February 2, 2012

I Choose NOT to Be Offended – Giveaway

If you are visiting here today from my P31 Devotion, I Choose NOT to Be Offended, welcome!!  I am so thankful the Lord brought you here today.  Please know I have prayed for you because I prayed for every woman the Lord would draw here today.  Be sure to read to the end for a chance to win a copy of Jesus Calling by Sarah Young.

If you are one of my on-line Bible Study girls participating in our Hebrews Study please click here to go to the Hebrews Chapter 10 lesson and video message.

It was hard to write this devotion.  I don’t know about you, but it’s hard for me to admit when I am at fault.   Especially in a situation like my devotional today.  It seemed much easier to find fault with the other person’s heart (and be offended) than to examine my own heart.  But through the words of my daughter and my husband, God really forced me to examine my heart.  And how grateful I was.

However, I don’t think I would have gotten to that place if my heart had not already been tender and open to God’s Word.  Because I spent time studying Scripture (not always daily but enough to be familiar with it), God met me with Truth to combat the lies that were filling my head….the lies that caused hurt feelings…the lies that thought the worst of others.

So, how did I take that first step of recognizing the lies I was believing and the sin hiding in my heart?  God led me to some powerful biblical principles that required me to answer some hard questions…questions I want to share with you today.

God instructs those who have a teachable heart?

Do you have a teachable heart?

God teaches those who fear Him.

Do you fear Him?

God speaks to those who listen.

Do you listen?

God responds to those who pray.

Do you pray?

God works in and through those who obey.

Do you obey?

The bottom line is that change begins with a teachable heart…a heart that willingly receives the Lord’s instruction. 

It requires a humble heart

It requires a willing heart

It requires a surrendered heart.

It requires discipline and sacrifice.

We must be willing to bare our heart and soul and ask God as David did in Psalm 139 (ESV)

Search me, O God, and know my heart!

Try me and know my thoughts.

And see if there be any grevious way in me,

and lead me in the way everlasting!

To this day, I struggle with baring my heart to God.  I don’t know why because He knows my heart.  But what I do know is that when I pray this prayer, He is faithful to reveal what in my life displeases Him.  He takes what I confess and surrender, roots it out, and through the power of His Holy Spirit enables me to walk in a fresh new way with Him.

Friend, I have so many places yet to surrender.  But I have found great freedom in choosing NOT to be offended…in choosing to really listen to someone’s words before I judge them.  I sift them through a teachable, prayerful heart.

I would love to hear from you today.  Maybe you have a verse you would like to share.  Maybe you need a teachable heart for an issue in your life.  Maybe you want to share a success story with us.  Please leave a comment or prayer request today for a chance to win a copy of Jesus Calling

Also, if you are interested in signing up for my on-line Bible Studies, simply click the “Subscribe” button in the sidebar.  By signing up, you will receive an invitation for any future on-line Bible studies.  If you want to get a taste of what an on-line study is like, I invite you to check out our current Hebrews Study by scrolling down past this post.  And if you have any questions, please leave a comment and I will get back with you.

Thank you again for stopping by today.  I pray the Lord will richly bless you today for taking time from your busy day to spend it learning more about Him and His Word!

Blessings to you,



  1. Recently, my husband and I suffered the loss of our twin girls due to twin to twin transfusion syndrome. Although I am somewhat strong in my faith, this loss has taken it to a new lever. I am learning to have to lean on God daily. To pray for just enough strength for the day and sometimes just the next hour. Continually remembering the story of Hannah. Although in a different way, we too have given our precious girls, Annalise and Emmalyn, back to serve God forever.

    • Oh, Miranda, my heart just breaks as I read your words. I am so very sorry for your loss. My prayer for you now is for God’s promise…Blessed are those who mourn for they will be comforted…will come alive in all its fullness in your life. May you experience the depths of that comfort. May God’s ministering angels surround you 24/7 and provide for your every need, physically, spiritually, and emotionally. Your heart is beautiful to look for God and His Hope in this. May you continue to hold strong to the solid Hope you have in Christ Jesus. May He be your anchor during this time.

      Sweet Blessings,


    • Dear Miranda,

      My heart reaches out to you in the love and compassion of our Lord. He is faithful and He will see you through this difficult journey. As hard as it will be at times, keep your focus on God who is perfect and whose ways are perfect. We do not understand His ways but we are able to trust Him. One Scripture passage that helped me when we lost two of our children was Isaiah 53:4 “Surely He has borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows…” I would tell Him many times, Lord, this is too heavy for me but thank You that You have already borne my grief and carried my sorrow. Allow yourself to grieve, but also accept the healing as it comes.

      With prayer,

      • Lord Jesus, I do not personally know Miranda, but You do. Lord, I am so sorry for their pain. Lord, I humbly ask You to help Miranda and her husband cope with this. Lord I stand in agreement with everyone who prays for you, especially Wendy and Kathleen. I pray that your heart and mind continually seeks God. And I pray you see Him everyday. I pray for your marriage to miraculously be strengthened and your bond and commitment to become all God created you two to share. Lord, I pray You provide for every single need of miranda and her husband. Lord, please bless their finances, their health, their heart and their spirit. I imagine they’re hurting badly right now. Lord, help them both trust in You with all their hearts and lean not on their own understanding. Heavenly Father, the Psalmist says You are a very present help in times of trouble. This family needs You and I trust you to bless them and let this tragedy turn into their mission. In Jesus mighty name, I pray. Amen

    • Oh Miranda… I say a huge Amen to Margot’s prayer… and I stand with Wendy and Kathleen with a heart aching for you and your husband. Sweet girl, I literally don’t have words… and I am asking the Holy Spirit to intercede with groans that we cannot understand. I am hugging you and not letting go…

  2. I don’t have any scripture to add to this post, but I did want to say thank you for posting it. I find myself worried about what others think and finding myself easily offended, and I searched today for daily bible studies to help me center my mind on the things it SHOULD be each day. I came across the proverbs31.org site and your post there, which led me here, and your words really spoke to me. Thank you. I will indeed reflect on this today and return for more. 🙂

    • So thankful the Lord brought you here today! I look forward to getting to know you better, Trixie! My Proverbs Bible Study, All Things Wise and Wonderful, is a study that addresses this issue. You can purchase it through our Proverbs website as an e-book.


