June 9, 2014

A Father’s Prayers for His Daughter…Meet Rob Teigen/Great Giveaway!

I’m excited to introduce to you an amazing dad who has a beautiful heart for prayer. Rob and his wife, Joanna, have co-authored the books I am sharing today. I couldn’t think of a better time to connect you with Rob than just before Father’s Day. He has some amazing resources to share with the “dad” in your life. It might be your son, your brother, your husband, your uncle or even a friend. We all know God calls us to pray for our kids, but knowing and doing are two different things. Praying is hard…even intimidating. How do we do it? What do we pray? That’s why I invited Rob here today.

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Please share this post and Rob and Joanna’s books with a “dad” in your life. And Rob is not only guest-posting but also giving away THREE gift packs. So leave a comment today for a chance to win one of Rob’s great gift packs. Each gift pack includes Rob’s two books and the Conversation Starters!

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Meet Rob Teigen…

I’m thankful to Wendy for asking me to stop by her blog in honor of Father’s Day. Wendy and I connected when she contributed a wonderful story to my wife’s and my upcoming book, A Mom’s Prayers for Her Son: Praying for Every Part of His Life.  Her story is an encouraging example of the power of prayer in her life as a mom. This book follows on the heels of our first book about prayer, A Dad’s Prayers for His Daughter: Praying for Every Part of Her Life. I appreciate the opportunity to share a little bit about these books and my family with you today.

My wife Joanna and I have been married for over 20 years and enjoy life together with our four children. Josh is in college, Emma is 16, Leah is 13, and Anna is 10. This will be an extra-special Father’s Day for me because we’re just weeks away from finalizing the adoption of our 3-year-old son, Mason. That will make number five and we couldn’t be more excited! I have to laugh a little, though, about our crazy life where we’re paying for Pull-ups and college tuition at the same time.

A perfect day for me is a trip to the pool or a bike ride with the kids, and grilling up a meal to share at the end. With our hectic schedule, any time we’re all gathered around the table at once is a special event. I also like to drag my family to as many Christian music concerts as my wife (and budget) will allow. Books are big at our house–I’m currently reading John Piper’s Don’t Waste Your Life, Paul E. Miller’s book A Loving Life, and Moment Makers by Carlos Whittaker. I picked up a copy of The Fault in Our Stars by John Green for my daughter Emma and couldn’t put it down (please don’t think any less of me!). My favorite Bible verse for this season of life is Proverbs 30:5 “Every word of God proves true; he is a shield to those who take refuge in him.”  Now that’s a promise!

Enough about me–I should let Wendy get on with the interview.  Thanks again, Wendy, and thank you to all who stopped here to read about how dads can bless their families through prayer.

What made you decide to write a book about prayer? 

I talk quite a bit about the tremendous value of spending quality time with our kids, passing on a spiritual heritage, and giving our children the security of a deeply committed marriage. But the longer I’m a father, the more I see that my most vital gift to my kids is releasing them to God through prayer.

When I lift my children up to God I remember they are His. I’m able to surrender my hopes, dreams, and fears to His control. He reminds me that I’m not just trying to raise “good kids,” but young men and women that have fully committed their lives to Him.  I want my kids to have hearts that are truly devoted to the Lord, and only He can change their hearts.

Also, I believe that prayer is where we seek wisdom to know how to handle life’s situations with our children.  When I have issues or challenges as a dad I tend to go to two extremes: I either jump in too fast to try to fix everything myself, or I become passive and hope the problem just goes away. In prayer I can ask God for help to know when and how to step in, or when to stand by quietly and watch God move in my child’s life in His own way and timing.

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Why did you feel it was important to focus on dads praying specifically for their daughters instead of sons? 

