August 10, 2014

Should I Say Yes or No? How Do I Choose My “Best Yes?”

Hey girlfriends! I’m so excited to be part of Lysa TerKeurst’s “The Best Yes” Blog Tour.  Today, I get to share a bit of how her new book, “The Best Yes: Making Wise Decisions in the Midst of Endless Demands,” has touched my life. Read through to the end  to learn how to join in promoting Lysa’s book AND LEAVE A COMMENT FOR A CHANCE TO WIN A COPY OF “THE BEST YES”!

***Winner of the “liquid love” giveaway announced at the end of this post****

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Bo (my sweet son) and I on a “Best Yes” day!!!

Let’s start with a few questions that I bet you can identify with.

Does your life feel like an urgent rush from one demand to another?

Do you live a reactive rather than a proactive life?

Do you find yourself stuck between two decisions, paralyzed by the thought of choosing one over the other?

This last one is where I found myself two weeks ago. Lysa’s message allowed me to choose MY “best yes” during one of the most trying times in my life as a mom. I was serving at our Proverbs 31 She Speaks Conference. Each day filled with responsibilities…things that my team assigned me to do.

Twenty-four hours into the Conference, I received a phone call from my daughter, who was interning in New York City, that she was sick, breaking out in some kind of allergic reaction. A bit distracted, I advised she head to the closest urgent care.

Despite treatment, her symptoms worsened throughout the day. I encouraged her to go back to urgent care the next morning and ask for more medicine. I continued with my She Speaks duties, but now she had me a bit worried.  By bedtime, she felt like she was struggling to breathe.  She clearly was not responding to the meds they gave her, and they couldn’t give her anymore. Both my husband and I were out of town. He in Kentucky. Me in Concord.  But he arranged for her to fly home immediately. Whatever caused this reaction had now invaded and overtaken her entire body.

I was terrified. What if they can’t control this? What if she can’t breathe? Who will care for her on the plane? What if we lose her?

The “best yes” seems obvious doesn’t it. Of course. Go be with your sick  child. That is the “best yes.” And, of course, that is where I wanted and needed to be. But what consumed my mind was how many people I would let down at the Conference. How many people would have to step up and take over my responsibilities. How many people who were already overloaded with their own duties would now have to pick up mine. So many emotions tangled up in my heart.

I knew where I needed and where my heart longed to be.  But lies infiltrated my heart. You are letting so many people down. Surely a close friend could step up in your place and call you if Lauren needs you. You could have worked something out.

As I hovered over her in  the Emergency Room, the condemning thoughts persisted. When her symptoms failed to improve, they admitted her to the hospital. I was terrified. This was my baby girl. In the dark of the night, as I lay by her side, my thoughts returned to all the women who were doing what I should have been doing. My heart raced. My stomach churned. But why? I knew I was where I needed to be so why didn’t I have peace?

Restlessness consumed me until the very women who stepped up to take over my responsibilities began texting me…powerful  prayers, beautiful Scriptures and WISE WORDS…words reminding me that I had responded with MY BEST YES by choosing to be with my daughter.

As they placed TRUTH in front of me,  God’s Wisdom drown out the lies!

In those crucial moments, God assured me that I had chosen MY BEST YES!

Friend, being equipped with God’s Wisdom and Truth is a GAMECHANGER in our decision-making. It makes us soldiers fully equipped for the decisions we will encounter in the midst of endless demands.

I had fallen victim to the evil one and allowed him, the one Jesus identified in the book of John as  a “liar” and the “father of lies,” to invade my thoughts and take them hostage, taunting me…lying to me…sending me to places I didn’t want to go. He didn’t letup until TRUTH came against him. It wasn’t until I stopped listening to the lies and began listening to and speaking back God’s TRUTH that he relented. And eventually, he slithered away with his big ole’ ugly tail tucked between his legs.

You see, sweet friend, TRUTH has a powerful way of interrupting the runaway thoughts and feelings that come in the midst of choosing our”best yes,” But if we don’t know TRUTH, we are powerless against the enemy’s tactics…his lying thoughts…his crafty deceptions.