  3. Wendy,

    Thank you for posting this today. It was exactly what I needed to read. I struggle with this issue all the time and now I know that I am not the only one!

    Please pray for me so that I can also have a teachable heart and choose not to be offended.

    Thank you so much for your ministry !

    Blessings ,

  4. I needed this today. My mom consistently, not constantly though, says things and does things that show that she prefers my brothers children over mine by choosing to spend time with my niece and nephew and NOT being willing to spend time with my two. I’m wanting to seek my mom’s “approval” of my children.

    I like the way you said: “He is the only One whose approval I need…, I sense God is pleased as I honor Him by choosing NOT to be offended.” That really clicked for me. Thank you for those words.

    If I think about it, I’d MUCH rather have God’s approval than my mom’s. He has so much more power and authority.

    Also, I just learned that you are doing an online Bible Study. My schedule makes it hard to get together with other ladies when they have Bible studies. No excuses now! Thank you again!


    • Romans 2:29 Heart of Paul (HOP)
      Being special to God is an inward matter and true initiation into God’s family is in the heart. The time children are more concerned with His acceptance of them than they are with human acceptance or rejection.

      God gave me this scripture and until this week I had no idea why. I had several instances (all through my life) but mostly this week where I actually had to choose to not be offended when I was treated like I was not even in the room ( and all by Christians.) That would have been hard, but God gave me this scripture before it even happened. That to me was an awesome miracle. Then today He gave me Psalm 31 and it confirmed to me that I could forgive and go on because God loves me and that is what matters. Of course, I did check my heart to make sure I didn’t do anything deliberately to cause it and I can walk in peace toward these people and know that I need God’s approval; not man’s. . Your devotional really made me think and realize that without our Lord I cannot have any victories and that I need to be forgiving to those who have tried to offend me. That person may have more problems than me. Thank you for this devotional. It gave me a better perspective on it. I love to read your devotionals. Praise the Lord! I have the victory in Jesus’ name.

  5. Annette Davidson says

    I am working so hard on having a teachable heart. I suffer with Anorexia and I know God is leading me down the right path to regain my strength but why am I so resistant? Please pray that God will break through this barrier because I know that with God all things are possible.

    • Annette, thanks for writing. My prayer for you is that God will engrave on your heart how HE created you and how HE sees you….forgiven, redeemed, a new creation, beautiful, created perfectly just the way you are for a GRAND purpose He has for your life. Praying through the power of His Holy Spirit, He will enable you to believe these powerful truths and move your heart to walk in them each and every day!!

      Blessings to you,


  6. Thank you for today’s devotional. I find myself offended and worried about what people are thinking and saying about me far too much. One area that causes me distress is my body. I have “long feet” and have been ridiculed all of my life about my feet. When I go for walks or run in the park I cringe when i pass people because I think they will notice my feet and make fun of me. I have had adults and children do this and my mother would fuss at me because purchasing shoes for me was expensive. I am working to get past this and your devotional was a much needed line of support. I have printed it out and plan to hang on to it and reread it often. Thanks again for sharing this!!

    • Lora, I am so thankful the Lord brought you to this devotional today to minister to and encourage your heart. I pray that He will fill your heart with truths about how He loves you and created you with a wonderful purpose for your life. May you keep your eyes focused not on your feet, but on your Father in heaven and on the plan He has to use you. There are many women and children who struggle with physical appearance. Because you know Him and seek after Him, I pray He will teach you valuable truths that you, in turn, will be able to use to encourage others!!

      Sweet Blessings to you,


  7. Wendy,
    I get several devotions via e-mail and rarely take the time to read them all. As I was deleting them this morning I notice that the Proverbs 31 devotional said something about offense. I HAD to read it.
    I am struggle with offense, especially with my adopted teenage sons. What they say can destroy me and I effect me for weeks! The Lord wanted me to read this today because He loves me too much to let me stay in an offended state! THANK YOU!

  8. I so enjoyed your devotional this morning!! It really spoke to my heart!! I too get my feelings hurt easily and it really made me think about needing others approval so much. Thanks for reminding me that His approval is what I need most!!

    Thanks for your willing heart to share with us His truths!

  9. Hi Wendy, thanks for this devotional. I have always tried to win my mother’s approval by going out of my way to please her, but when I don’t receive what I feel I deserve from her, that’s when I take offense at everything she says or do not say or what she does or do not do, affects me so badly. thank you for reminding me that God is my parent and it is only from Him that i should look to for approval. I pray for God to search my heart and remove everything that is not pleasing to Him regarding this situation, I open my heart for Him to work in me, to heal wounds for me and my mother and restore a strenious and broken mother-daughter relationship.

    thanks again, God bless!

    • Lucia, I so identify with your story. Thank you for sharing your heart. I join you in praying that you will see yourself through no one else’s eyes but your Father’s. When we get to that place, it is such a blessing and a true place of freedom!! Praying that freedom for you today.



  10. Thank you for this devotional. Until I read your post, I didn’t realize how much I do this very thing. Prayerfully & with God’s help I will work on changing my attitude & behavior.

  11. Thank you so much for this reminder! For many years, everything offended me. After I was saved, God took that away from me. Lately, however, I find myself beginning to be offended by others’ words so it’s time to remove this attitude from my life again…

  12. God used your devotion today to speak to a spot where I am struggling. I recently had surgery and few people have expressed their care. I know (in my head) that others do not demonstrate their care in the same ways I do but my heart still feels hurt. It is an ugly thing to admit that my I’m not feeling loved & cared for. I work part-time outside the home, am a pastor’s wife and in several women’s groups. I know a lot of people and show my care to others when they struggle. My expectations get me in trouble every time.
    I’m sure I’ve read Proverbs 19:11 many times but have missed this amazing verse.
    I will begin using your idea about saying to myself when hurt-
    “It is to my glory to not receive this as an offense.”
    Thanks for your honesty.
    Lord, give me a teachable heart!

