February 20, 2017

Marriage Wisdom from Sharon Jaynes (w/Giveaway)

I’m excited to welcome my friend, Sharon Jaynes, to my blog today to share her new book, “A 14-Day Romance Challenge: Reigniting Passion in Your Marriage.” You will be blessed by her words of wisdom AND her GIVEAWAY! Read through to the end of the post for a chance to win a copy!

What do you do when you’ve lost that lovin’ feelin’ in your marriage?

Maybe you truly adored your husband in the beginning, but now you can’t remember why.

Maybe you honestly admired his finer qualities, but now you can’t remember what they were.

Maybe you appreciated his wonderful attributes, but now you take them for granted.

Between taking out the garbage, paying the bills, running the car pool, mowing the lawn, disciplining the kids, and folding the laundry, sometimes the passion of marriage gets lost. It happens to all of us at one time or another.

We can get so busy taking care of life that we forget to take care of love.

None of us got married so we could have a long list of chores. If you’re like me, most likely you got married because you were madly in-love and couldn’t imagine life without your man! You got married because your heart skipped a beat every time you laid eyes on him.

You couldn’t wait to tie the knot and build a life with this incredible person God had miraculously brought into your life. Maybe you still feel that way. But maybe you could use a little reminder—a re-stoking of the romance.

In the book of Revelation in the Bible, God had this to say to the church at Ephesus: “I hold this against you: You have forsaken the love you had at first” (Revelation 2:4).

Ephesus was one of the most loving churches in the New Testament, and yet somewhere along the way they lost that initial thrill of knowing Christ. Their love for each other and for God had grown cold.

So how do you get that lovin’ feelin’ back?

God gave the church two simple steps, and I believe we can apply them to our marriages as well. “Consider how far you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first” (Revelation 2:5, emphasis added).

Remember how it was in the beginning.

Return and do the things you did at first.

One day I took John’s words in Revelation to heart, and decided to remember and return by romancing my husband for fourteen days straight.

Can I tell you, I was a little bit nervous about it?

What if he thought I was silly?

What if he didn’t respond?

But I took a deep breath, push the fear aside, and began to romance my man like I did in the early days.

Every day wasn’t earth-shaking romance, even though there was some of that.

One day I simply put a sticky note on his bathroom mirror that said, “I love you.”

Another day I placed a box of Red Hot candy on his car seat with a note that said, “You’re a hottie.”

One morning I warmed up his towel in the dryer and had it ready when he got out of the shower.

And you know what happened? At the end of the fourteen days, Steve had a skip in his step and smile on his face like a Cheshire cat.

And what happened in me? I can hardly describe the love that welled up in me, as I loved my man well. Hear this…I changed.

I don’t have a big, bad personal story of how God took a terrible, tumultuous marriage and miraculously transformed it into a storybook romance filled with white-knight rescues, relentless romance, and rides into the sunset leaving all danger and darkness behind. Although our marriage has been all that at one time or another, it’s no fairy tale.

Our marriage is a daily journal, one page after another, one day after another. I’m guessing just like yours.

Some entries are smudged with tears; others are dog-eared as favorites.

Some days are marred by unsuccessful erasures that couldn’t quite rub away hurtful the words said; others are finger-worn by the reading of precious events time and time again.

But on those days when I see my marriage slipping back into the mundane cadence of passionless routine, I pull out my list of ideas, and put a smile on Steve’s face.

And that’s my challenge to you and to me today. When we see the fire needs stoking, remember and return. It may be a little scary at first, but be brave and begin!

What is one thing that you can do for your husband today to remind him of how much you love him?

Leave a comment and tell one thing that attracted you to your husband when you were dating. We’ll randomly pick one name and send a FREE copy of Sharon’s new book, A 14-Day Romance Challenge: Reigniting Passion in Your Marriage. I’ll announce the winner next Tuesday.

Sharon Jaynes is a conference speaker, devotion writer for Girlfriends in God and Proverbs 31 Ministries, and author of 21 books. Her latest book, A 14-Day Romance Challenge: Reigniting Passion in Your Marriage will help you step out of the mundane routine of life and captivate your husband all over again. With encouraging stories, Biblical principles, and over 250 simple ideas on how to romance your husband, Sharon will show you how to put a smile on your husband’s face. Just in time for Valentine’s Day!