I absolutely LOVE the three questions Lysa equips us with in Chapter 4 when we face difficult choices.

1. Have you been reading and praying through God’s Word lately?

2. Have you been applying God’s Word in your life lately?

3. Have you sought godly counsel and insights from wise people who know specifics about your situation?

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The key to choosing our “best yes” depends on having godly wisdom. Godly wisdom comes from one place and one place only…God’s Word! We must learn it, study it, believe it and store it up in our hearts!!

“The Best Yes” releases Tuesday, August 12th! Will you join me and our entire Proverbs 31 family in sharing this great news on your blog, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Instagram? Click here to find great quotes, banners and pins to share. And click here to purchase a copy. Our hashtag is #TheBestYes. Below are some tweets to get you started.

Living with the stress of an overwhelmed schedule? @LysaTerKeurst is showing me the freedom found in #TheBestYes.

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Decision-making. Ugh. Should I say yes or no? @LysaTerKeurst is showing me there’s another choice: #TheBestYes.

Will you join me in seeking God’s Wisdom so that together we can choose our “BEST YES”? Leave a comment today and share your favorite way to gather wisdom. I will choose one name to win a copy of Lysa TerKeurst’s new book “The Best Yes!”

 

*****The winner of the Liquid Love giveaway from my last post is  Eileen who posted on 7/25 at 9:03 am. Please send me an e-mail at deuteronomysix@aol.com with your full name and address so I can send you your books.*****

Blessings,

Comments

  1. Wow.. what an ordeal for you…Prayers for you and your daughter!
    we get so internally conflicted as women – not seeing the Truth… The best ‘yes’ is a book much needed because I know a lot of women like me who don’t know which way to turn, the right answer, the right decision… It is always within our reach though- reach for God’s Word!
    I have recently downloaded the Bible – YouVersion study plans, daily verses. I have them emailed to me as well as reminders. It is great way for me to gather wisdom everyday.. I set aside time each night now to read and reflect more. I also have daily devotions app on my phone.. when I have a couple of free minutes I read the days devotions and verses.
    Thank you!

  2. April Lopez says:

    I usually stop and pray. Yes, usually. But my very first response is panic. I have severe anxiety and depression so my mind wanders to fear and my body reacts in pain but if I stop and pray I usually know what to do. I would love to win this book. I could really use it.

    • April, you are so right, praying is always best, but it is not always where we go first. But in prayer, we will gain God’s peace and His Wisdom!!

      Blessings,

      Wendy

  3. Oh my goodness, can I EVER relate. I think most working moms can – especially if their boss has no children or mothering instincts. As a Christian mom, I, like you, know God has called us to family first. But, when reality hits and for some (me included) responsibility (and the REQUIREMENT to work full time), we are placed in a position of uncertainty due to the results of our Christian/motherly decisions.
    I have already signed up for this study and have agreed to share posts on my blog! I will get started immediately. Thank you so much for sharing your story! I have a feeling ALL THE WOMEN at the She Speaks conference were praying for your family! Next time you need someone, GIVE ME A CALL! I’ll do anything I can to help you!!!!!

    • Theresa, I am so excited you are joining the study. And your words about working moms are so wise. They, more than most moms, struggle with these kinds of decisions. And, thank you for offering to be their to help and encourage, that means so much! :)

      Blessings,

      Wendy

  4. Yikes! I’ve been right there, and you are right, no matter what decision you made the other one was tugging at you!

    I’m really looking forward to reading and studying this book. I am often between choices and over commit myself.

    • Me too, girlfriend! Just the other day at a school meeting, they needed someone to take on a small task. As I was about to speak up when one of my best friends put her hand up and said, “STOP.” She told me my plate is full and not to volunteer!! That is a good friend.

      Blessings,

      wendy

  5. I do seek The Lord for wisdom in his word & try to follow peace… I second guess what I hear at times… And then things pop up thru friends in chatting or a song or devotional .. Ect and it goes along with what I already heard <3 but it helps me to have confidence I'm hearing :)

    • Raylene, I too love when God confirms through conversation and songs what I think I have heard. That is why godly friends and being in a community of believers and worshiping together is so valuable in this process!!