    • Thank you for sharing your heart. I felt those same feelings when my daughter had surgery a few years ago. There were certain friends who I had ministered to in the past who were so noticeably absent during her surgery, and it hurt! May God bless your honesty and humility and give you that teachable heart you are claiming. But I also pray that in the next few days, He will bring a gracious act of love across your path to show how He cares for you and knows the pain in your heart. May someone show the same love and care you show to others to you, sweet friend!

  13. Wendy,
    Thank you so much for your devotion today. It ministered so much to me. I have been struggling with this issue for years and you opened my eyes to see how Satan has been using it over and over again to bring old hurts back to me. Pray that I can get rid of some of the deep roots that have grown over the years. I want so much to have a humble, willing and surrendered heart….

  14. Hi Wendy and ladies,

    This subject has been on my heart for the last few days. A friend lent me the new book by Beth Moore on insecurity, and the first few chapters rang true for me. Even my teenage son will tell me I am too sensitive–although I don’t feel insecure or easily unsettled, I do let other people’s careless or off- hand comments ruin my day. I think of myself as confidant and caring, but my inner thought life does not reflect a calm and loving person.

    In fact if someone is having an off day and seems to say something hurtful, it seems to penetrate and sink deep inside where I will reflect on it the rest of the day. In private, I have noticed that I respond in a snappy tone or even make ugly or sarcastic remarks to my own family. It is something that I feel ashamed about and wish I could erase those ugly remarks permantly as I seem to be the worst with the people who love me the most!.
    Thanks for the devotion.

  15. Wendy,
    Thank you so much for posting this devotional, you mentioned it was hard to write, however I really needed to read this. We are planning to visit family this weekend and I did not want to go. I can admit that I am easily offended and re-think about what the person may have meant.

    I try so hard not to offend others that I get easily offended when people have no consideration in what they say. But ultimately I never realized I walk on egg shells just to find acceptance and this is with close family.

    I wrote down the scriptures you gave and even what you tell yourself “It is my glory not to recieve this as an offense”
    I will use this going forward and remember your words about only needing acceptance from God.

    your devotion was right on time. I feel confident in visiting my family now and how to listen Objectively to what they are saying and this visit will be my first practice on not taking offense to what they may say. A huge weight has been lifted off of my shoulders.
    Thank you so much and God Bless 🙂

    • Savannah, first I love your name. It is beautiful! Second, God’s timing is always perfect. I pray He will use His Word and the words that spoke to you from the devotional to gird your heart and mind for your visit. I pray He would give you opportunities to speak words of life and encouragement to your family and that He would bless your obedience. I also pray a protective shield about your heart so that if the words come, they will not cause hurt. Rather, the Lord will remind you of the Scriptures you have learned and of the freedom that comes in choosing NOT to dwell on their words and not to be offended.


  16. I feel so grateful for reading your devotional today. I struggle with being offending on a daily basis and noticed that I’ve been extremely exhausted from taking offended so personally by the words spoken and replaying them in my mind with my anger and hurt. I’ve been dealing with chronic stress as a result of this. I can relate to everything you said about being oversensitive by people’s words. It is hard to have new thinking patterns but I will try my best to ask god to show me how not to feel so much hurt and painful especially when it comes to the loud tones from my husband which I take as mean, negative and critical. Immediately I often reacted and ended up feeling more hurt by my reaction. it is so hard for me to respond to him with respect when he sounds so loud and harsh. That always put me on the defensive and I get so angry and offended that I often failed to do what god requires of me. I have yet to learn to be quiet and not talk back when he gets like that, which is pretty often.

    • Yes, when the words come from someone we love deeply like a spouse or a parent, it is all the more difficult to choose not to be offended. I pray the Lord will take your every though captive to the obedience of Christ. I pray He replaces every negative, hurtful thought that comes in and replaces it with a beautiful truth or promise. I pray He will show you the beauty of who you are in His eyes!! May you see your self through His eyes and stand confidently in who you see you are in HIM.



  17. Thank you so much for sharing this devotional. Although the Lord has been really helping me in this area He used you to give me another tool. I love how you shared that you say “It is my glory not to receive this offense.”

    A while back a friend of mine shared with me that I ought to be careful to not take on a victim’s mentality. Due to my circumstances she knew it would be easy to see myself in that light. Powerful words from God’s mouth delivered through her mouth. I am so thankful for a faithful friend.

    Lord, please keep my heart teachable, humble, willing, and surrendered.

    Thank you for sharing so we can learn together.


    • Love your prayer and pray in agreement with you!! And thank you for your words of encouragement. I love knowing the Lord has usedthe devotional to speak so specifically to one of His daughters.


  18. This morning’s devotional really touched my heart. I too am always offended by what others say to me and am always wondering “what did they mean by that?” I will often dwell on it for days. Reading your words today REALLY helped me. I thank you so very much.
    God Bless You!

    • Thanks for sharing so authentically from your heart. That is the first step! May God bring you truths and promises to continue your journey to choose NOT to be offended. It is a very freeing place to live.



  19. Thank you so much for this very timely devotion. I felt like God was speaking right to me. My husband and I own a business and recently sent out a survey to our members. 90% of the survey is positive but I had chosen to focus on the 10% of the negative comments. Knowing there is some truth to some of the negative comments (not all), I felt angered and offended. I have been praying for God to soften my heart and allow me to extend grace to those I have felt offended by. This devotion though allowed me to realize it is my own pride and need for others’ approval that has left me feeling raw and exposed. During this time we have also had a couple that we considered to be friends treat us in a way that is not very friend-like. This is made worse by the fact that they are fellow believers. I have been feeling offended and hurt by their actions, but think it may again be God using this circumstance to speak to me and into my heart about how He sees me. Thank you again!

