there was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. Now, she has made a home there, is very active in the Catholic student center, and has wonderful friends. I know that this is where God wants her to be. This year we will be taking our younger daughter to her first year of college. Even though she will only be 2 hours away, I know it will still be hard. The house gets a little quieter with each one leaving. We still have one left at home, a son, who will be a sophomore in high school, and I plan on cherishing each of the 3 years I have left with him at home. I also look forward to the craziness that ensues whenever they are all home at the same time. My prayer each day is that God watch over them, protect them, and guide them on the path HE has chosen for them.
Thank you so much for this, Wendy. I have been an emotional wreck for the past month as we are getting ready to take Daughter #2 to college next Friday. Her older sister just graduated from the same college and then got married this summer so it is empty nest time at our house. We have many friends telling us that we will love this stage in life but so far I am not seeing how that can be the case. I know God has great and mighty things ahead for our daughter but the Mom in me really wishes I could hold on for a little longer. Thank you for giving me permission to cry and to know that “joy will come in the morning.” I’ve forwarded this to four of my friends who are going through the same issue. Thanks for being so open with all of us.
Our oldest will be leaving on Fri. I have some very mixed emotions about it,he hasn’t always been real honest with us and is involved in some things that I don’t really like,not bad things just things that aren’t really upbuilding.My prayer request would be that he would remain faithful and find a church that he would feel comfortable attending and remain faithful in attending
Praying in agreement with you, Renita…praying for godly friends to come alongside him….praying for a church family that would appeal to him and/or a Bible study/fellowship that would accept him and love him for who he is and be the vessel to show him God’s love and draw him back to a relationship with Christ.
Blessings,
Wendy
Thanks for sharing. My second is going to college this fall. I’m fortunate in that she can live at home for the first couple of years. But it is still so difficult to “let go.” All the things she has planned for her life that don’t include me, that sometimes don’t even fall under our “rules.” Places she plans on going once she turns 18 that we have never allowed our kids to go to. All of a sudden our rules and safety nets no longer seem to be in effect. She is scared silly about going to college, not sure if she wants to continue past the first semester. Just really need prayer I guess that she will fall in love with the college, the program, will make lots of new friends and will find her “fit.” I hurt for her because I understand and see her pain and discomfort, but know that she has to walk this path. I just pray she will walk it with the Lord and not turn her back on Him as she embarks on this new path.
Needed to read that! Although I want to see my child go off to University, to branch out, be more independent, rely on God more… its a bittersweet experience.
Pray for me and my husband, as next Thursday we say goodbye…… for a while.
Thank you so much for writing this post. I have a daughter leaving for college next Thursday – I have homeschooled her all through her schooling years so this will be a huge adjustment for all of us. I’ve already spent many mornings with tears – I cannot imagine what it will feel like next week. Thank you for lifting me and my family up in prayer.
Kathy
Wendy, I’m reading this as my husband are headed back to NC after dropping off our kids at college. I missed the post from 2011, but just read both today. You are right on!! I laughed at your remarks about asking for a table at a restaurant:) That’s was weird for me…haha. Without going into a long story, let me just say I give all glory to God for helping me adjust to our new normal! I grew very close to Him this past year. We also had a great summer! It was so neat (and trying at times:)) to see how my kids have grown and matured over the past year. Our relationships are definitely more on an adult level:) To help me deal with saying goodbye AGAIN, I chose to focus on their excitement about getting back to their friends and to their new normal. I’ll be praying for all the parents who are missing their college kids…and for those kids! Thank you for your encouragement!