      Wendy

  6. Stacey Chambers says:

    I’m looking forward to this book coming out. I’ve always felt like I can’t say no when asked to do something and feel guilty when I do say no especially when it comes to work and family. I am looking forward to reading what Lysa has to say on the subject and seeing what’s in the bible on this as well.

  7. Whoo! I think my need to keep everybody happy and be all things to all people can cause me to miss the BEST YES many times. As a recent widow, being a single parent has made me much more aware that my best yes is often going to be what is best for my 14-year-old son. Right now I believe my top priority after my relationship with Jesus is my relationship with my son…one that points him to resting in his Heavenly Father as we miss his dad. My morning quiet time will end with focused prayers for my boy and for my courage to be the mama he needs. I am SO excited about this new book! Haven’t ordered yet, so I’d love to win!! I love your encouraging messages always, Wendy!

    • Claudia, your sweet boy is so blessed to have a praying mamma who seeks after God’s heart for her son. I pray the Lord continues to provide for and equip you with all you need as you raise your son as a single mom!

      blessings,

      Wendy

  8. I am getting ready to head back to the classroom as a teacher and I am praying that I will make the best yes in not letting my job take over my life as it did last year, but rather I would allow God to show me balance and that saying no is sometimes the best yes. I hope your daughter is getting better. Blessings on sharing with us today.

    • Teaching took over my life last year. I felt like…well I actually know that I was not the best mother last year. When I wasn’t working on schoolwork, I was so exhausted that I wasn’t always totally available for my girls. I too am praying over this year. I will pray over yours, Tammy.

  9. I like to pray through God’s Word and then sit quietly in His presence listening with my heart and my ears.
    M. Waters

  10. Carol Bruntlett says:

    Wendy I cannot even imagine what you went thru being so far away from your child prayers for both of you .
    Thank you for posting this as I read your blog , I thought how many times I say yes in the midst of conflict without praying first and sometimes I just jump on the wagon and go with it and when I do it never ends up in a good place .
    So I am learning to pray before I make decisions and not be so quick to say yes .
    When my sweet mama passed away I had so much going thru my mind and heart it was difficult to make the decisions with a clear head because it happen so fast with her that my head was spinning .
    Anyway there was the trip down to the funeral thine that I wanted to make a decision that I thought would be good , but my cousin stepped in and took that what I wanted and made it what they wanted .
    Anyway I will not linger with this because what she done was wrong , but I am learning to leave in Gods hands because he knows and sees .
    But amongst the chaos , she my cousin took control
    So I am thankful that I did not let my emotions cause me to say things that would have been wrong .
    Thank you for posting this I am making better choices and praying before I get out of order ;)))))
    Hugs and blessing
    Friend
    Carol

  11. I am so excited about Lysa’s new book! I

    I gain wisdom just by sitting and meditating with God. I talk and cry to Him. He always leads me to a verse or gives me a song to hide in my heart to help me through the day.

  12. Susan Gruener says:

    My goodness what a terrible decision to have to make. I pray good health and wholeness for your daughter. Thank you for sharing that Proverbs 31 authors also have hard, hard decisions to make and go through trials! This book sounds fantastic – a must read!
    I can’t go through one day without talking to my Lord, reading His Word and asking for His wisdom for the day. I always want to be in His perfect Will and want Him to direct my steps!
    Great post!

  13. I praise God for the friend at SheSpeaks who sent you truth in texts. I completely understand your dilemma and struggle with the deceiver. It’s hard when you think you are letting people down. However, our God is a big God and he can accomplish what he needs with or without us. I would love to read Lysa’s Best Yes having already heard so many wonderful things about it. Yes, I will help promote it this week.