Comments

  1. He made me feel like most important person to him.

  2. He always had something to say that would make me laugh.

  3. I had just started working at a new job in a new state and didn’t know anybody. I saw this man walk by my office and when I looked up at him I said in my head and felt in my heart that I was going to marry him someday. That night I even called a girl friend and told her I found a husband. She thought I was crazy. Our very first date I brought my brother along because he just showed up. I thought that would be a great test of meeting the family. It was the best first date ever. 2 years later we did get married. That was almost 23 years ago. Now I work days and he works nights. Not much together time for anything. Oh we make it work, but yes that something from long ago is missing. We’ve had our high ups and very low downs, but together we make it through. I would love to get some ideas for a kick start back to those olden days of romance. He’s not a big flower candy guy, that’s for sure. We’ve never done the Valentine’s day thing. Little random things when he least expects them work best. Blessings to you Wendy, you always have the best blogs!

    • Annette, that is the coolest thing … that the first time you saw him, you knew you would be his wife. Wow!! My husband and I are not big Valentine’s Day people either. One of my best friends said last night at dinner, the best Valentine’s gift to give to our husbands is to express our love to them EVERY day of the year, not just one. 🙂

      And thank you for your kind words about my blog. They bless me today as I continue to write and teach.

      Wendy

    • Oh girl, I know he would love the suggestions in the book. We need to get you two working the same shift! Something to pray about!!! I had a friend who wasn’t a Christian in the same situation. I told her I was going to pray about their shifts being different so they could go to church with me. And guess what? His shift changed!! Just sayin’

      • Ha ha, it was a blessing when he went to the night, we were both having a hard time for different reasons although some were related, but things are better now. He loves working nights and if I could I would, but hard to do considering I have a mostly outdoors job. Trying to figure out how to enhance the time we do have together. It’s not like I never see him. He will be starting a new job, same work, with a new company but he doesn’t know his new work schedule yet. So there is a chance…

        Thank you both!

  4. Marilyn in East Texas says:

    After 40 years of marriage I still love his easy-going personality!

    • Marilyn, my husband is the same way. And that is NOT how I grew up. My house was very much -type personalities. So it was like a breath of fresh air. However, there are times that attitude drives me crazy! 🙂

      But most of the time it contributes the BEST family atmosphere, and it is contagious. I have changed because of him, and that is good.

      Thanks for sharing.

      Wendy

  5. The first thing that attracted me to my husband was his smile and his genuine caring that showed through his actions to me as ithers

  6. He was the youngest, yet most stable person I ever dated. I knew I was going to marry him when we saw each other a few years later. It’s been 32 years since we got married. I love him dearly. He told me not long ago that he’s not in love with me anymore and wants to leave. We have four children. The best thing that has come out of his confession is that I have become even closer the God. My spirit’s being renewed. Hopefully my husband will come to know Jesus through all of this. That has been my prayer for the last 23.5 years.

    • Oh, Melissa, I stand with you praying for your husband’s salvation. And I pray the Lord will continue to draw you closer to His heart as you walk this journey. And may God heal your husband’s heart and restore your marriage. Thank you for being so honest and sharing from your heart.

      Blessings,

      Wendy

    • Melissa – God is in the business of raising the dead to life, and I believe with all my heart He can restore your marriage. Don’t give up! Keep praying and loving him. We stand with you in prayer!

  7. My hubby is fiercely loyal and protective. (Plus, I’m not going to lie, he’s a mega hottie. #megabonus) We moved to Texas from Florida for my job just over a month ago. He had to quit his job and right now he’s a stay at home dad. Definitely not the cultural norm and I strive to show him how much appreciate all he does; takes care of our sweet girl, cooks, cleans, does laundry, and more! I’m always looking for new ways to show him how blessed I am to have him in my life. The longer we’re together the more incredible he becomes. I only hope he sees me the same way, that I’m growing to a better wife each day. #hedeservesit #crazyblessed #hesmine

    • PS. I told him after two dates that we were getting married. He didn’t believe me. Hehehehe

    • Love what you shared, Heather. I know you have had quite a journey with your job situation and marriage, and the Lord is blessing your faithfulness and obedience. It has been amazing to watch God move in his heart over the years to bring you to the place you are today!!