I remember going thru the same thing last fall… and again everytime my oldest would come and go.. he didn’t come home this summer except for a day here and there as he got a job working 5 hours from home. I loved Wendy’s description of adjusting to a “new normal” and then back to an “old normal” as we have done that several times. Our son is the oldest of 5 but we still notice one less at the table all the time. Though we didn’t have him home for the summer he did get to come on vacation with us and we are enjoying our time very much before he goes back for his sophomore year august 28. One more year and another one flies… which is exactly what we have spent all these years preparing them to do. I don’t expect ot ever gets any easier but it is an exciting new chapter of stretching and growing in both theirs and our lives andexciting to watch it all unfold
A friend of mine just shared your website and post with me. Thank you so much for your encouraging words. I will be dropping my daughter off in Chicago in a few days, and returning to FL without her. It is so hard knowing that I won’t be coming home to my same life…everything is going to be different. Some nights I lay in bed and it feels as though someone has died. Then I wake up in the morning, and that feeling is still there. My daughter has always been a bright light and ray of sunshine to all. It will be very hard to not see her everyday. It is comforting to know that there are so many other moms going through this same thing. Thank you for your gentle reminder that weeping may last for a night, but joy comes in the morning. It is just the verse that I needed to hear!
Thank you so much for your message. I am a single mom of 1 child and for the last 18 years it has just been the 2 of us taking on the world together. When I dropped him off at college last year for the 1st time I did not know how I was going to make it. It was hard coming home from work to such a quiet lonley house and I could not even go into his room without crying. We have had a awesome summer together even though we did not get to take a vacation I see how much my son has grown being away from home. He worked 2 jobs all summer just to help take a little burden off me finicially with school. He goes back next week and I know it will be hard again but it is different this time. Now I am a bragging mom he is the first in my family to go to college and he joined a fraturnity making good grades and decessions along the way. And I raised him alone. God blessed me with a special young man who continues to amaze me. Please keep us both in your prayers.
GOD BLESS !!
Thanks for your posts, Wendy. Last spring I read Carol Kuykendall’s book– Give Them Wings. This book really did help me adjust to the idea of releasing my firstborn to the college journey. When my children were in elementary school, I never thought about what the family dynamics would be like when the first one left. All summer I have been reminiscing about their early childhood summers. Time flies. We moved our son in today, but he came home with us because an out-of-state cousin was arriving this evening for a visit. My son will go back this weekend and he will only be an hour away. I think God is blessing me with baby steps in gradually releasing my son in stages. I really need prayer support that he will make good moral choices and associate with a church group since he is the quiet, shy type and he is at a state school.
Hi Jane…isn’t Carol’s book great? I read it as my daughter started high school and I think it paved the way and made things a little easier when she did actually leave for college. And reading Wendy’s posts brought everything back to me. I pray that your son will find wonderful new friends and make those good but difficult choices. Debby
Just reading each of these posts brings tears to my eyes. It is so hard to be a mom!!! Tomorrow morning, please know that I will wake up and pray over each one of these. What comfort it is to know that we do not walk this alone, and we are all lifting each other in prayer.
Love you moms!
Wendy
Wendy,
Thank you for posting from your heart. It has helped me as I’m preparing to take my daughter to her first year of college and saying “Good bye” to my son starting his last year at college. As you had the 2 other children at home and still had the “Mother” role, I’m having a hard time with the ‘empty-nest’ syndrome. I have found comfort in your posting knowing that others are feeling the same as I and knowing that it will get better. I have full confidence that God is guiding me through this and will be at the side of my children. I’ve found a new hobby to keep me ‘busy’ and look forward to focusing on photography. I plan to put together photo scrapbooks for each of my kids as my mother did for me. What a wonderful keepsake. The lonliness is thing that aches me. It reminds me of when I was first divorced and living in my own house for the first time in my life. I thank God that I have Him to love me and His Word to give me comfort in my times of lonliness. This too will pass. Thank you and God bless.
Becky
I just read you blog about moving your daughter to college with tears streaming down my face. We move our Son to college tomorrow and my feeling are the same. I have been preparing for this day since the day he was born but somehow I feel helpless. I am so torn between being excited for him and knowing how much I will miss him every day. Please pray for strenght for me as I adjust to a new life.
Sharon
I needed to see this post. The ache I feel is something I didn’t fully anticipate as we prepared to deliver our son to LSU – 900 miles away from our Virginia home. It’s been a rocky few days but I draw comfort in knowing we prayed for the right school and this was the answer. God’s fingerprints are all over it. My son will be fine. I will too; it just may take awhile.