    • Oh, I am so guilty of the same thing. I always do a survey at the end of each Bible study I teach. 90 percent or more come back great, but there are always a few negative comments. My defenses rise up immediately. And you are right. It is our pride that does that. It is always better to do as you did and filter it through God’s truth. Find the comments based on fact and reality and work on those areas. Find the baseless criticisms and give them to the Lord and PRAY for that person. Usually they are broken and hurting inside. It is even worse when the hurtful words come from believers. They should know better…we as believers know to speak truth in love and that our words should be edifying and encouraging to build one another up. I pray the Lord will help you with this filtering process and that He will continually remind you to CHOOSE not to be offended and to focus on Him and your value and worth in His eyes!!


  20. Thank you for this message. I let the cruel words of one particular person go deep. I have a hard time accepting that God is telling me to not let it bother me instead of God telling this person to stop being so hateful and cruel. I don’t understand why God allows this person to behave this way and He expects me to just take it.

    • Sweet friend, this person’s heart is filled with so much unhappiness and anger. She takes it out on you and probably others. If she does not know the Lord, His Spirit is not in her to speak to her heart and mind to control her speech. But He is in your heart. I pray that He will use you and others to show her God’s love and goodness. I pray that He will be a shield about you to protect your heart from her painful words. May you understand deep in your heart that she is the hurting one and you are the blessed one. I pray that God will work through His Word and Spirit to help you CHOOSE to not be offended by her hurtful, hateful, cruel words. They truly do not matter even though they hurt so much. Pray for her…you will be surprised what God will do in and through your prayers!!


  21. Wendy,

    I just recently started receiving the “Proverbs 31” daily devotions and each one has proven to be a God send. But yours is one He really wanted me to see!

    In just the past few days I have been “bothered” by comments my best friend has made. They are a kind of “I told you that a long time ago” comment when I am telling her a story about how God has been moving in my life. I had to ask myself if I was offended because she was “stealing” God’s Glory…or mine. Turns out she did point out those things to me before but in a different context at the time, but my feelings of never being good enough started popping up when she felt the need to remind once again. The enemy can be such a pest!

    So, through your devotion, God is reminding me that He is not easily offended and since I am His child,
    made in His image, I shouldn’t be either!
    Thanks for Godly wisdom!

    • So thankful the Lord’s timing was perfect for you today! The hurtful words of friends are some of the worst. Praying the Lord will strengthen you and enable you through His Holy Spirit to CHOOSE not to be offended!!



  22. Wendy,

    I know God wanted me to read this post because He has been convicting my heart of this very thing! I struggle with always trying to do everything so I don’t have to hear if there are negative comments or things said about me because I am doing everything I can. God has spoken to my heart that it is not necessary to do everything because I need only His approval. I pray daily for His strength and surrender everything over to Him.

  23. Wendy,

    Thank you so much for this wonderful reminder of focusing on the Lord and not on ourselves. It is indeed humbling to realize how perceived hurtful words of others can spiral me down to way too much self focus and negative self talk.

  24. Lynn Bowman says

    Hi Wendy! Thank you for such a wonderful message. My family has always described me as tender-hearted. While I like the implied meaning of being sensitive to others and being understanding, it did often leave me in a position to be easily offended. I, too, realized that I was seeking the approval of man. This was a hard pill to swallow. But God. Through reading and studying His word I am coming to realize that He holds my heart and He treasures it. He speaks truth and love into me through scripture and I am learning to seek only His approval. You are so right in saying that we have a “choice.” It’s not always easy. I find this to be especially true when dealing with family members (e.g., husband and kids)! Each day is a challenge but with God, I can do this! Thanks again!! Be blessed.

  25. It is amazing when you know God loves you so much that he puts the words you need to Hear in the perfect moment you need to hear them as He did with this devotional. I was on vacation but decided to check work emails. I was feeling so offended and angry. It was aout to ruin my day but in obedience and desiring the word of God I chose to go to Proverbs 31 and pow….got just what I needed. Now I thank the Lord and can enjoy my time visiting my friend.

  26. Teresa Hall says

    OH! I needed this word today! I find that recently I can become offended at almost anything! Jumping to conclusions, taking things personally, having an entire conversation in my mind with someone who isn’t even in the room- and you know that means a big old argument where I am oh so right and the other person is simply wrong, wrong, wrong! Lord, forgive me when I take offense– especially when the whole problem is RIGHT BETWEEN MY EARS!

  27. Jude from PA says

    Wendy, I am a Hebrews bible study person but I want to tell you that last week I found out I am getting laid off soon. I have a long history with problems with depression. recently I had been feeling really good–Praise God! but since finding out I am getting laid off my mood has become somewhat depressed and anxious. I just am not my usual self. I am trusting God for another job, in my mind I know things will work out, God has always taken care of me. but my body is saying something different. so I would truly appreciate your prayers for my mood and anxiety. Thank you,

    • Hi Jude,

      Thank you for sharing where you are. The evil one is stealing your joy and the good plac you were in. He is fighting to keep your eyes on your circumstances. Do not let him win. I stand with you in prayer and boldly ask the Lord to fix your eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfector or your faith Who has a good and perfect plan for your life. Whenever you feel those feelings come, put on the mind of Christ and think on what is lovely, pure, excellent, and praiseworthy…the things of God!! He will be faithful. God is your greatest advocate. Trust Him. He will care for and provide for you.



      • Jude from PA says

        Wendy, Thank you so much for your words. They really spoke to my heart and gave me direction on how to spiritually combat the feelings of depression and anxiety around my circumstances – J.

        • Jude from PA says

          Micah 7:8
          New Living Translation (NLT)

          8 Do not gloat over me, my enemies!
          For though I fall, I will rise again.
          Though I sit in darkness,
          the LORD will be my light.

          Thank you Ginny!

    • Jude, read Micah 7:8. That has become one of my go to verses when I battle depression Praying that you are reminded that with God on your side you WILL rise and not be defeated by the enemy!

  28. Vonnie Kronk says

    I too needed this today BUT everything takes Long time for me to process since my Brain Injury. I Need Prayer to be patient in healing since Our accident happened going on 4 years ago.