      And, girl, he would be crazy not to see the superstar in you!! We all do.

      And, I never knew that about the two dates. So fun!!

      Blessings,

      Wendy

  8. Beverly Wright says:

    One thing that really attracted me to my husband was how much of a servant he was. I noticed how much he thought of others, especially within our church. He also made a point to make sure I was protected and that I felt protected. He continues to be a servant within our church and community! I thank God for that heart He gave him!

  9. Mary Jo Cyr says:

    My hubby and I were married at age 18 and 19. We dated for 3 years prior – all through high school. We loved each other deeply then and still today, HOWEVER, ‘today’ it seems as if we are losing some of our ‘attraction.’ I absolutely love him and I know he loves me, but……..the spark certainly needs to be reignited.

    • You are not alone. A lot of us here have written the same thing. To reignite what first attracted us to our husbands so that we can fan the flame once again! I love that you met in high school and are still together. A testimony to you both!

      Blessings,

      Wendy

      • Mary Jo Cyr says:

        Thank you for acknowledging my comment! Yes, reigniting the fire would be a good thing! But, I am thankful for the love that holds us together – God! ❤😊❤✝

  10. Jolene Gerlach says:

    I saw my husband walking the halls in high school and hunted him down. Found out that he was a Wiccan. I went up to him at lunch and said I was Ted to borrow a Wiccan book because in my Sunday school class we were studying pagan religions. He said, if my book goes-I go. I ran home after school to call my Sunday school teacher and his answer, than God, wasI guess we are studying pagan religions this Sunday! We dated all through high school. That same Sunday school teacher baptised my husband. Since then there hasn’t been a week when he wasn’t teaching Sunday school or leading junior high kids, or working in some mission of some sorts. We married at 18 and are still going strong. I am always looking for ways to show how much I love him and appreciate him.

    • Wow! Jolene, this is such a beautiful God story. The best part is that once your husband fell in love with Jesus, he was like the woman at the well, wanting to share the love and hope he found with all he meets. Thank you for sharing your story with us!!

      Blessings,

      Wendy

  11. Mandy Frank says:

    He always smelled amazing & his smile reached shined through his eyes.

  12. The first thing that attracted me was him throwing popcorn in my hair at a basketball game in high school and to turn around and see that smile. That smile still gives me a thrill every day even after knowing him for 50 years.

    • Wow! I LOVE, LOVE your story. Another couple who met in high school and remains together today. Thank you for taking the time to share your story. It made ME smile. 🙂

      Blessings,

      Wendy

  13. I loved the way he was with his son, who was 6 at the time. He was a single dad and put his child first. He is a big kid himself, and children flock to him, no matter here we are! He is amazing!!!
    And those beautiful blue eyes! Oh my goodness!!! SWOON!

  14. Shannon houlemard says:

    The fist time me and my friends saw my husband I told them I had met him before and no one could believe me because I couldn’t remember his name. (I’m so bad at manes). We all thought he was so cute I told them all that’s the boy I’m going to marry one day. After the game he walked up to me said “hi Shannon”, my friends were in shock and we have been together since. His smile and the way he always wanted to hold my hand and just be around me made me fall in love with him. 19 years later and 4 kids we have been up and way down but stuck through it. There were times when I didn’t think we would make it and almost didn’t. But we’re here still.

    • Hi Shannon, that is so cool that you “knew” in your heart all those years ago you would be his wife. And I love another “smile” story. And I am thanking God for you both taking your marriage vows seriously and trusting the Lord, even through the hard times. May He continue to bless you both mightily as seek to honor Him in and through your marriage.

      Blessings,

      Wendy

  15. KC JACKSON says:

    1st attracted to his smile & good looks 😉and that we just enjoyed being together… talking or walking around campus. Didn’t have to be a ‘date’.This year we’re celebrating 40 years.

  16. The first thing that attracted me to my husband was his sensitivity. He can read a situation better than any man I’ve ever met and has a real gift at making people feel at ease.

  17. The first thing that attracted him to me was his broad shoulders and gorgeous red hair. Once I got beyond the surface, his maturity and sensitivity had me hooked! Married 30 years this October. It hasn’t always been easy but it sure has been worth it.