Jan, we live in NC and our kids go to school in Natchitoches, LA (811 miles away) and Lafayette, LA (713 miles)…I know what you mean! We just drive home yesterday…I do not miss that heat and humidity:)! I prayed for you all. Take care!
Wendy,
I’ve waited for these days… I’m mother to four beautiful, smart children. Three have left the nest already, but none of them under these circumstances. The first to move out was my second daughter, one year after her sister began college at our local university while living at home. Almost as soon as she completed her senior year she broke free to live on her own with friends, out “from under” our stifling rules. I didn’t sleep for 3 days- I worried about her and felt rejected and judged (how bad must be be for her to be willing to pay rent and expenses just to get a single mile away?). She was back within 4 months, but by that time I was encouraging her to work things out with her roommates…
My eldest left later that Spring, and I was ready. She was still struggling with school and her future, but God made it clear that she needed distance and her own space, and it was easier to let her go. Besides, I still had my two “little kids,” and I looked forward to the joy of helping them move on to their college experiences.
Last month my third daughter, after one year in college, also informed me she was moving out- time to fly. We’d both been struggling with finances and a pending move to a college in another city, and I was stunned- her choice was to leave our supportive home and spend her savings on her freedom instead of continuing towards her educational goal. Once more I found myself mourning the loss of the milestone of “The Big Move,” and asking myself what her future holds for her. 75% of my children have chosen paths that I didn’t even consider an option- none of them into trouble or chaos, but not where I had planned to walk with them.
It’s quite a different kind of change- and not what I expected, but you’re right: God has a plan and I must trust that the lessons that they will learn are more important in their lives than any that I might have imagined.
Praying in agreement with you to trust in the Lord with all your heart that He has His hand upon your children and that He will never leave them or forsake them and be there to catch them if they fall. Praying God will bring godly influences into their lives to draw them back to Him. Praying for you to be patient and to love them through this time but to also never hesitate to speak Truth in love and be their voice of Wisdom.
Blessings,
Wendy
We are leaving in the morning for Lee University where my Lauren will be studying Journalism, yes! She has been in community college for 2 years and this is fufilling her dream to go away to school. God has been very gracious in blessing her life and in turn blessing me. I think I am holding pent up tears that surfaced for a moment when I read your post….I dont know what shape Ill be in when we drive away on Sunday. Prayers, Prayers, please. She has been my right hand all her precious life….
I wouldnt keep her from her God given dreams for anything but the selfishness in me will miss her terribly !!
I just read your article with tears streaming down my face knowing my oldest will only go to bed here 2 more nights before leaving for college. It’s so weird, and comforting, to see that someone else knows exactly how I’m feeling. Literally like I cannot take a deep breath!
Someone once told me “only the healthy baby birds leave the nest”. I am so thankful knowing my “baby bird” is healthy. I’m just having a hard time knowing he doesn’t need me to drop the worm in his mouthnany longer! I am SO proud of the man he’s becoming ~ couldntbask or a better son, spiritually, physically, emotionally. He is truly a gift from God. I know I’ve done my job best I could raising him….. I’m so thankful God gave him to me. He is an 18 year old valedictorian, star baseball/football player, leader in clubs and youth group. However, he’s mine and I’m gonna miss him like crazy. My favorite verse: 1Samuel 1:27-28. “For this child I have prayed, and youve granted me my petition. All the days of his life I will give him over to the Lord…”. Time to put those words into motion, whether I’m ready or not.
Good Morning precious mamma’s. I just read through each one of these comments and prayed for each one of you and your children. Thank you for sharing your stories and your hearts with me and each other.
I pray that the Lord will remind us to pray for one another over the next few weeks as we all adjust to our “new normals.” I pray the God of all Comfort will be with us as we lay our head on our pillows at night. I pray He will sustain us when our heartache is so big we feel we cannot get up another day. I pray He will keep our hearts with our kids connected even though we are minutes, hours, or a plane ride away.