  29. Wendy loved the devotion today and your follow up post. Very timely message. I am on the path to CHOOSE not to be offended. I desire a teachable heart. I pray with David, search me O God, and know my heart. I have a long way to go but I’m not where I was. One of the verses that I hang onto Isaiah 43:1 .. Fear not; for I have redeemed thee, I have called thee by name; thou are mine. I’m really starting to know that I am His. Thanks again Wendy for your powerful words and teaching. Blessings to you.

  30. Hi All…reading through all these posts has opened my heart and eyes about this topic! My daughter and myself have often said to each other “Why did that person say that about me when I would never do that to them.”

    Now I see that I need to own up to how I react to hurtful words or actions. Wendy, thank you for showing me I have a choice and I don’t have to allow those offences to enter my heart and mind. This can truly be a stronghold of Satan’s we can undo and be free from.

    I also wanted to say that a friend gave me the book “Jesus Calling” and I love it. I have learned so much from it.


  31. Hi, Wendy. Thanks for this devotional. I am so glad my friend told me about Proverbs 31 and all the many gifts it has to offer. It has really started to open my eyes about how I truly am and it’s not as pretty as I would like. I’m growing, but have such a long way to go. I am grateful that our Lord is so kind and patient with me, revealing what I need as I need it and allowing me to process it so that I can become the woman He wants me to be. Thank you for your commitment to all of us. My God richly bless you as you bless us.

  32. Charlene B says

    Dear Wendy,

    I too struggle in this area, my children say that to me all the time. Mom why do you let your feelings
    get hurt so easy. Also I cant let it go, it drive me crazy and they have already forgot what they said.
    Then later I will say something about it and they will say are you still on that . We were just joking.
    Thanks so much for this today it was right on target. Thanks got for using Wendy, and thank you
    for listening. Charlene,

  33. Thank you so much for this post today. I’ve been told that I am a sensitive person, and I find myself offended by things people say or do, especially particular people in my life. I think I have found that I may use my sensitivity as an excuse, and its definately time out for that, as I am a twenty-something young woman who has recently completed graduate school and trying to enter a career in difficult times right now. I too need a teachable heart in so many ways.

  34. Wendy, Thanks so much for this very timely devotion. Your transparency is so appreciated. I will be spending the evening with my mother-in-law and have been praying all morning for the grace to get through the night. It’s not that she’s a terrible woman, but she says things that are so hurtful and sometimes just plain foolish. I’m writing this verse down and putting it in my pocket so I can bring it to mind throughout the evening. God is so good – He answered my prayers through you – Thank You and God Bless You!
    – Kathryn

  35. God’s timing is awesome. I am the hardheaded type of person and sometimes a literal picture has to be drawn for me to see something. God has used you today to draw that picture for me. I now know I do have a choice whether to take the offense or not. Why was I so blind before. I thought they were speaking truth over me—that they could see something in me I could not see for myself.

    Thank you again and again!

  36. I find that for me it isn’t always what they say, but what they don’t say too. For instance when i get a new hair cut and show up at church my feelings get hurt because no one seems to have noticed because no one says anything. Or worse case, my mind takes off down a different path telling me that no one has said anything because they can’t think of something nice to say. I need to let go and trust that God thinks I am special and let that be enough, everyone else who might think that is just the icing. Sometimes it is really easy to let our flesh influence how we see ourselves and that is when our feelings get hurt. Thanks for sharing and reminding us that we aren’t alone in these thoughts!

  37. Well again I feel like someone stole my diary. 🙂

    I spent many years this way also, and I too am a work in progress.

    Wow all the time I spent in life ticked off at someone, and holding whatever against them (forever). I am still working on it but Wendy you are so right when you talk about giving it over to God and the peace you feel when you do it.

    Lately the thing that has been really helping me to “check it at the door of my heart” and give it to God – is whenever something is hurting me or making me angry I remind my self that God is the Judge, and Jury in all situations and that He is the vidicator (not me) and my protector.

    So it’s easier for me to let it go, knowing that God has me covered better than any other person ever could. He alone is my Strength and my Sheild.

    Blessings to you all,

  38. Wendy, thank you for today’s devotion about choosing not to be offended! I have been down these same roads — spending time and energy mulling over and re-hashing conversations with others when I’ve felt offended in the past. I would think of things I should have said, but of course, didn’t think to in the moment. That’s so typical of me — I get emotionally short-circuited and never say the clever thing! But you know, in hindsight, it’s better — I would have probably made many situations infinitely worse if I had. I am grateful for a God who cares so much, that He wants to counsel us on how to see ourselves through His love, and how to see others with His love, too.

    • Yes, Breinny, God graciously holds our tongues to protect us!! That is why I often pray “Put a guard at my mouth and a centry at my lips” and “May the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be acceptable to You, O LORD, my rock and my redeemer.” If I have these verses hidden in my heart, when words rise up within me, the verses come to mind and keep me from speaking the words my flesh wants to speak. And it is ALWAYS a good thing!!



  39. Thank you for this devotional today, Wendy! I struggle with this a lot. My sensitivity to others words has ruined relationships in my life. Reading through others comments, I could relate so much that I felt tears in my eyes. I have searched for ways to not be so sensitive but have never found an answer. From your devotional I now see that God’s Word and prayer is the way that I’ve been searching for. Thank you for making yourself vulnerable to help others.
    May God Bless your ministry,

  40. Thanks for the chance to see thru someone else’s eyes on this issue. Do you ever find that it is exclusive to only a few of those you know? It doesn’t seem to bother me except when these few punch my buttons. I like the scripture in 1 Cor 4: 3 & 4 I care very little what you think of me. I don’t judge myself. Jesus is my judge. Sometimes when we cause our tornado thinking about those who hurt us we cause more hurt to ourselves…it just gets worse and worse. I like to quote scripture when someone does this to me…immediately and out loud (sometimes I have to excuse myself)! I like, Be Still And Know That I Am God or Phil 4:7 and the peace of God…will guard my heart and mind through Christ Jesus. It’s amazing that we have Someone who loves us so much that He cares for our very thoughts about pain and humiliation…but He does. He cares for every part of me…amazing! Thanks for your words…of comfort and reinforcement! They were blessed!