  14. Wendy, i felt i was right there beside you as i read this, i pray your daughter is on the mend and returning to full health, It doesnt matter how old your children are, they always need their mum.
    I cant wait till this OBS begins next month, I feel big changes well-needed ones are coming after i read/study this book and i cant wait. thanks for sharing your story with us all

  15. Michelle Vasquez says:

    I think most women, definitely those of us who are working moms, can relate to that awful tug in two different directions. I’m very blessed to work at a place where my boss believes that family comes first. When my boys were younger, I worked at a different job where it wasn’t quite that way. As for gathering wisdom, I stay in God’s Word daily, and I read a lot of Christian Living books too (because I am a total bookworm). Lysa is one of my favorite authors!

    I can’t say that I never panic in a sudden crisis, but it’s something I’m working on. I have to remind myself to stop and pray first before anything!

  16. Sometimes I find it hard to carve out time to read the bible so I started listening to it. Lots of wisdom in the Good Book. I use the You Version and I play it while I do dishes, go for a walk, have trouble falling asleep…. There are many times during the day I can find time to listen to His Word. Sometimes I have to rewind, because I get focused on something else, but that is ok. I don’t beat my self up. I just start over. I also gain lots of Wisdom in my bible study groups. If you aren’t in a bible study, I recommend you find one or start your own. So many gifts and things to learn.

    • What a great idea! I listen to books on my phone through Audible.com (new discover I love…especially when I fly), but I have never thought of listening to the Bible. Thanks for the great idea!

      Wendy

  17. I plan to get Lysa’s book and take her bible study. I am already looking forward to it.

    I ask God for wisdom when I read a scripture passage. I want wisdom “so that” I can take what I just read and apply it to my life today.

    I hope your daughter will continue to get well. You definately made the right decision to be with your daughter. Others could stand in for you at the conference but no one can stand in for you as a Mom.

    • Cynthia, your words have stuck with me for several days since I read them…”Others could stand in for you at the conference but no one can stand in for you as a Mom.” Such great words of comfort. I am asking the Lord to tuck them in my heart to share with another mom who may be in my position one day. Thanks for sharing such a treasured truth!!

      Blessings,

      Wendy

  18. Decision making has never been my favorite…as a teen, I’d often say, “I’m deciding not to decide.” My parents didn’t appreciate that much!! Now I know it’s so important to be in God’s Word and to look to Him for wisdom, insight and direction as I decide the big and the small things. And then the important step of following and making the decision according to His Word. In some situations we don’t have time to thorougly pray over and seek wisdom, so it’s important to consistently stay in His Word and be sensitive to the Spirit to be equipped to make the quick decisions too.

    As a Mom of 5 sometimes it’s also challenging to make the best yes when two (or more) kids need you in different ways or places. Then we add to that making the best yes when it comes down to husband/kids.

    Needless to say I’m looking forward to this book! Thanks for sharing! How is Lauren doing?

  19. Elizabeth says:

    Thanks for sharing your struggle. I hope your daughter continues to improve.
    I am very excited about this book…because I consistently struggle with making the right decisions for our family. Ignoring the workd’s view, ignoring the opinions of others…. For wisdom, I get in the Word and I pray and pray. I would love to read Lysa’s thoughts. Thanks for the opportunity to win!

  20. Thanks for the giveaway!
    When I need wisdom I ask God’

  21. Teresa Ahrenholtz says:

    Ive read a few chapters of Lysa’s book through a free trial. I cant wait to tead the rest. Im constantly trying to do whats best for the Lord and seek where He wants me to.be. When seeking wisdom, i go to those i trust and know have a strong relationship with the Lord. I also go to my husband.

  22. Jackie Beran says:

    God’s timing is always so good, isn’t it! :-) Just exactly when you needed Lysa’s message. And I love how God used the other women in your life to reaffirm that you made a wise decision. I used to let other people’s expectations and opinions of me guide my decisions a lot more before. But I am thankful that God has brought me out of that bondage (not that I don’t still go there occasionally!), because many times it would leave me paralyzed. Unable to make a decision. Struggling between pleasing God and pleasing man.