  18. Honestly I told my husband today to pack and leave because I can’t do it no more. And God sure watching me because I found these message today 14 day romance trial. GOD is amaizing

  19. Oh, his sense of humor was and still is the key to attraction! That, his above average intelligence and his musical abilities drew us together. Later I learned that his “responsibility quotient” was rather lacking and he was and still is a procrastinator about many opportunities. In spite of these, I have loved and supported him in all he does to support our large family. Yes, we need a romantic burst that will wake us both to all the features that drew us together. I used to leave him little love notes here and there. One time a came out of the shower only to find he had hidden all my clothes (I had very few in those days) and he had replaced a Treasure Hunt type note in place of clothes to send me finding same. What fun that was! God bless us.

    • Mary, thanks for this glimpse into your marriage. The sweet acts you did for each other are also in Sharon’s book!! May God continue to bless your marriage with fun and creativity. 🙂

      Blessings,

      Wendy

  20. I am not married yet and would live to read his book before marriage! 💕
    Thank you for the this opportunity!!

    Melissa

  21. I love how he enjoyed talking to me, about everything, anything and everything. We shared a lot in the early years

  22. I was attracted by his quiet yet in charge personality. He made me feel special and completely taken care of…. I would love to read this book.. Some days I feel there is no romance in our marriage any more..

  23. We had only been dating about 6 months when my sister was tragically killed in an accident. Even though he did not know my family that well (I had just started college) he was a solid rock; incredibly supportive! He brought food to my parents home and stood by me when even my very best friends did not know how to handle such an intense situation. He revealed so much character and while I already found him so attractive this just opened my eyes so much to the young man he was and what a great man God would mature him to be!!!!

  24. P.S. that was 30+ years ago!! We have had so very many peaks & valleys…..deep, dark valleys!! I know now as we approach the “empty nest” arena we need to re-engage and learn about making our marriage a priority again — for so long it’s been kids, paying for college, health issues….. God has brought us through so much — I’d love to do more to appreciate him

  25. Once I was traveling to meet him in a town I was very unfamilar with and he stood out on the side of a busy highway to flag me down even though I had gotten lost and was very late…. he did not give up on me! What a guy!

  26. The first thing that attracted me to my husband was his eyes and that he always made me feel beautiful!

    I have never considered my marriage when reading Revelation 2:4-5. Will never look at those verses the same again. Thank you!

  27. My husband’s kindness is what attracted me to him. I was just coming out of a pretty abusive (verbally &emotionally) relationship, and he was there for me…my shoulder to cry on if you will. He also has a sebse of humor that makes me laugh even when I just want to spit fire. I do love him.

  28. Marcia Whaley says:

    This sounds really simplistic – my husbands smile. His smile drew my attention to him before I even knew his name.

  29. At first I thought he is really cute. As we got to know each it was very easy for both of us to share our past and to accept each other. We all have baggage. Also I was attracted to him because he was very adventuresome and liked to go out to lots of different places. I even rode on the back of his motorcycle for several years which I had never thought of doing before. Mainly he did believe in our Lord and Savior. He introduced me to our Christian radio station KHCB. Thanks for the opportunity to write about this.

  30. Julie Woodman says:

    His smile and gentle, caring nature

  31. He loves/loved me just the way I am. He didn’t want me to change at all.

  32. Ronni Holley says:

    He loved the Lord! I had never seen a man show so much Christ in his actions. I must say, Christ still looks good on him! ❤

    • THAT is probably most beautiful character trait to have in a husband. What a blessing to be loved and cared for by such a godly man. Thank you for taking the time to share.

      Blessings,

      Wendy

  33. My husband had the most wonderful sense of humor! He was always laughing! He had bright red hair – not what I normally thought of when I thought of my “dream man”….I thought I liked “tall, dark and handsome” – guess what? I fell in love with “Big Red” because of his humor and his heart! My son was born with reddish hair that turned dark as he got older. And now my grandson is a Ginger! So cute – a little Opie Taylor! I miss those days when we laughed and laughed…..

    • Shirl, your story made me smile with your three red-haired men. I pray the Lord breathes fresh love and laughter into your marriage!! Thank you for taking time to share.

      Blessings,

      Wendy

  34. Evan Stratton says:

    I knew he cherished me and always would.

  35. Lisa Belcastro says:

    His sense of humor. I can laugh so hard and long my jaw aches. 😀

  36. We met at a ballroom dance studio. His willingness to learn to dance and his willingness to dance with me is what attracted me at first.