    • Thanks you for the verses!! Love having Truth to fix my mind on when I am confronted with these feelings. And, yes, I agree. It is usually on a few who set me off as well.


      • I think the key word in your devotion is “choose”. When we finally learn we have a choice and we don’t have to be subject to the whims of the world and satan…it is life transforming. I choose to be happy! I choose to be healthy! I choose to be loved! I choose to believe God can and will do it! I choose to know He has “plans…to give hope and a future”! I choose to live and not be among the walking dead! I choose to be a living Word to show others Jesus! I recently learned I’m not a beggar…having to seek others wisdom in my problems but that God daily will fill my cup with all I need if I choose to empty it of all the worldly needs, selfishness, anger, sinfulness. He is all I need to be successful, happy, loving, kind, generous, the list goes on. I just need to quit acting like a beggar and know that I am the Child of the Most High God! Amazing isn’t it? Thanks for your encouraging words…Blessings and hugs!

  41. Great Devotion. This is exactly what I have been struggling with lately. Thank you for the devotion and encouragement.

  42. I do have a Prayer request. Please pray that I will have a teachable heart.Pray that the holy spirit will help me to bet true to my heart I am going through a lot right now and I need to here this Today.

    Miranda I am sorry about your twins I know your pain is great.I pray that you will let God get you through this because he can and it will take time.I know that he will replace your lose just as he did for Job..Amen

    • Praying now for you to have the teachable heart you desire. God will be faithful go give it to you. Remain in His Word and pray fervently!!



  43. Leslie Knicely says

    Hi Wendy,
    Thank you for this timely post. I find this a wonderful option for dealing with hurt feelings in my marriage. I don’t want to let the sun go down on my anger, but this option seems to nip in the bud by finding the grace to overlook the offense before any anger develops. I too have struggled with being too sensitive and my mom shared a verse with me many years ago which also speaks to this issue, Ps 119:165 (KJV) “Those who love Thy law have great peace and nothing offends them.”

    • Wow! I love what you wrote…such wise words…nipping anger in the bud “by finding the grace to overlook the offense before my anger develops.” Thank you for sharing this with us today! And thank you for the Psalm 119 verse.


  44. Michelle in New England says

    Wendy, your devotional spoke right to me today regarding an issue that surfaced last night with my husband, and which I was grappling with when I read your devotional. Your words have definitely guided me today. I’m sure this piece was difficult for you to write, but I am so very grateful that you did.

  45. Thank you for this devotion. This verse is one that i always feel challenged by. Do i really want God to search my heart and show me where i need to change?
    i always enjoy reading your devotions and blogs. Jesus Calling is one book i have heard so much about lately, it seems every time i turn around someone is talking about it. Thank you for the opportunity to win a copy. Blessings to you and your ministry.

  46. My soul rejoices in the fact that God has bestowed on you the wisdom to share these devotions with us. I just wish there were like buttons on the rsponses, for so many inspire and enlighten me. My faith journey has been enriched through the Hebrew Scripture Study and the added devotion such as todays. Oh did it ever talk to my heart!! Thank you for allowing God to work through you to minister to all of us!

  47. I went 5 years not knowing why I was in the bad situation I was in and when I cried out to the Lord He showed me clearly that I was where I am due to my own bad decisions! I seemingly was deceived by the consequences of “decisions” when I made them. I think it took so long for me to figure out because He wants to make sure I NEVER forget! Ha, ha – Love Him so much!

  48. Jennifer Steinman says

    Oh, how this is something I need to work on. I find myself easily offended at times and then I obsess with proving myself right. When I do so, I know it takes away from me and my family, it turns me to the negative. I’m learning that this is the crack in my heart and soul that the dark one plays on, and I am working hard to seal that crack.

    I recently went through a very difficult experience where I was lied to and betrayed by the people I trusted most. And as much as I threw myself to the Lord to get me through it, the devil still found that crack and got in. I was in such a dark place for a few months, and one day I PLEASED with the Lord to give me something, anything to get me back to him, and He answered my prayers. He showed me that no matter how far away I feel He is, He’s really always right there, waiting for me to reach out for Him! After pleading with him, he lead me to a book study of Joyce Meyer’s “Battlefield of the Mind”…how perfect for what I was going through. And now I’m led to this devotional! How amazing His power is!!!

  49. Kathy Williams says

    Thank you for your devotional. It was just what I needed.

  50. LeQuita Jones says

    I use to find myself offended a lot. Cause i find myself so different. With my limitation doest help. Thanks for posting.

  51. I am so thankful that I stumbled upon your devotion today. I have been struggling for several years after being hurt by members of my former church. I did get offended and I let bitterness take root in my heart. It has affected my walk with the Lord which has left me feeling so very thirsty and searching for the way back to the relationship I had with Him. I cried when I read your devotion because it was an answer to prayer. I have signed up for Bible study info and emails each day. Thank you for your obedience to the Lord in sharing what He lays on your heart through these devotions.I am looking forward to receiving them each day. God bless you!

    • Thanks for sharing how God used this devotional to draw you back into a closer relationship with Him. I love how He works!! Your words and the words of so many of the women who have shared today show how faithful God has been to answer the prayers I lifted as I wrote my devotional



  52. Amanda Smith says

    I so needed to hear these words, I struggle with the all consuming need to please everyone around me.. Thank you so much for giving scripture, words and thoughts to ponder..

  53. I would love to win a copy of Jesus Calling…I’ve given 3 copies of it to friends as gifts, but don’t have a copy of my own.

    • How wonderful that you share this devotional with your friends. I know they are so blessed as they open and read it each day!!


  54. Thank you for sharing this…I have had a lot of chances to grow in this area this past couple of years. Sometimes I’ve felt successful (with God’s help of course) and sometimes I feel like I have a long ways to go.

  55. Wendy. Oh Wendy. I really needed to read this today. The is one of the greatest areas I struggle in. I am so thankful that y ou broke this down for me. I need it…and God knows it. God bless you.