    So how does a person get that wisdom and freedom? Well, God mainly shows me through His Word, prayer, and leading by the Holy Spirit. To quote a recent speaker I heard, “It’s hard to follow Him if you don’t know Him.” The more I get to know the heart of God, the more I understand and want to follow His will for my life. I have also found that being consistently and closely connected to a group of Christian friends has been so helpful as we are able to share our experiences and encouragement from Scripture with each other. My husband is also a very strong anchor in my life and can help me gain a better perspective when needed. But all this has been a journey, and one that I’m still on! It’s a lot easier to say here than to actually do in real life! But God is faithful!!!

    • Jackie, these are all such valuable ways to gather wisdom. Thank you for sharing them. I especially love that your husband is a source of godly wisdom. What a gift!!

      Blessings,

      Wendy

  23. Wendy, praying your daughter is fully recovered! I often struggle with knowing I have made the right choice, my “best yes”, and sorry and guilty about whatever opportunities or appointments I feel I have neglected… Sometimes it is as simple as helping my daughter with my grandson vs. Helping my other daughter with my granddaughter…. I often feel like life is one big “quandary”… I refer back to the questions Lysa offered us in “what Happens when Women Say Yes to God” and prayer in His Word and in my heart…always with Hope and confident expectation that God hears me will answer my prayers in His perfect timing! Still…my heart feels torn…

  24. Wisdom…always comes from God. It may be Klove’s verse for the day, Proverbs 31 Facebook post, the words or prayers of a Christian friend, one of my devotionals or books that I’m prompted to pick up and read, a timely sermon…and sometimes, it’s the thought I hear that I know is not my own.

  25. Shelly Green says:

    As soon as I realize I’m in a panic, I slow down and pray. That helps me more than anything. Sometimes at first I want to call a friend and bounce my dilemma off her (talking things out really helps me to see things more clearly), but then I remember that God is also my friend and knows the whole situation and the best answer. Also, I’ve noticed when something in particular is bothering me, ver timely devotionals show up in my email at work! This helps keep me grounded as well.I would love a copy of this book, both for myself and to pass along to someone dear to me that could use it also.

  26. Stephanie Kenaston says:

    That is awesome! I love it when things like that happen. When God uses someone in my life to speak truth to me and combat the lies that keep me worrying and stressing on the fence of a decision. Right now I really only seek wisdom in God’s word and I really need to figure out how to get reconnected with people. I had a God moment the other day with a stranger, but for the most part I disconnected when my husband and I were separated. We got Christian counseling and stayed together, but our old friends and people at church have moved on and don’t want to socialize with me. It is a struggle. Maybe the Best Yes book could help me in growing through this.

    • Yes, Stephanie, I agree. I join you in praying for the Lord to open doors to a community of women with whom you can walk alongside as you study God’s Word, pray and worship. Praying He will open your eyes to see as you seek this community and grant you great favor as you walk through the door!

      Blessings,

      Wendy

  27. I gather wisdom from immersing myself in God’s Word, but also in surrounding myself with like-minded Christians; women who have amazing life experiences to share!

  28. Mitzii Roughface says:

    I went through a spell of saying yes to just about everything. When I did start saying no I began feeling like I’m part of nothing sometimes. Finding a true balance has been difficult.

    I love receiving blogs from several women from Pr31. I follow those that I feel truly speak to me. I have done devotionals from other great speakers. Sometimes I feel like I’ve hit a brick wall in reading the word, like I don’t know what to read. This is why I love receiving from other people as God has used it as a door to speak to me.

    I think God is truly answering my question on what to do and how to do what with this book as it’s coming out on my birthday. :) If this isn’t a way to get your attention that He’s speaking to you, I’m not sure what is. LOL. I can’t wait to get a copy so I can see what He has to say.

  29. actually for me, collection of wisdom (and consequently trying to choose the best Yes) comes from reading daily Prov. 31 devotionals and following you ladies in your personal blogs. I feel like I can store up (and have access to) so much information on just about any area of life; and in a way it is a mode of prevention- I love reading examples from your personal lives and how you either saw God through them or applied God’s truth and wisdom and Word; how it built you up further as Godly women. It is such a blessed opportunity to learn from you, so I try to remember these noteworthy lessons and applications, so I can apply them in my own life when I go thru similar situations. Thanks to you all, I think I am a bit better than I naturally would have been to go thru them with a (more) correct attitude that (hopefully) would please God too.