As I mentioned above I have two sons, and obviously praying for them is just as important as praying for my daughters.  However, I do feel that as guys we can have a harder time understanding the unique challenges our daughters face.  Some challenges are universal, like academic pressure, sickness, or loneliness, but girls have distinctive issues of their own. I know my daughters will face struggles with body image, gossip, confidence, and a biblical understanding of their value as women. I’ll need an extra measure of wisdom from God to know how to protect them physically, emotionally, and spiritually as their dad.

Why do you think it’s important for dads to pray for their girls?

My greatest desire as a parent is to see my daughters mature into the women God has designed them to be. Without God’s help, I might actually become a hindrance to what he wants to do in their lives. One of my favorite passages of the Bible is the foundation for my writing and strongerdads.com–Psalms 127 says, “Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain.  Unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchmen stay in wake in vain.  It is vain that you rise up early and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil; for he gives his beloved sleep.”  How many of us are worrying and working hard to raise “good kids” of our own making.  Releasing our kids to God through prayer sets us free from fear and the pressure to be perfect fathers raising perfect daughters.

In prayer, I find peace and faith to trust in God’s power in the lives of my girls. I find guidance when I don’t understand their emotions or their needs. I find encouragement when things get tough—he promises to use every situation for our ultimate good. I find security by relying on him for their protection.

Dads, let’s start praying for our daughters’ needs before they’re in a full-blown crisis! I’m praying about my girls’ boyfriends and husbands now, even though those relationships are still a few years away on the horizon. I’m asking him to provide them with wisdom and self-control now, knowing that future jobs, grades, and driving habits will depend on it. I’m asking him to surround them with caring Christian friends today, so that they have a positive support system in place heading into their teen years. Praying for our daughters doesn’t guarantee everything in life will go perfectly, but it does build our faith and equip us for whatever comes.

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What would you say to encourage dads who feel like their prayers don’t change anything? 

We have to remember that God is the potter and we are the clay (Isaiah 64:8).  We can trust that God will use every situation in our children’s lives to mold them into the people he’s designed them to be. He can use pain and disappointment to teach patience and faith. He can use heartache to show himself as Comforter and Healer. It is through difficulty that our kids can discover how much he loves them.

We often want to use our prayers to change our child or our circumstances, rather than asking God to change us.  God blesses us with children for many reasons, but especially because they stretch our faith!  Nothing will bring us to our knees or make us aware of our total dependence on God like the needs of our children.  Go read the gospels—you’ll be as amazed as I was to see how many of those that came to Jesus were begging for help and healing for their children. Keep your eyes on God and the big picture of your life with your children. You will see his faithfulness and be amazed.

God loves you. God loves your child. He is mighty and able to do whatever we ask for them. He is good. Don’t quit praying—he hears you and he is with you every moment.

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What would you say to the dad (or mom) out there who is struggling with the choices his daughter is making?  How should we pray for them?

We need to remember that every one of God’s children was a prodigal at one point or another.  It was his kindness that led us to repentance (Romans 2:4).  Some of the best opportunities God gives to show his grace and unconditional love to our daughters are when they blow it.  Pray that God softens her heart to his truth.  Pray that she will see the painful consequences of sin and rebellion to God and turn back to him before she has to experience them for herself. Pray that she will come to the end of herself, see her need for the Lord, and run to him to experience the love, forgiveness, and mercy that he freely offers.

Pray that as her parent you can love her in spite of her choices. Ask for wisdom to know which limits and discipline will be the most effective in training your child. Ask for the strength to be silent when you want to criticize or lash out in frustration. Ask for the heart of Christ who loved us and gave himself up for us while we were still determined to go our own way.

What would you say to the dad whose daughter has made mistakes and she’s now paying for those mistakes?

That’s really hard!  None of us want to see our child experience painful effects of their wrong choices. It’s comforting to know that those consequences can do valuable work in teaching your daughter a better way. Put your arms around her and walk that road by her side. Remind her that God is not surprised by her sin. The first thing he did when Adam and Eve sinned in the garden was to seek them out and find them.  There were huge consequences for their disobedience but God made the clothing to cover them and made a way for their salvation.  He wants to do the same thing for your daughter. He is able to make her new—he wants to clothe her in his righteousness and draw her into a forever-relationship with him.