  56. I need a teachable heart regarding my thoughts and words, especially towards my children & husband, for my perspective and attitude. Thanks for the reminder about from Psalm 139. I used to pray that regularly and have not for quite awhile. I’m going to try to get back in the habit.

  57. I am always in awe of how God brings before me just what I need to read, hear, and meditate on! Thank you for writing about the hard things we all try to hide, but praise God He sees all and shows us repeatedly how we can trust Him with everything, and continually draw us into closer relationship with Him!

  58. Robin Ickes says

    Hi Wendy,
    Thank you for your devotional today. I am a pastor’s wife and the Lord has been working in my hear this week on holding things against people. I have had hurt feelings over the years and it has been hard to let other women into my life because of it. I have built up walls to keep others out so that I would not get hurt. Reading your devotional today and through my personal study God has shown me that is not about me and that I need to trust Him with my feelings.
    Thanks again,

  59. Thank you!!! I needed this eye opener. I am guilty of not being totally
    Surrendered, obedient and I havent prayed as much nor have I listened.
    I am ashamed to say that I have put everything else before God.
    I believe that, no, I know that God directed to this site.

  60. I am struggling with knowing what God wants me to do. I think I know what He wants of me, but I struggle with believing that I have the energy & focus to do it because I have 2 small children plus I have Lymes disease. I don’t doubt that He wants me to lead an online study, but I am not confident of the timing – I want to do what is best, not just what is good. Does that make sense?

    • Absolutely! Keep taking steps in the direction you feel that He is calling you. Sometimes they may be baby steps for the season of life you are in. Ask for confirmations through His Word and His people. Be patient and listen. He will be faithful!! I have walked your journey as it relates to on-line studies. Each one has been such a blessing in so many ways. He will lead you…watch and see!!


  61. I would like to ask for prayer for myself and my husband. He is the pastor of a local church and lately the devil has really been fighting hard. Any venue he can find he has taken to be in our church. It is very disheartening and discouraging. This week I have begun having stress induced panick attacks and it is very scary. Please pray for things to be different. I read your devotion on choosing to NOT be offended. It came at just the right time. We had asked a couple in our church out to dinner and while out it was made evident at her own admission that she did NOT want to come out to eat with us. It was hurtful but we just kept smiling and talking to her. It was by far the most awkward dinner date we have ever been on with anyone. Several times that evening, she made it evidently clear that she didn’t want to be with us, but we just kept smiling all the while inside I was crying. The hurt was so bad. I do not know what gets into someone to make them be that way to someone. It is unnecessary. How can God work when hearts are this way? I was offended and hurt but when I got home and read your devotion, it made all the difference. I can’t speak for everyone else, but I know God lead me to your site last night because that was just what I needed to read. It helped me to go to sleep with peace. Thanks so much for sharing your devotion with everyone and for taking the time out of your day to give it. It has meant so much to me. Thanks again!

    • Lori, God’s timing is always perfect! I am thankful He used the message He laid on my heart to speak so specifically to your circumstances and your heart. I pray that He will be at work in your church and in the lives of your congregation, specifically that He will put a wall of angels around it to keep Satan and his minions OUT. Maybe you can join in this by speaking the words, “You shall not pass, Satan,” everytime you walk in and out of the church doors. Speaking out loud to Him is so powerful and God says when we do, he must flee!!! Praying he will flee in the Name of Jesus and you can go back to doing Kingdom work in powerful ways. Don’t let him distract you through people like this couple. You reached out and loved them and that is all you can do. The rest is up to them.



  62. I did sign up for Hebrews, but i cannot be on Line everyday. i have no computer, i go to the library. I have prayed the prayer you have and i havent seemed to get anything yet and i keep thinking there has to be something. I understand the teachable heart and i am not so sure i have been always teachable, but i am praying God will cause me to be. I Love All of the devotionals, they are uplifting, encouraging, but teaching and reminding me of things i have forgotten. Please pray God will show me if there is anything displeasing to Him in my Life. i Know i am not always good at admitting that and even knowing genuine humbleness, and i dont like to believe i am proud, because it seems so bad, and i dont want to be that. pray i will have a teachable spirit, and all the things you mentioned, like being a better listener, not jumping to conclusions and etc. Please pray i can experience genuine love. Thanks 🙂

    • God will honor your prayers. You have expressed a desire to change in so many ways, and God is pleased with your heart. But my advice is to choose one thing at a time to really pray about and focus on with the Lord. it is so hard to change so much at one time. By taking one area at a time, you can really focus on it, pray about it, and watch God work specifically in and through your prayers. He will be faithful!!



  63. There is so much going on in my life at this time, and some things have happened that just brought a flood of memories of bad things from the past. I know God is healing me, but it was so unexpected and confusing to me. i am really bad at Trusting, even those i should. If someone says they are not lying to me, like a pastor, it takes a lot for me to believe them. there has been genuine hurt and hurt that i may have taken on that i did not need too or because i jumped to conclusions. Pray i can Trust again and know who to trust

  64. Thank you, Wendy! God bless you!

  65. Several years ago,I lost a dear relationship through a mis-commnication and it has grieved me ao much. Trying to deal with ths pain has caused me to evaluate my attitudes and reactions to others. Through prayer and time spent with God, I believe that I am doing a better job of handling offenses but am not there yet!! God is an awesome teacher!!

  66. Thank you for this message. It was exactly what I needed to hear. A great reminder of whom we Really need to trust and whose opinion Really counts. Also I know there are times I say things and don’t realize how they came across to someone- even if not meant that way. I must be mindful of what I say and what I hear. Be blessed and thanks for devotionals.

  67. This one really spoke to me. This is something that myself and my sister in law have been dealing with. Just this past Sunday my husband said…”they really needed to be here for that sermon”. Then I read this. You are right. I used to get offended so quickly but now, I am looking at every “offense” and ask myself why I am offended and what is God trying to work out in me. Our church recently did a study call “The Bait of Satan”, its all about offenses. Great study!! I guess my point is you can only control you. For me, I get offended, I forgive the offender and deal with the offense with God.

    I just ask for prayers for reconciliation with my sister in law. Thanks for all prayers.