    • Thank you for your sweet words of encouragement about Proverbs 31 and how God uses our messages to bless, encourage and equip you. That is the cry of our hearts every time we sit down to write!! And I pray that those devotionals and messages lead you to God’s Word and give you confidence to read and hear what God says to you!!

      Blessings,

      Wendy

  30. I read my devotions each day and open up God’s word. I also set aside at least 20 minutes of quiet time with my Lord, usually it is listening to Worship songs and reading his word….

  31. Wendy,
    Some day I hope that we meet so that I can explain what getting your book meant to me and how it started me on a journey with Proverbs 31 and strengthened my journey with God. Am joining this new study and would LOVE to win her book:)

    • Oh, thank you for your words about my book. That blesses me so much as I sit down to continue writing my next study. And I’m excited you will be joining our next OBS study!

      Wendy

  32. Meg Derosier says:

    My favorite ways on gathering wisdom are prayer, bible, and daily devotionals! Praying that your daugher is ok!

  33. So many of you asked about Lauren and said you are praying for her Thank you, thank you from the bottom of my heart. She is still on the predinisone and other meds to keep her hives at bay. She goes off the medicine tomorrow so we are praying the hives and the extreme reaction she had will not return. Instead I pray and believe with all my heart God has healed her.

    She will need to see an allergist as soon as the meds are out of her system because we still have no idea what caused this extreme reaction in her body. It may have been something she ate, but it didn’t seem she ate anything out of the ordinary. She had sushi, but she always eats sushi. Praying for answers from the allergy testing, may all things hidden be revealed!!

    Thankful and grateful for each of you. Thank you for all that you shared from your heart about our topic and about our ministry. You are such treasured friends in my life.

    Wendy

  34. maria gloria says:

    Hope your daughter gets well soon. I gather wisdom with Bible verses & devotionals.

  35. I’m trying to learn to say YES to GOD first and then prioritize the rest of my day after God gets my best. It is so hard to turn everything off and focus on GOD. We are so tempted by social media, work demands, family, and trying to please everyone. I have decided my time is valuable to GOD and me. I cannot be my best if I stretch myself too thin. Would love to win this book. Love the P31 Ministry.

  36. Amber Chapais says:

    i think the best way i fing wisdom is from God’s Word, but i wouldn’t learn much if i didn’t get taught by bible teachers like you. thank you so much for being a great teacher, i love your writing, and Lysa is another great writer.

  37. Jessica P says:

    As I am becoming closer to God and diving into His Word on a daily basis I have learned that the best wisdom comes from our Lord. I have been working very hard on making God my go-to person and to remember to pray first.

  38. My favorite sources of wisdom are reading, memorizing, meditating, and praying Scripture, calling a friend (or family member) who speaks Truth and Life to me, and seeking biblical counsel from my husband or from a Christian “life coach”.

  39. My prayer for Lauren – Lord, please guide her physicians to help determine what caused the reaction. Is it viral and just needs to work its way out of her system? Is it an allergy to food, the environment or medication that needs to be identified and avoided? Please allow the medications to work so Lauren feels comfortable with few side effects. Please strengthen Wendy with peace of mind and wisdom so she can listen keenly and ask questions during appointments. For what it is worth – been there with several of my children. I understand! God will guide you as it is sorted out.

    My favorite way to gain wisdom and knowledge is reading the daily bible verse and Proverbs 31 devotional on biblegateway. Great way to start my day. The devotionals so often touch me right where I need it. Like today.

  40. Hi Lysa, thank you for sharing with us. I am charged with guilt for saying yes when no should have been the answer.
    In our busyness of life we can get so caught that we sometimes don’t even hear clearly what was the question and so we give the wrong answer. This can be detrimental to both us and our kids.
    I pray that as we become more educated through your emails and blog we will always choose right.

    Thank you for always speaking right to my heart. Its very challenging living with two teenagers and their challengers a well.

    Take care and God Bless.

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