Pray that the painful consequences she’s experiencing will create a longing in her heart for the mercy of God. Ask him to open her eyes to see the freedom and joy that a life of obedience will bring. Ask him to humble her heart to admit her need for a Savior. And ask him for a tender heart as her dad that can love and forgive your daughter no matter what she’s done.

Any other thoughts on A Dad’s Prayers for His Daughter before we wrap this up?

I would encourage dads to just get started! Create a new habit of praying for your daughter every day. Get excited—you will see your faith grow stronger and real change happen in your family. You will grow in compassion and understanding of your child. You will create a rich legacy that can continue on in your daughter’s life as she prays for her own children someday. You’ll invite the power of God into the middle of your life as a father—prepare to be blown away by all that God will do!

Thanks, Rob, for sharing from your daddy’s heart today and for your generous gifts! If you would like to purchase any of Rob’s resources, click on the title below and it will take you directly to it. And visit Rob’s web site strongerdads.com.

A Dad’s Prayers for His Daughter 

88 Great Daddy-Daughter Dates

A Mom’s Prayer for Her Son (to be released 10/14)

I can’t wait for A Mom’s Prayers for Her Son to be released! Leave a comment today for Rob sharing how you incorporate prayer in your children’s lives. I will announce the three winners in my next post!

Blessings,

Comments

  1. Wow. What a great interview! Sounds like an awesome book. Having 5 sons and 2 daughters myself…I am not sure which is more daunting. 4 boys happened before the twin girls. Challenging some days to eh sure.
    Would love to win the book of course. Great giveaway and nice to see something for the men in our lives. Who, most of the time just don’t understand when the females in their lives enter giveaways or see books we must have. :-)
    Love the book list you gave Rob. :-) Enjoy seeing what others are reading.
    Thanks for offering this.

  2. Tough one today to read, although I am sure it is only me. My husband died of cancer almost 6 yrs ago. We had/have 3 daughters. The youngest one was 8. Thank you though, for this. I am sure it will be so encouraging for others to read. Just the blips brought challenges for me.

    • Dottie, I am so sorry for your loss. Praying God continues to pour out His mercy, grace and comfort on you as you raise your three daughters as a single mom! May He provide for your every need.

      Blessings,

      Wendy

    • Hi Dottie,

      I’m very sorry to hear about your husband and I can see why posts like this would bring some pain. I can’t even imagine. I pray God’s blessings and peace over you and your daughters. I trust that your daughters will feel the love of their perfect heavenly father even though I’m sure they miss their earthly one greatly.

      Thanks for sharing!
      Rob

  3. Just this very morning I asked God to lead me to a book that will help with the struggles I am feeling lately with praying. We have a prodigal son that we have been praying for going on 7 years and the situation just seems to get worse instead of better. It has really made me see I need guidance on prayer and what I believe about prayer. I think this email showing up on my inbox a few hours later is no coincidence. Thank you, Wendy! :)

    • Rob’s book is such an equipping book and a great model on how to pray God’s Word!

      Blessings,

      Wendy

    • Hi Stephanie,

      Thanks for your comments! I pray that our book is a blessing to you and I will be praying for you and your son in this hard situation.
      God bless you!
      Rob

  4. Susan Gruener says:

    This post was amazing. I read it with sadness though, as two of my grandchildren lost their dad last summer, and he never learned how to pray for them… Their mom (our daughter) and these two precious grandkids now live with us, and I try to encourage them, as we talk about faith, and as I pray for them. I have another son-in-law that this set would be perfect for if I win it. He’s one of the best dads I know! God is so good.
    Thanks Wendy and Rob!

    • Susan, what a beautiful gift for your grandchildren to have a praying grandmother who speaks and prays truth over them!