I pray for God’s hand to be upon each of our children away at school and for the Lord to bring into their lives godly friends, mentors, even professors who will influence them and encourage them in their faith. I pray He will open doors to churches and fellowships that will appeal to them and draw them in. I pray God will open their minds to learn and take in all knowledge they learn. But I pray too that He will establish their hearts in Him so that all worldly learning is tempered with the fact that He and He alone is the Source of knowledge.
Thank you for stopping by my web site, and I hope you will come by again soon!!!
Blessings,
Wendy
Thank you so much, Wendy, for these words of encouragement. We dropped our oldest daughter at college four years ago, and your right, joy did come later. She has grown in her faith, through her college experience, in ways we couldn’t have dreamed of. But, this week we dropped off twin daughters just starting their college experience. The mourning I felt four years ago has flooded back to me this week. But, God, in His faithfulness, just keeps reminding me about that “joy” and that it will come. I’m looking forward to the “double” dose!!!
Thank you Wendy!!! I’m praying for everyone as well…including you:)
Wendy,
Thank you so much for your words of encouragement…we left our first born son at college yesterday. It is funny when I got into work this morning my friend emailed me your blog…so this was one of the first things I read…made me cry this morning already…. It was just as you wrote…for me also! It is such a double edge sword…I am so happy for him and excited for his journey…yet so incredibly sad. I know I am ok…but I don’t feel ok.. I want him independent and ready to go forward in his walk with the Lord…but yet I want him at home!! ;o) I do know that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me…and He will strengthen me in and through this…
)
Thanks again…
Jennifer
Thank you for your post. God has filled me with the sweetest peace this morning. He has whispered words of encouragement over and over to me today, as I prepare to take my only child to college. God is so good and so faithful. I am so grateful to Him for loving me and encouraging right where I am at. I can feel the answers to prayers people have been faithful to ask on our behalf. Praise the Lord. He is so good.
Thank you to my dearest friend for sharing this site with me. Your message is so powerful. I love your easy reading style. I am the mom of three sons. One moved away to Nashville in July to begin a new chapter in life after graduating from college. My middle one will leave for college this Sunday. And my baby reported to basic training this past Sunday with the United States Navy. Got that really brief call (under 50 seconds) on Monday and do not know when I will hear from him again. Praying it will be no longer than a couple weeks. Your words are comforting!!! “And He will hold you in the palm of His hand.” At my baby’s send-off celebration I gave each guest a prayer stone to join me in prayer and to pray for all our service men and women. Holding that stone in the palm of my hand every day connects me to my baby and to the Lord.
Hi Melanie….I’m praying for you and your 3 sons right now asking that the Lord put His arms around all of you as you take these next big steps in your lives. I pray you can sense His strong arms right around your shoulders and you know you can lean on Him in every way. I can imagine how incredibly full your heart is right now…and how proud you must be. Sending my daughter off to college and my son off to basic training and then later, college, was so hard. But now, a few years later, seeing them as young adults well on their way to a happy, productive life is so great.
Please pass on to your youngest son my heartfelt gratitude for his military service.
Debby
Your words are so comforting. Thank you so much. It is indeed a happy and proud time, but nonetheless stressful. One of my favorite songs is “Eagle’s Wings,” so I wake up and play it every morning and start each day knowing that . . . “And He will raise you up on eagle’s wings,
Bear you on the breath of dawn, Make you to shine like the sun, And hold you in the palm of His Hand.” Thank you again for your thoughtful, kind and comforting words of encouragement!