  68. Thank you for your ministry and your devotions.

  69. Thank you for your sacrifices and your teaching. Our Father is doing a Great Work through this ministry. Blessings in Jesus Name to you.
    Standing on Colossians 2:14-17 for all of the Kingdom of God. There are challenges but, Christ is our Advocate and the Overcomer. Praise Jesus! Amen always.

  70. Recently God has revealed to me a number of things that I need to change within myself. I was so focused on being a good girl and a good Christian, that my relationship with God was starting to suffer. This post is really helping me to notice another thing that I need to pray for God to help me through. I take things said to me so personally and I feel that people judge me by their words. And sometimes I judge them and their opinion of me through their words as well.

    • Tabitha, what you say is so true. God does not want us to focus on being a good girl. He wants us to focus on our hearts. And as our heart changes and becomes more like Him, our behavior will follow!! We need only be judged by our Father in heaven!!!


  71. debbie pete says

    My Husband and I just arrived ont eh mission field. Everyone but us is speaking Portuguese.

  72. Dear Wendy,

    This is my first time reading your devotional. I desperately need prayer for my marriage. My husband and I rarely speak to one another and we have 2 young children. There is so much hurt and offence between us it feels like we are already divorced. I don’t know how I can continue to live like this. My husband is terribly drepressed. I felt really hurt by him tonight, but after reading your devotion I was better able to look at my part in what led to the hurt. Thank you for your prayers in advance.

    • Marilyn, left you a message on the other post as well. But please know I have prayed for you and your husband…for God to begin a healing work. He is so pleased that you have seen your part in this hurt and He will bless that. Praying strength for you to persevere and for Wisdom to know what to speak, when to speak it. Praying for both of your hearts to be open to reconciliation!!



  73. Tammi weathers says

    Please pray for my family, the one bound together by the blood of Christ. My heart aches over this, and all that is in my power to do is pray God into it. We have lost our pastor, many of our sisters and brothers are offended and angered by one another. Please pray for us to be restored to a church that honors God. Thank you.

    • Tammi, I am so sorry your church family is experiencing such pain and brokenness. Satan’s attacks are so powerful on God’s people, especially when it is a place that he knows can do mighty Kingdom work. Praying in agreement with you now for healing and restoration. Praying their eyes will be open to the guiles of the evil one and for them to see the best in each other.

      Blessings to you,


  74. This was an awesome post because this is actually where the Lord has been teaching me for this past year. I remember this one time the Lord showed me how I fear people and he lovingly told me, “give me that. Let me heal that.” This was when I finally realized, by the Holy Spirit, that I desired for him to heal me… So I told him, “ok, Lord. Here you go. Here’s my fear… My deep deep fear.” to this day, I see the Lord healing me little by little from this fear. This fear for me is tricky because it’s got all kinds of fear wrapped up in the fear of man. Like fear of rejection, judgement from others, criticism, and intimacy. I have a really rough past where i never truly knew how to relate to others, but the Lord is redeeming all that has been lost in my little life before i gave my life to Him. And whatever the Lord is calling me to do, it’s going to be around people, so in order for me to do what the Lord has called me to do… I can’t be fearful of the very people the Lord is calling me to. He alone wants me to fear nothing but Him.

    You’re post was extremely encouraging because I believe being humble to the Lord is foundational as a Christian.

    • Christine, thank you for sharing this beautiful story of God’s work and your faithful obedience. Fear is such a gripping spirit. I lived with it for over a decade after I was raped by a man hiding in my apartment. My book, Hidden Joy in a Dark Corner, shares how God enabled me to overcome my fear through His Word. I am so thankful the Lord used the devotional He laid on my heart to encourage what He has already been doing in your life!

      Sweet Blessings,


  75. Well, it seems I got this message twice in a week, so I am sure there is deeper meaning I need to look into in my own heart. In so many areas this is a battle I like to preach to others, but don’t practice so well. Thanks for posting. God Bless.

  76. I’ve been reading Joyce Meyers book Power Thoughts and one of the chapters is called or says “I am difficult to offend”. One of the scriptures mentioned is Psalm 119:165 which says, “Great peace have I who loves Your law; nothing shall offend me or make me stumble.” I think that is a great verse and I hope it helps one of you. God bless you all and thank you Wendy for this post!

  77. Brenda Adkins says

    I am a mother that has been lied about to the point that it had my 12 year old son taken away from me! It all started in 2010 when my family became homeless by situation only! All I want and deserve is my son back! I suffered 18 years of abuse and then walked away to only to be still called everything in the book! I am not who people say I am only God knows who I am and that is all that matters! I also had been told that I had to work instead of finishing college to get my RN degree!

    • I am so sorry for your situation, Brenda. Praying now for God to rise up and be your Defender and a Shield about you. May all things hidden be revealed and may all lies be proven false. May you sense His presence and comfort in the midst of these difficult circumstances.



  78. I am in the midst of a lifetime struggle with a deeply insecure, jealous, bitter mother and older sister. The effects on my life have been devastating but for God. I’m certain without him, I would be an addict of some sort. I loved this devotion today. Thanks for writing it.

  79. I thank God for you as well Wendy! Please pray for me, I am dealing with so many things, I need prayer for a broken woman, me, I also need prayer to seek God with all that I am to be the woman He created before the foundations of the world, I need prayer to be the spiritual leader in my home, to instill the Love of God to my gift God has given me, my son. I believe that there is absolutely nothing God can do, He is God, the One, The Only and I am thankful He chose to love me, the good me, the bad me, and the ugly me. Thank you for your prayers, Wendy!! Remain a blessing.

    • Father, I lift Lily to you know. Father, remind her daily that she is a Daughter of the King. She is your precious child who you treasure and who you have created with a purpose and a plan to do wonderful things for you and your Kingdom. Open her eyes to see herself through your eyes. Help her not to put pressure on herself to be “perfect.” Help her to just live out her faith each and every day in very small and faithful ways.




  1. […] (If you are looking for my “Choose NOT to be Offended” devotional post, please click here.) […]

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