      Blessings,

      Wendy

    • Hi Susan,

      I’m sorry to hear about your daughter and grandkids loss (your whole families really). How amazing that you’re stepping in to help your daughter and grandkids. Can I just say there is just as much power in the prayers of a grandpa (and grandma) over these kids too. As hard as this is for your grandkids what a blessing to have such loving grandparents to encourage and lift them up.

      Will be praying for you all!!
      Rob

  5. nancys1128 says:

    Praying for my children, two boys and a girl, is an admitted weakness for me. Right now our daughter has a wonderful relationship with her dad. These items are great resources to maintain and enhance that as she grows older. She’s 13 now, and the years are really starting to fly by. Any help in further grounding her in her faith will be an awesome thing.

    • Yes, I have to say now that my daughter is almost 21….praying for her and myself as a mother during those teen years made a huge impact in our relationship and in our family. Prayer changes hearts and prayer knits hearts together. She has grown into a godly young woman who seeks God in her own life now. But there was a time when I thought that would NEVER happen!! God is faithful!!

      Blessings,

      Wendy

  6. Prayer is one of the Best Gifts that Our Lord has given to us to keep in touch with Him. Each child needs to be held close to God thru our actions daily. Praying (communication) with our Creator helps us help our loved ones and any friends or even strangers. Praying is so easy to do and it is a deeply Loving thing to do! It is just talking with the Being that Loves us so much. I see that myself or any Christian needs to be the Loving Spirit that is helping to allow God to use us sharing His love! All of us are meant to be “LOVE” in action serving our family and others. I do know that some people find prayer to be hard. So, I pray that these books help anyone; even if it ends up only helping one person. Why not open the door with these books? I just met someone who has a daughter and I would enjoy sharing this with them. It would be a new beginning for the three of us since I have not had any children of my own. Thank you for the opportunity to see the insights from Rob! Thanks Wendy!!!

    • Thanks for sharing such GREAT words on prayer!! And I join you in praying that Rob’s books will open the door to teach many moms and dads how to pray and pray effectively for their children.And how precious that God is using you to pray for other children since you don’t have any of your own. He has given you children for whom to pray! What a blessings for those families. :)

      Wendy

  7. Tava Sofsky's says:

    Thanks for the great encouragement! I believe, like with everything, prayer can be a habit… I go thru phases that I seek Him more than others… Those are the times that I am BEING STILL… Especially at the kids bedtime… And I was just reminded last night, as I prayed with/over my 9 year old daughter…as she fell asleep… That she can hear our prayers and hear our hearts seeking His will for her life… My daughter begs for me to pray to her at bedtime… It’s the nights I am so tired that seems harder at first, but afterwards, I am so thankful I make that precious time…and that she hears my cry to The Lord on her behalf… i have also found that prayering is easier right after you read God’s word to her, or him… because u can pray HIS refreshingwords over your children… i am trying to teach her to pray with me…she is learning but I also believe more is CAUGHT than taught,,,praying continuously for everyone in our family…in our lives should become habit ..or second nature!,,

    • Tave, what a beautiful picture you have created for her…her mother praying over her. She will always remember that time together. And you are instilling something in her that she will do with her children. And you are correct…more is caught than taught!!

      Blessings,

      Wendy

  8. Thank you, Wendy and Rob, for a wonderful post. I have a 20 yo son and a 17 yo daughter. Their father is not involved as a parent, so it’s me and God! My 11 yo niece has a wonderful father who struggles with understanding female issues. I would love to give this gift pack to him because I know he would use it to better his relationship with his daughter. Going to your website now! Thanks again to both of you.