Oh Wendy,
I was trying to convience myself that I shared in my youngest daughters excitment for her new adventure to begin. Your blog spoke to my heart and I realized it was ok to acknowledge this to be a bitter-sweet event. I share her enthusiasm for this new phase in her life, but am uncertain of what these changes will mean to me. It had been my hope to return to our hometown after three years of 7 hours seperation but God has something else instore for us. My heart is heavy as the reality that my children will now all be in Ohio and we remain in Indiana 5-7 hours away. However I hope to embrace this opportunity to renew my closeness to my most loving husband and to grow together in our spiritual life as well. It’s all in Gods hands and I am thankful that he spoke to me through your message. blessings!
i was surprised I didn’t cry when we dropped our 1st daughter off at school, I’m just so excited for her and this new journey. But then today got a text from her “I don’t like this”, and it made my heart sink. Classes haven’t started yet, but she is so uncomfortable with all of the ‘ice breakers’ and ‘team building’ activities that they are doing, which are supposed to make them more comfortable! She is painfully shy, and I know this is such a challenge for her. I know God is using these times to build her character and shape her into the woman he plans her to be. Please pray for her, and if anyone else has ‘been there’ with their child, I’d love to hear your stories
So grateful for reading this just now. I left my firstborn in his dorm room this morning and I have been experiencing those same emotions. Im so very excited and am overcome with such deep sadness that I wasn’t quite anticipating. I wondered if other moms felt this same sadness… I grieve for a era gone by… my little boy… Im excited as he has grown into a fine young man who has a promising future ahead of him. Hes everything I dreamed for him at this point and yet it seems that life forever changes from here forward. I have always know that I was raising him to launch into the world… but today I want to tie a string to him so he can launch but I can pull him back later. thanks again for everyone thats shared.
Thank you Wendy for putting into words exactly how I feel! Thank you Lee for sharing this with me. Though I am not gifted with the talent to write, I am gifted with the talent to read and feel what has been written and for this I am grateful. It was so encouraging to read about Lauren’s first summer back home, I loved that it was wonderful and not as hard to let her go again. God is so good.
Thank you sweet friend for being 2 Corinthians 1:4 personified. My heart aches for all of you Moms who are saying your goodbyes. I’m praying that God’s intimacy is deeper than ever for you as Moms and for your precious children. For us Moms who aren’t at that stage yet, you are giving us the needed lesson of cherishing each moment… even the not-so-fun-sorry-for-the-grey-hair moments. I love you.
I soon will be sending my daughter off once again for another year of training to that which God has called her to do. . . nursing! I am so very proud of this precious gift that God has placed in my life to care for and love. Things are going to be a bit different for her this year. Due to some health issues, she will be living off campus in a home setting with a group of girls that she knows from the church she attends near her school. Although I am somewhat “anxious” about this move, I do have a sense of peace that this may be part of the healing process for her. Thank you so much for sharing your heart. It is always easier to walk these steps along side other sister’s in Christ.
Grateful that I found this blog tonight. It’s a little after midnight and the last of the laundry is in the dryer. We are taking our only child, our son, to college tomorrow. While I’m grateful that it is only a 45 minute drive it might as well be 12 hours. I lost my grandmother on Monday and through the activities of the funeral and family coming into town I feel like I blinked and this last week with my son home is gone. I’m mourning my grandmother as well as my son leaving. I really don’t know how I’m going to get through it, he has been my focus for so long. My husband keeps telling me to be excited for this next step in his life and I am! But….I’m sad for me. I’ve been going through the motions of buying dorm stuff but inside my heart is breaking. I’m grateful for your post and the verse from Jeremiah, I will bear it in mind tomorrow.
~J.
Julia, God had me leave this up for you. I kept coming to write a new blog post, and I He never brought one to mind. This message was just for you today!! I am praying for your broken heart right now. ENJOY this day with you son…laugh, have fun, and let him know how loved he is. God will wrap His arms around you on the way home and will be with you as you walk this difficult road of saying goodbye. We are all together in this praying for one another.
Blessings,
Wendy
Thank you so much! It’s been ok….I enjoyed moving him into his dorm and going through the activities that the college had planned that day. When it was time to go, I held him tight and let him know how proud I was of him and that I loved him. He’s on my mind a lot throughout the day but I’m doing fine and he’s keeping in touch! I did read that bible verse again in the morning and it really lightened my heart all day. Thanks again!