  37. He gave me confidence that I had never had before. The first that ever really made me believe in myself!

  38. Karen Parlier says:

    Wow I am excited to try some of these ideas for me. I take him for granted and I should not do this, I need to show him my love for him and him alone. I thank God that he is such a godly person and enjoys learning about God in his word. This is what attracted me to him is his love for God. Thanks.

  39. We will be celebrating 35 years of marriage on June 26th and looking forward to continuing our life together. He treats me like his queen and I am so very grateful.

  40. He took the time to listen to me and cared about how I felt.

  41. Christine Smith says:

    His encouragement and love for the Lord

  42. What a life-giving ministry and book! Thank you Sharon and thank you Wendy. Our Papa shines so beautifully in and through both of you! What first grabbed my heart with Ryan is also what sustains us. He so ruggedly, tenderly and lovingly resembles Jesus. I love his right-side up mindset even though it is upside down and foreign in this world. I feel like royalty being his suitable helper. I get to laugh, cry and mine amazing depths with my groom of almost 15 years. Praise God! So much love and gratitude to you lovely girlfriends! Xoxo

    • Noelle, I can attest to all that you have said. Thank you for this window into your marriage. Your husband is also loyal and faithful. You got a good one! 🙂

      Blessings,

  43. Kellie Cooper Metzker says:

    When I first met my hubby, he seemed a bit shy. Here was this bear of a man, 6’5″ 280 lbs, trying to ask me out, but stumbling over his words ❤️ From our first date we were friends. That relationship grew slowly and lovingly. We were married on the 2nd anniversary of our first date. He looked so sweet and ahy again as we said our vows. I just loved how he will show his vulnerability to me 💕💕

  44. My husband & I met in college. One of the first things I noticed was how he listened. He still does

  45. Lesley Boyer says:

    I was attracted to the man I married 40 years ago because he seemed to be a Godly man.

  46. He was different….I didn’t realize God made men like this. He did things for me that I didn’t even know I needed done because I had just done them for myself for so long. He truly treats me like a queen and I couldn’t ask for anything more. He is so special!!!

  47. I knew Job in high school and though we didn’t talk, I appreciated the fact that he was a “good” guy who worked hard and everyone knew his faith was important. After he graduated, his dad passed away and he stayed on the farm with his mom and took it over, which let me see his love for family and willingness to sacrifice. We started dating in 2000, shortly after I accepted Christ. On about our 3rd or 4th date, he brought up faith and made two statements – “I’m not going to be in a relationship with someone who loves me more than the Lord.” And – “Divorce will not be an option.” It was then I realized my first boyfriend would be my only one – I fell in love with a man who is committed to Christ and me. Grateful for the reminder because like everyone we could use a spark – 16 years and 5 kids change things a bit!! 🙂 So thanks for writing the book Sharon and for sharing it Wendy!

  48. I know I need this when I honestly can’t remember why. Was it the ticking clock? We liked to cook together and entertain, but now that’s all on me. We’ll become empty nesters next year and need to discover a future together.
    I need to rediscover the romance but I’m very nervous.

  49. My husband was a car salesman at the time and I told him from the beginning that I didn’t believe a word he said. This only fueled the fire of cheesy lines and making me laugh. He pulls out one still when I am on the verge of completely falling apart and gets me crying and laughing at the same time. He also tells the kids crazy, outrageous lines to get them laughing too!

  50. Stephanie davis says:

    The love he had for his gma. He cared for her and you could tell he would move mountains for her.

  51. His smile and how much he cared for me.

  52. Tabitha Schillinger says:

    So, he loves to sing and dance….as in, make up his song and put it to motion. Nope, he is not a singer or a dancer; in fact, he is the opposite. He is not afraid to have fun and be silly. I DIG that about him!

  53. Gail Carlisle says:

    I’m sitting here trying to think of what to say. We love each other; we’ve been married for 37 years. He doesn’t like to go to the movies, occasionally, we’ll go out to eat. He works all day – covering 2 people’s jobs, until they “hire’ someone one else. He’s got a hot temper, he used to be big into church, serving, even taught a SS class. So., I don’t really know something that led me to him to start with – it just happened. We started dating in August and was married in January! <3

Speak Your Mind

*