    • Thanks, Susan. And I pray God will continue to use you in a mighty way as you parent your grown children!! They never stop needing us or our prayers no matter their age. :)

      Blessings,

      Wendy

  9. Love this post! Love reading about prayer and it’s power. I’ve been married 7 years and even though my husband and I haven’t been blessed with children of our own, we love children and we pray for many children on a daily basis. God is so faithful to His Word and prayer is powerful! We have a ministry to the homeless and financial/prayer partners. Three years ago we were worried about our financial support, and God put it on my heart strongly that the ministry is not just David and I, it’s our whole team (prayer and financial partners). And if the enemy attacks, he could attack anybody on our team. So we began praying prayers each day that are bible verses turned into prayers, over us our partners, children and spouses of all these people. Amazing have happened in the lives of many of the children of our partners. Some of these we wonder if it is because of the scripture based prayers we pray over them. Glory to God for all He does through prayer!

    God bless your ministry, Rob & Joanna. And Blessings to you, Wendy!

    • Amber, I have NO DOUBT that God is at work in such mighty ways because of your faithfulness to pray the Word of God over these partners and their families. What an amazing gift you are. May God continue to bless you MIGHTILY as you join Him in serving the least and the lost.

      Blessings,

      Wendy

  10. I love this post! This week I’m leading our Titus24U discussion on prayer and I got to reflecting on my life and the role of prayer in it. Growing up I really didn’t pray and aside from “Now I lay we down…” neither did my family, but I thought of times when God intervened in my life and thought some one was praying me through. Anyway I asked my husband when he started praying for his wife…in junior high. He’s been praying for me since I was a 5th grader and his parents were as well…typing this brings tears to my eyes. God hears our prayers and answers them!!
    But that’s not what you asked about! We incorporate prayer by praying daily with our kids and when different situations arise, we often encourage them to pray about it. Now I’m the mom encouraging my sons and daughters to pray for their future spouses. Looking forward to these books!

    • Jill, I too grew up praying “Now I lay me…” at bedtime and “Bless us o, Lord, and these they gifts…” at dinner. HOW MY HEART HAS CHANGED. It’s truly a gift to pray with our kids, isn’t it and plant the seed in their hearts so that they will carry on the tradition in their home. Thank you for sharing. :)

      Blessings,

      Wendy

  11. What a powerful post today! Both of my children have so much going on in their lives that it is hard to even know how to pray for them (if that makes any sense). Neither of them are married so I have been praying for godly spouses when that time comes.

    • Amen, Lori! I join you in that prayer of praying for godly spouses and I also pray that they would continue to deepen their love for God and His Word.

      Blessings,

      Wendy

  12. I would LOVE this book for my sweet husband!! He’s been such an incredible dad to our 2 daughters!! I have every “Praying Mom’s book out there — it’s great to see one for daddy’s!

    • I know! So much for moms to pray but dads are called to be the spiritual leaders. I find that so interesting. Thanks for stopping by today.

      Blessings,

      Wendy

  13. Love this interview Wendy! I am looking forward to “A Mom’s Prayers for Her Son” also! I pray more men read “A Father’s Prayers for His Daughter” and increase their prayer lives for their daughters!

  14. Thank you Wendy for introducing us to another of God’s Kingdom leaders. I am looking forward to reading Rob’s writings and sharing the resource to others.

  15. Great interview! My husband and I have three daughters ages 8,6, and 4. Prayer for our girls is so important! I also love the idea of a book with daddy/daughter dates. I have precious memories of dates with my Dad!

  16. Thanks everyone for your comments. Very encouraging to see all these women who love their families and want to be faithful in giving their kids, grandkids, etc. over to the only perfect father. I’m praying for each of you…

    Blessings to you all!
    Rob

  17. I have 3 boys and would LOVE to read “A Mom’s Prayers For Her Son”. We always pray at bedtime and meals together but now that my 2 oldest are 5 and 2.5 we pray a lot throughout the day… prayers of thanksgiving for the beautiful day or prayers for wisdom when we’re having a really tough day with fighting and drama. =)

  18. Margaret says:

    I am a grandmother at this point in my life, but I am sure there is lots of gold nuggets in this study that I will be blessings that I can share with my daughters and granchildren. So looking forwrd to reading this book and studying with the group.

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